when i turned 18

Home {Chapter 17}

As days turned into weeks, the weight of grief hung heavy upon us, a constant presence in our lives. Cassidy found herself navigating through a haze of sorrow, each moment filled with a profound sense of loss.

Weeks later, I find myself sitting beside Cassidy on the porch, the warmth of the morning sun casting a gentle glow upon us. Handing her a cup of tea, I offer a tender smile, our unspoken connection speaking volumes in the silence between us.

Cassidy takes a sip of her tea, the steam rising in the cool air before she looks at me. Her eyes are swollen and tired, evidence of countless nights spent crying and struggling to sleep. I can sense the storm brewing behind her gaze, so she retreats into the house, attempting to conceal her emotions. I follow closely behind, the tension palpable in the air.

"Cassidy, it's going to be okay," I say softly, my hand gently resting on her shoulder in an attempt to offer comfort.

She suddenly lashes out at me, her words cutting through the air like a knife. "You have no remorse, none. It's been almost a month, and all you do is go to school and act like everything's fine. But it's not. I lost my daughter; nothing will ever be okay again."

I try to diffuse the situation quickly, recognizing the depth of her pain. "Cass, if I could drop out of school, I would. I promise you that. You are my priority, always."

Her anger intensifies, and she pushes me away forcefully, her eyes burning with frustration. "No, you don't understand. You come home, pretending everything's normal, and expect me to just move on! But I can't. If you truly prioritized me, you would drop out and get your GED."

I exhale deeply, feeling overwhelmed by the weight of her words. "It's not that easy, Cass-"

But she cuts me off, her voice rising with each word. "Yes, it is, Andrew! I refuse to handle my baby's death like you did with your father's. I won't just brush this off!"

In that moment, a flood of emotions washes over me – anger, betrayal, and disbelief. I struggle to process it all, my mind swirling with conflicting thoughts.

I mutter a curse, "Fuck you, Cassidy."

I turn away from her and head to our room, hastily packing a bag. I need space, distance from her accusations and the pain they inflict. She had no right to say those things to me. None at all.

As I hastily walked out, my heart raced with each step, a mix of frustration and sadness swirling within me. In my rush, I accidentally knocked over a picture frame, the glass shattering as it hit the ground. Inside was a photo of me and Cassidy, captured in a moment of rare tranquility by the sunset. It used to be a reminder of better times, but now it felt like a painful stab of loss.

The sound of the frame hitting the floor echoed through the room, drawing Cassidy's attention. She was seated on the couch, her usually composed demeanor replaced by a look of raw emotion. With her hands buried in her face, it was evident that she was overwhelmed, struggling to keep her composure amidst the chaos of our crumbling relationship.

As I gathered my things and headed towards the door, Cassidy's voice stopped me in my tracks. "Andrew, please," she pleaded softly, her tone tinged with desperation.

Turning to face her, I could see the anguish in her eyes, a mirror to the turmoil in my own heart. "I need space," I murmured, the words heavy with unspoken pain. "I'll be back in a couple of days."

"Don't," she whispered, her voice barely audible as she lifted her gaze to meet mine.

The intensity of her stare made my heart ache with a mixture of longing and uncertainty. "Don't what, Cassidy?" I asked, my voice tinged with frustration.