Hold back the love

Coping

Jimin pasted a smile on his face as he saw Jungkook and Tae chasing around the practice room after each other.
"Oh hi Jimin....your usually here first?" Tae said stopping in front of him.
"I was at the gym I forgot the time."
"You've already been there ? You're going to wear yourself out!" Hobi said coming up behind him looking at him worriedly.
Jungkook glanced over at the group,he found himself staring at the smaller male who usually smiled at everyone and was full of life...today he looked ...fragile.
""Hobi's right Jimin...you look worn out already..."
Jimin was surprised Jungkook noticed anything about him...he seemed to be happiest around Tae or Namjoon ..
"Don't worry guys I won't let any of you down,I need to tone up so I look ok in our outfits..Nothing worse than a fat idol...."
"Jimin I told you not to take those stupid comments to heart...there's always some weirdo making an obnoxious commment." Jin said sharply.
Jimin stopped and said with seriousness " no Jin they are right,yes comments are made but its'sunshine Hobi,golden maknae jungkook ,handsome Jin,beloved Tae,great leader Namjoon and Yoongi marry me.......,me ...? I'm the pudgy short one...who doesn't look like an idol so how did I get over that other than try to do better?"He took a shaky breath," Im aware of these failings so I'm trying to correct them..get fitter,watch my diet....I want to fit in!"
At his outburst the others looked astonished.Jimin was normally quiet,helpful and caring to the others,they didn't realise he'd been struggling with these thoughts.
"Jimin I didn't realise you took this so much to heart,those comments were some time  back you've been losing weight unnecessarily,it was puppyfat back then!you've grown into the body you have which to be honest is getting quite skinny and you have never let us down,you practice so hard you put some of us to shame." Namjoon said seriously
Jimin looked at their leader looking for any signs he was lying but only saw truth and concern there.
"Well...thank you....I suppose I could ease of a little...I just remember how many times I nearly didn't make it through so I feel I should practice more"
He felt a hand on his shoulder and knew by the tingle that went through him that it was Jungkook.
"Hey short stuff after all these years I think you've proved yourself,give yourself a break...you've grown up fine...at least you don't annoy me all the time now like you used too!"
Jimin felt pained but smiled falsely " hey brat don't call me short!yer I think I got you were annoyed when you shoved me against the wall...you forget how strong you are!"
"Kook how come you pushed my friend?"
"Tae it was years ago....I was obviously annoying him with it,but we know where we stand now right Kookie?"
Jungkook looked at the male remembering how he used to get embaressed by the touchiness of the other and the way Jimin had always hung around him,but now he realised Jimin had if anything  shut himself off from both him and Tae,
Jimin felt uncomfortable with everyone's eyes on him,he hadn't meant to blow up but lack of sleep and then passing out at the gym earlier had shaken him.
"Come on aren't we here to practice?" He grinned earning groans from the others.
They practised their new routine,laughing as Jin and Namjoon crashed into each other.
Jimin and Hobi showed them the move again patiently working it out while the others lounged against the walls watching.
"Did you two know Jimin felt like that?" Suga murmured.
Tae turned to him..." no he's never really said,"
"Aren't you his best friend?"
"He's well I suppose all of us are leading busy lives since we moved from the dorm to our own places."
"He's great at keeping the attention of himself  isn't he?"
"What do you mean?" Jungkook asked
"Well you three always used to hang out didn't you? Have you seen his place?"
"Well.....no...he never invites anyone..."
"I've seen it ,it's minimal to say the least looks barely lived in."
"How come you've seen it?"
"Jimin dropped his wallet in the cloakroom I thought I'd take it over so he wouldn't worry and he invited me in."
"I'm gonna ask why he's not invited me!" Tae sulkily said
"No what you should ask yourselves is why you haven't bothered to go over yourself...he got everyone of us a housewarming gift brought it over personally yet did we reciprocate ? I sent flowers,yet I knew he chose each gift personally,I admit I feel annoyed at myself after his earlier display,we call him our friend but we never put paid to the nasty comments and he's carried that alone all these years.I remember how desperate he was to be part of the group,how he spoilt us with food even though he barely had money he cared about us,but then he stepped back after you pushed him away Kook,it's like he went from happy and loud to shy and reserved or maybe he was always that way and only was loud because he so desperately wanted to fit in....I don't know but I feel like we have let him down."
They all looked to the small figure who was trying his hardest to get Namjoon to coordinate his limbs and then when he did clapped loudly praising him as if he had won a medal.
