The Five Cursed Witches: Volume 3 - Morana, the Witch of Life

Chapter 20 Meditation

Morana

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When we landed in Alejo's apartment, I immediately sat down on the couch while waiting for everything to stop spinning. It wasn't as bad as the first time, but still pretty bad.

Not bad enough, though, to make me forget about his suggestion. It had been so out of the blue. And we barely knew each other. But I wanted to accept. He was easy and fun to be around, and what he had said made sense. It would be especially nice to be able to save a lot more of money.

I still felt hesitant though. If we lived together, there was a much higher risk of me doing something which would end our friendship. Or he would finally start being bothered by my darkness when I was constantly around.

I really didn't want that. I didn't want to lose him.

But that fact made it so that I didn't have much of an option. I would never be able to save up the money the witch bank needed if I kept living in my apartment. And if I didn't save up that money, I would eventually have to move.

"You want something before we start?" Alejo asked when I straightened myself on the couch.

I shook my head. "Na, let's just get started."

He smiled and then moved to sit down on the floor. I frowned, but followed and sat down opposite him.

"The first thing to do is just to learn to feel your own magic," he explained. "You must become aware of it to be able to control it. And to become aware, you'll have to meditate."

I groaned, and he chuckled.

"It's not so bad really. And remember, it's for a purpose. Think about all the awesome magic you'll be able to do later," he added, and that did help. It at least gave me enough motivation to feel like trying.

"And do I just meditate? Like just close my eyes and think of nothing?" I asked.

"No. More like you close your eyes and search within yourself. Magic is like an extra energy inside of you, and you need to find that energy."

"And I just search for it?"

"Sort of yes. Just look into yourself and focus on finding it."

I gave him a skeptical look, but closed my eyes to try.

After what likely was only a few minutes but felt like forever, I opened my eyes again. The sentence "this is stupid" had been going on repeat in my head.

"Nothing," I said. "I can't even concentrate on doing it."

"Close your eyes again," he said.

I raised an eyebrow, but did as he told me.

"Concentrate on your body," he said in a soft tone. "Pay attention to how it's feeling on the outside. Is it warm or maybe cold? How does the floor feel beneath you? How are the clothes on your skin?"

I did as he said, but still felt completely ridiculous. What did it matter that I felt completely fine with the temperature? Or that the floor was a bit hard to sit on? Or that the more aware I became of my clothes, the weirder they felt against my skin?

"Now go a step further in. How are your muscles? Are they tired? Or well rested? Maybe they long to be used? Or they are tensed from being used too much?"

My muscles ached slightly, that was sure and not surprising. I worked on my feet all day and moved around a lot. But the aching wasn't that bad. Not anything I normally noticed.

"And one step further in. Feel your heartbeat. Notice the pace. Your lungs expanding as you inhale, and shrinking as you exhale. Pay attention to your stomach. Is it working or resting? Empty or full?"

My heartbeat and breathing were both calm and steady. I hadn't thought about it before we started, but I hadn't eaten anything yet that day. I would have to eat something as soon as the meditation was over. Maybe it would have been smart to stop it right then and there to eat. But all was calm. I was getting slightly drowsy. It was hard to follow his instructions, and I felt completely relaxed.

"Take one step further in and feel your mind. What emotions are you feeling? What state are you in? What emotions are hidden within you that you don't let others see?"

Loneliness and sadness. I didn't like letting other people know those feelings. I tried my best to hide them behind a facade of toughness. But I was both lonely and sad because of it.

"And take one final step in. Feel your own life energy. Feel the essence that makes up you and feel the power there. Notice that there is more than what you except. That there is an energy intertwined with your own."

It was hard. I wasn't sure I could even feel my own energy. I concentrated harder, searched within me, and tried to find something. But it felt empty, blank.

I got ready to give up, but decided to give it one last push. I focused and imagined what it might look like. As I did, I noticed it. An energy buzzing in me, threads going from my finger tops and up my arms, up to my head and down my body to my toes. I tried to hold on to it, tried to make out my magic in the threads. But I was so tired. I felt completely exhausted, and the thread slipped away from me.

I took steps back, out from the depths within me. Became more and more aware of my surroundings. My body felt stiff, my butt ached, and there was a layer of sweat covering my body.

I opened my eyes and felt like closing them again to fall asleep. But that desire was quickly gone when my eyes landed on the window. It had been mid-day when we had returned from the bank, but now the sky was colored pink by the setting sun.