The summer everything changed | CF

22~You're a fucking adult

    "So you gonna tell me?" Aiden questioned again as we chatted about random things. I was actually avoiding his question and I think he definitely knew that.

    I tugged my lips to the side unsure. "Um, yeah but maybe another time because it kind of really bums me out. I'm actually enjoying myself and I don't want to ruin that." I explained and he nodded understandingly. He points to the crowd listening to the band, Milo singing awfully. I never really noticed because I didn't listen to it. But he did really sound like knock off of MGK.

    "Is that your brother standing up there with his shirt off?" I looked over and saw Steven twirling his shirt in the air.

    "Ew, yeah." I responded watching him climb up and jump like he was expecting everyone to catch him. In a crowd surfing situation, like he was on some sort of tv show. But instead everyone parted and he fell hard to the ground.

    "Ooo, ouch." Aiden winced, I covered my mouth for a moment to cringe but then ended up laughing.

     "What an actual idiot." I couldn't help but laugh, I was a little worried he was hurt but at the same time. He kind of deserved it for relying on a crowd teenagers to catch him. I watched Steven stand up finally, Belly and Taylor approached him. So I assumed he was okay and just kept talking to him. It was easy to talk to someone when they weren't thinking about how you had just lost someone so close to you.

I hadn't talked to either of the boys in a months, I didn't know how I felt about Conrad and I was still upset at Jeremiah for ditching me the night of the deb ball. But when I got a phone call at eleven o'clock at night from Conrad I didn't know if I wanted to pick up. I mean I could have always just pretended I was asleep and texted him in the morning with a fake apology. But something in my heart told me I should pick up, so I listened.

"Hey." His voice echoed through the speaker, sending chills through my spine.

"Hi." I said back and I wondered if he could tell that my voice was shaking. That my whole body was shaking.

"I'm sorry, did I wake you up?" I thought for a second trying to figure out if I answered that question incorrectly if he'd hang up and let me go to sleep.

"I-yeah but it's okay." I lied, I was awake. Wide awake. Even more now that I'd seen his name pop up on my phone.

"Is this weird?" He asked again and I closed my eyes thinking. Is it?

"Um maybe. But what's going on?" I was a little curious, I didn't understand why he was calling me. Why now? "Your mom's okay right?" That was my first assumption.

"Oh yeah, I mean as okay as she can be considering starting the treatment." He responded, I knew out of all people he wouldn't sugarcoat things to me. "But I think it's gonna help, I have hope."

"That's good, I'm glad you're hopeful." It went quiet for a moment, too quiet. He had something to say but he didn't want to tell me. "What's going on Conrad?"

"I just—" He stopped himself. "I've been talking to Belly." No. "And I was wondering if you would be upset if I wanted to start seeing her more." There was actually no way Conrad was asking me this right now. I was now more annoyed than anything, all my life has lead up to being disappointed. This was just another one of those times.

"Yeah Conrad you're a fucking adult do what you want." I hung up, I wish I never talk to him like that.

I heard yelling and I knew exactly what was happening. "You screwed up, and now everything is weird with Conrad and Jeremiah. I mean, they won't even text me back anymore because of you." I heard Steven and I stood up to see what was going on Aiden followed me.

    "That's not my fault!" I heard Belly yell and I wanted to butt in right then and there. It was her fault, if she wouldn't have kissed Conrad things would be different.

    Steven was angry and I wasn't sure how much he blamed me for this too. "Isn't it? Hmm?" He said sarcastically. "I should be celebrating with them tonight, but they wouldn't come because you made things messy. You had Jeremiah, and it just wasn't enough. Ollie had Conrad and you just had to have him too!" He was standing up for me? She huffed annoyed looking over at me for a moment. But quickly back to Steven.

"God, you are so fսcking selfish. Steven!" Belly was emotional, that's just who she was. She wore her heart on her sleeve and I wish I was more like that. But in this case maybe not.

    "What? Are you serious?" It was like listening to mom and dad argue. I didn't want it to be happening but if it was I wanted to know it wasn't my fault.

    "I had to have Conrad too? Are you kidding?" Taylor stood like she also didn't want to interrupt. "I was in love, Steven! Like out of my mind in love! What was I supposed to do?"

    "Maybe not lead a guy on and steal a guy away from your twin sister?" Taylor grabbed Belly's shoulders and turned her to face her.

"Hey. Steven is a drunk idiot right now. Please do not listen to him."

"No, no. He's right. I mean, I ruined things with both of them, and then Susannah died, and I completely ruined her funeral. And I just, I wish I hadn't started any of it." That was the only thing I have agreed with her in eight months.

"No you don't." Taylor said and I furrowed my eyebrows. Taylor was always on Belly's side no matter what, but the one thing was that she hated Belly and Conrad together. More like she hated Conrad in general. She doesn't care how it made me feel. She's not caring how her words are breaking me down all over again right now.

"Yes I do." Belly argued.

"No you don't."

"Yes, I do. And I'm so tired of feeling sad all the time, and I just, I don't think I get to feel better." The more I thought about Belly and Conrad's relationship after everything happened, I felt something I haven't in a while. I felt a tear roll down my cheek and I quickly wiped it away hoping no one had noticed.

    Belly soon stormed off leaving Steven and I without a ride home. So I stood frozen for a moment and looked over at the boy who was still standing beside me. "Are you sober?" He nodded. "Can you take me home? I can't be here anymore, I feel like everyone is staring at me."

    "Yeah of course."