The studio room door opened and a senior staff member came in.
"Jimin can I have a word?"
Jimin looked up nervously and walked out of the room with him.
Jungkook decided to go to the bathroom just then and went out down the hall about to go into the bathroom he stopped when he heard raised voices in a nearby room.
"Jimin you're hurting yourself! You can't keep on like this you passed out for gods sake  and it's not the first time from what I hear!"
"I was just a little dizzy..."
"You were out for five minutes  the staff said !"
"Look I will do better"
"I know you are a perfectionist but over exerting yourself will damage your health...I've a good mind to ban the gym and put you on two day hiatus .!"
"No...no,what will the others think,I don't want them worrying about me ruining anything !"
"Don't be silly,of course they will be concerned about your health too!"
"But I don't want to be a point of discussion, they are all so good I don't want to bring them down ,you remember how irritated Jungkook got when I played up to the fans shipping us...I don't want to find myself in that place again where I thought doing as the fans wanted was how it was supposed to be,I didn't realise how absurd it looked for someone like me to chase after 'the golden maknae' especially when it's so obvious he likes being around Tae..." Jimin gave a self depreciating laugh..." so please can we just forget this I promise I'll be more careful?"
The staff member sighed ," ok but if I hear again that you're not looking after yourself I will clamp down on?"
"Your the best,I better get back,erm can I just say you needed me to rebook an outfit fitting?"
"Sure...our secret...for now..."
Jungkook hurried forward to the bathroom before either saw him,worried with what he'd heard.
He had been a bit of a jerk pushing Jimin away but he wasn't a demonstrative person and Jimin...well he'd been clingy...he hadn't meant to harm him or make him think he wasn't good enough,hell they had been very cloistered through their earlier years,trying to figure out this new life and the rules that went along with it,but now he had to admit,he couldn't remember the last time he and Jimin had just hung out and what did he mean it was obvious he liked Tae better?Tae was his partner in crime the one who like him didn't mind bending the rules...yes before the three of them had pranked the others then it changed,Jimin hung back,didn't get involved,he'd thought the other was just maturing.....well had he,or had he just taken him for granted...?
He left the bathroom walking along the corridor seeing the same staff member who had spoken to jimin . He stopped in front of him.
"Is everything ok with Jimin?"
The staff member looked wary,
"Jimin...why do you ask?"
"Well didn't you call him out?""oh right,yes er just a fitting mix up,no big deal...excuse me."
The man left and Jungkook walked back in to a peel of laughter.
"Jin..no,your left not mine!" Jimin giggled
Jungkook realised he liked the sound of Jimin's laughter and his face .....his eyes almost closed completely when he laughed.
"Cute..." he murmured
"What's that Kook?"Hobi asked
"I said Jiminshi looks cute when he laughs," the maknae said staring at Jimin.
Jimin blushed and hid his face making the rest laugh.
"Aw Jimin are you shy,we should call you cute,sexy Jimin," Tae laughed
"Tae Tae ,cute I'll allow but sexy? Come on when there's you and Jin around?!?!"
Laughter again but Jungkook found himself staring at the smaller male,he was sexy...the way he stood,the elegance of his moves and that ass....! He shook himself since when had he started noticing others arses? He felt a heat in his crotch and had to turn away and reach for some water to sort himself out.
"I think that's enough practice,I'm meeting a friend in an hour." Hobi said packing away his stuff.
"I have to plan our interview out for tomorrow," Namjoon groaned.
"I am going to the studio to overlay some tracks," Suga said leaving the room with a spring in his step.
Jimin was in the corner fiddling with his bag.
"How about we go to a cafe get some grilled pork?" Jin said looking at the others.
"We are in!" Tae and Jungkook said
"Jimin?"
"What...oh erm it's ok,you go enjoy yourselves,"
Jin frowned and Jungkook....
"Nope you're coming with us,I insist when did we last hang out?"
Tae and Jin nodded enthusiastically,Jimin stared and bit his bottom lip in thought,Jungkooks eyes followed the movement and he wanted to tell him not to do it it was...sexy,but instead," come on Jimin don't leave us hanging!"
"Oh....ok I'll come...thank you," he gave a beaming genuine smile then picked his bag up and walked over,
"Im ready..."
The three left putting their bags in the boot of Jungkooks car and getting in.
"Let's go have fun boys!" Jungkook yelled and was rewarded by another sweet giggle from Jimin.