when i turned 18

Facing Reality {Chapter 3}

The days blurred together. It still didn't feel real; it had been exactly a week since his death, and I still hated seeing his car outside all day, every day. I despised the constant reminder that he was gone, that I no longer had my dad.

I never thought it would hit me this hard, but it did. I'd always been nonchalant, but nothing could've prepared me for this shitshow.

It was strange, missing and mourning him. Knowing it wasn't a bad dream, knowing I'd never get to hug him again. Our last conversation was fucking horrible. "God," I thought, "This is all my fault."

The regrets and what-ifs circled endlessly in my mind, tormenting me with their relentless grip.

I just wanted one more chance, one more opportunity to mend the fractured bond between us, to tell him how much he meant to me, how sorry I was for the things left unsaid.

But time, cruel and unforgiving, moved on. I was in the middle of working out, drowning out all of my emotions, putting them into vigorous workouts, then received a text from Cassidy.

"thanks for standing me up lol" Followed by, "oh and ghosting me"

I groaned, realizing I had completely forgotten to even respond to her since that day.

In a rush, I explained to her, bluntly. "My dad died, Cassidy."

She calls me immediately after.

"Oh my god, Andrew, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to be a bitch, but you went an entire week with absolutely no contact..."

I sighed, feeling the weight of her words, "Cassidy, nothing prepares you for death. I haven't spoken to anyone in a week. I don't plan to, I'm sorry for ghosting you."

Her voice softened, filled with understanding."Hey. I get it, we met at a soccer field, I can't expect spectacular communication and shouldn't. Stranger danger!"

For the first time all week, a genuine smile crossed my face. "I'm no stranger, I messed you up with a ball! That's serious."

She grimaced playfully, "Yeah, I remember, dick!! You owe me a milkshake, but in your own time, okay? I'm here for you."

I replied, feeling a warmth in her offer. "Thank you, Cassidy. It means a lot."

Her voice softened further as she said, "Any time, Andrew."

We exchanged goodbyes as I prepared to head to the gym showers.

After finishing up in the shower, I grabbed my gym bag and headed home, my mind still reeling from that unexpected call from Cassidy.

As I stepped through the front door, I was met with a sight I hadn't anticipated - a gathering of family members in the living room.

Mom, with a weary expression, glanced from her seat, her eyes were red and puffy from all the tears. Camila, my sister, sat beside her, a mixture of sadness and exhaustion etched on her face.

And there were others too, relatives I hadn't expected to see.

"Andrew, you're back," Mom said softly, standing up to greet me.

I nodded, feeling a lump form in my throat. "Yeah. What's going on?"

Camila began, her hands trembling. "We thought it would be best to discuss the funeral arrangements together, as a family."

Initially, I didn't like the idea of seeing so many family members I hadn't seen in years, but to my surprise, none of them bombarded me with questions I wasn't ready to answer.

As we began to discuss the details of the funeral, my grandmother, chimed in, "I will pay for everything. No matter how expensive."

With a collective nod of agreement, we decided to have an open casket service, allowing friends and family to pay their final respects.