when i turned 18

Goodbye {Chapter 25: Final Chapter}

During the drive home, the car seemed unusually quiet, amplifying the chaotic thoughts swirling in my head. A strange sense of heaviness settled over me. It wasn't that I believed I had made the wrong decision, but somehow it still didn't feel entirely right either.

Despite the time I've spent growing and getting to know both Cassidy and Leia, I feel as though I never really had the chance to know them at all. Cassidy and I jumped straight into a relationship—questionable, yes, but I wanted to be there for her and the baby. And sleeping with Leia, well, that was probably the best mistake I've ever made. That night with Leia was a whirlwind of emotions and longing, a moment of connection that felt both exhilarating and terrifying.

As I stopped at each red light, watching the city sky fade to black, I found myself replaying moments in my mind. What could I have done differently? How could I have been more careful, more considerate, to protect both of their feelings, no matter the cost?

The streetlights cast long shadows on the pavement, mirroring the doubts that stretched across my thoughts. Regardless, what's done is done. I can't go back, and I know Cassidy will treat me right. I reminded myself of this as I finally pulled into her driveway, the familiar sight of her home bringing a mix of relief and apprehension. There's no point in dwelling, I thought, but the lingering weight in my chest suggested otherwise.

Stepping out of the car, the cool night air hit me, offering a moment of clarity. I stood there for a minute, looking up at the stars, trying to find some solace in their distant, unwavering presence. Maybe, just maybe, things would fall into place. But for now, all I could do was move forward, one step at a time.

I took a deep breath before unlocking Cassidy's front door. Stepping inside, I was greeted by the warm glow of a candlelit dinner. The soft scent of lavender and vanilla candles filled the air, mixing with the delicious aroma of freshly cooked food. Cassidy ran towards me, her face lit up with excitement, her eyes sparkling in the candlelight. "Hi, you're back! I made us dinner. I hope you're hungry."

I nodded lightly, trying to appear a bit happier for her. "Thanks, Cass. I actually am."

She clapped her hands in delight, then grabbed my hand and led me to my chair. She pushed me in, whispering giddily, "I'm recreating our first romantic date, but this time, I push you in."

I smiled, appreciating her effort. The atmosphere was cozy, with the flickering candles casting soft shadows on the walls and the table elegantly set with our favorite dishes. She had gone all out, even using the fancy tablecloth and the good silverware.

As we began to eat, I noticed the nervous energy in her movements, the way she kept glancing at me, seeking reassurance. I tried to focus on the present, on her efforts to make this evening special, but a familiar tension started to creep in, wrapping itself around my thoughts like a cold, constricting snake.

Halfway through dinner, as I was taking a bite of the perfectly cooked salmon, my mind betrayed me, dragging me back to the unresolved issues that haunted our relationship. Cassidy had ghosted Aaron when we first started talking, a move that had left me with a lingering sense of distrust. And even though she had promised to cut ties, I knew she had been in contact with him throughout our relationship.

I remembered the night vividly when I discovered her secret communications. The sickening feeling of betrayal, the heated arguments that followed, and her tearful apologies. She had promised then, as she did now, that she would change, that she would commit to us fully.

My mind snapped back to the present as Cassidy reached across the table to touch my hand. "Are you okay? You seem off, distant."

I forced a smile, but the tension in my chest remained. "Yeah, just a lot on my mind."