Throwing Shadows (A Mialotte Story)

Chapter Five

Being a single parent is hard. Charlotte can't imagine how people do it from the baby years all the way through. The last few months have been difficult enough, and she's been lucky that Ben is having the girls on a Wednesday evening and every other weekend now that he's got a new place. Still, it's not even 9 and she's exhausted.

Work had been fairly easy, particularly since they had less kids than planned. Charlotte had ended her chat with Marjorie and Reece and headed back in to help Carly and one of the girls she doesn't know so well to set up a mark-making activity with shaving foam and paintbrushes. Nobody had needed to stay late, which meant one less late payment Charlotte would need to make to the girls' after-school club. She had managed to get through the traffic to collect them, had thrown a basic dinner together thanks to the freezer and the air fryer, had done two lots of hair-washing, navigated a Barbie vs Monster High showdown on the landing and had listened to an impassioned speech from her older daughter Ava about why they needed to get a kitten.

It's only as she finally sits down on the sofa after cleaning the kitchen that she realises she completely forgot about doing any reading or homework.

That, she realises, is just something they will have to deal with in the morning.

Glancing at her phone to check the time, Charlotte can't help but wonder what Mia is doing. A single, child-free woman who finally has her freedom and access to enough savings for her to take a moment before she needs to work again.

Charlotte is honest with herself these days. She's jealous. She hates that she's jealous. She wouldn't swap lives permanently, but just for a day or so. She's also honest about the fact that she misses Mia.

The thought it enough for Charlotte to unlock her phone and find the name at the top of her messages.

"Hello, sweetheart". Charlotte's heart quickens at the raspy tone. "How was your day?"

"Interesting."

Charlotte can almost picture Mia's smirk as she questions her. "Anything to do with my chat with Marjorie?"

"Well, sort of. Were had a chance to talk but, ah, Reece joined us. Which made things a bit awkward when we got onto the topic of our night together. He couldn't quite believe we had only talked."

"Well, it is the one thing we definitely didn't do when we were together."

"Apparently so. Anyway, he managed to somehow get the whole threesome business into the conversation which Marjorie was thrilled about as you can imagine." Mia's quiet chuckle rings through the receiver. "But it did make me realise something. Something I'd actually like to talk to you about if that's okay."

"Always, sweetheart."

Charlotte has never been the most confident of people. Sure, she's knows she's not the worst looking woman in the world, but it's never been in her nature to flaunt it. As far as she's concerned, there are far prettier women who live very different lives to her. The kind of life she imagines Mia wanting now that she can choose her own destiny.

"It's just... you could have your pick of anyone. We're... I'm... I'm not even sure what's going on. What I am, I mean. And you could.... You deserve to be with someone who is sure." Charlotte takes a shaky breath. "You had all those years with a man you weren't even attracted to. I just don't want you to feel obliged or like you have to take pity on me when you're finally able to go off and live guilt-free."

It's a lot, Charlotte realises, to put on one person; to expect them to unpick and understand. The last thing she wants to be is a burden.

"Sweetheart," Mia's gentle voice instantly relaxes her, "I've already explored. You know this. All those nights in all those bars, I found the pretty girls who wanted to experiment. All the straight girls who wanted a bit of attention after a few drinks. The girls who would go home to their boyfriend the next morning." Charlotte knows there's a touch of sadness to Mia's voice now. "I'm too old and too tired for games like that. I want something real. Something genuine."

Charlotte can understand that. After three years feeling like she was living a lie in her marriage, she can appreciate how much honesty and openness helps in a relationship.

Almost as if she can read her mind, Mia reassures her. "You need time to process. I've been there, sweetheart. I get it. The best thing you can do is start looking forward. Figure out what you want and then work out how to get there."

In the background, Charlotte is fairly certain she can hear some kind of alarm. "Mia, where are you?"

"In a hotel at Gatwick. I'm flying to Malaga in the morning. A friend of mine lives out there who I haven't seen for years."

"Oh." Charlotte's mind whirrs. It's annoying, she thinks, that the moment Mia mentions anyone else she starts to spiral. It tells her more about where she wants this to go than she's currently comfortable admitting.

"Don't be jealous, sweetheart. He's as gay as I am. Anyway, I'm hoping he might be able to help me with finding a new career."

"Nice." A creaking from upstairs puts Charlotte on high alert. "Sorry, Mia. I... I think Maisie's awake. Give me two seconds to check? Don't go anywhere."

"I won't."

Charlotte places her phone on the table next to her sofa and quietly pads up the stairs. A quick glance into each bedroom confirms that both girls are still fast asleep. Letting out a breath, she rushes back down and picks up her phone.

"Sorry. False alarm."

"How are they doing?"

For some reason, Charlotte is taken aback by Mia's question. By her interest. "Oh. I... I didn't think you'd want to... I wasn't sure if..." It takes Charlotte a moment to breathe and put her words in the right order. "Does it bother you? That I have kids?"

In her head, Charlotte is very much keeping her home life and Mia separate. She has to keep thing stable for the girls, especially since in the last few months they've had to adjust to so much change. Combining the two isn't something she's even thought about yet.

"Char, I care about you. I don't want to complicate things, but they're a part of you and..." Mia's tone shifts slightly. For a moment, she sounds just like she did back when the two of them were laying side by side in her bed. "Tell me about them."

Charlotte has never been one to shy away from talking about her girls. They are her pride and joy and, at 7 and 5 years old, they're starting to grow into proper little people with their own characters and preferences. Ava is little miss independent. She loves stationery and organising her room and argues like a solicitor. Maisie is the wild one. She's sassy and doesn't really have a filter. She makes Charlotte laugh every single day. The three of them together have the most incredible fun. It makes it all worth it.

"Well, Maisie dropped on us at dinner tonight that we should get a pet. Normal enough request, but- and I quote- Maisie's exact words were 'I think we need a pet to replace Daddy in our family'."

On the other end of the line, Charlotte hears Mia snigger. "Wow."

"I know, right? But then Ava takes that and rolls with it. After dinner the two of them disappeared and, once I'd washed up, I was forced to sit on the sofa and listen to a ten-minute presentation on why we should get a kitten."

"Impressive."

"It was. Ava even made campaign posters."

"And the verdict?"

"I'm on the fence."

"Well," Mia says in a hushed tone, "I think I'm on their side on this one." Charlotte sighs comically. "If only because" Mia interrupts her, "I love a good pus-"

"Mia!"

Mia's melodic laugh echoes in Charlotte's living room as she blushes, sat in shock.

"Anyway. I'll leave you with that thought. Sweet dreams."