Welcome Home Transcripts (found on the actual website)

LIVE INTERVIEW

[The audio begins with something just having been said, the audience clapping uproariously. The interviewer laughs and claps with them, winding down first before the audience does.]

INTERVIEWER: -Just wonderful- You sound like you have a lot going on in that neighborhood. In that uh-

WALLY: Welcome Home.

INTERVIEWER: -Yes, yes! That beautiful world of Welcome Home. Since the show's really taken off, Wally, I'd say you're quite the popular character now-

WALLY: [Genuinely surprised.] I am?

INTERVIEWER: You are!

WALLY: [Wally laughs and quickly responds.] I am!

[The audience laughs. The interviewer laughs. Wally laughs too.]

INTERVIEWER: Yes- And you're quite the little charmer too, from what I heard-

WALLY: [Interrupting the interviewer.] -You're not so bad yourself!

[The audience laughs uproariously again, the interviewer also laughing with them at Wally's quick-witted remark.]

INTERVIEWER: [Coming down from laughter.] Well, thank you- That's exactly it! Is that why they call you Wally Darling?

WALLY: They call me Wally Darling because that's my name.

[The audience laughs again, they're just eating this up. There's a beat before the interviewer cracking up himself. Wally laughs too, as if on cue.]

INTERVIEWER: [Coming down from laughter again.] That's true, that's true! [Pause for audience.] You're very beloved by a lot of different people now. Do you find yourself in any sort of romances lately, hm?

WALLY: [Flabbergasted] Romance?

INTERVIEWER: Yes- [Whispers to Wally what it means, maybe to be more discreet.] A love life?- Being so popular and all-

WALLY: [Chime in.] Oh no, I don't know. I love everyone. I love my friends.

INTERVIEWER: Oh? That's right, you've got a lot of friends in that neighborhood- In fact I think you said you brought one in for us to meet. Is that right?

WALLY: Yes, it's my best friend. He's my neighbor, too. His name is Barnaby-

BARNABY: [Interrupting as he walks in.] Barnaby B. Beagle! [Quickly said, one after the other] Hey! Who? How? What? Hello! How ya doin', Rick?

INTERVIEWER: [Said as if to solidify that name in his memory.] Barnaby B. Beagle. Mr. Beagle, a pleasure to have you here.

BARNABY: [Barnaby laughs.] Hey, enough with the formalities- Beagle is my mother's name, just call me Barn!

INTERVIEWER: Oh is that right? She was a dog too?

BARNABY: Oh no no, she's a chicken! Ya might've heard of her- She's a real famous lady! She crossed the road once-!

INTERVIEWER: She crossed the road! [Small pause.] What for?

BARNABY: To get to the other side! [He pauses as the audience laughs at such an obvious set up. Barnaby chuckles too as he continues.] They're still talkin' about her to this very day!

INTERVIEWER: [Laughing slightly alongside the audience. He repeats Barnaby's line as if to confirm his words.] To this very day! Wally, you certainly live amongst a colorful array of characters, it's no wonder you've come into stardom recently! So how are you two handling the attention?

BARNABY: I've been destined for show-biz since I was just a puppy! What's a couple more eyes to a well-known comedian like me? As long as they're not throwin' tomatoes at me, it sounds like a walk in the park! [Pause for laughter from the audience.] I tell ya, we got a neighbor who's got an arm like a professional baseball player! It's not easy!

INTERVIEWER: [Laughs] Wow! I've ducked a few tomatoes in my own time. Sounds like a handful, Barn. What about you, Wally? What do you think of all this newfound fame?

WALLY: [Takes a long pause.] I think it's just the most!

[The audience cheers at hearing his signature phrase before the audio abruptly ends.]