Hold back the love

The show

Jimin paced back and forth nervously,the group had just finished their part and he was waiting backstage to go on with  Taemin for their performance.
A hand appeared on his shoulder.
"Jimin you'll be fine you know this of by heart," jungkook said
"What if I go wrong? What if I lack in my performance it would look bad on Taemin too?"
"Calm down....if I had my way it would have been cancelled you've been so on edge this past week."
"Well if it annoyed you then you shouldn't have followed me around !"
Jungkook swung him to face him," enough! Why do you always try to push me away?it's as if you want this relationship to fail?"
Already on edge Jimin spoke without thinking,
"Well it's not like it's real you're trying something new with the gay boy and justifying it by saying it's a relationship I'm well aware it won't be permanent!"
Jungkook stepped back staring at the other he shook his head.
"You're right how can it be permanent when you selfishly sabotage it.....you're scared like a little kid to be in a real relationship so you stop it before it goes further...well thanks for making me realise how juvenile you are....." jungkook turned storming off.
Jimins heart was thumping rapidly the others words spinning in his head.
"Ready Jimin let's do this...." Taemin spoke from his side and he nodded blindly.
His performance was done on auto pilot,Jungkook was right he did know the routine ...as he finished he glanced at where his group sat and saw no Jungkook.
Walking off he stumbled in the wings dropping to the floor.
Staff helped him up thinking he was exhausted from the performance but in reality it hit him just what he had done.....he knew for certain Jungkook was finished with him...all because he didn't have the courage to try properly.
He sat in a waiting area the rest of the group coming over to talk and wait for their rides home.
"Kook went early said he had a headache " Tae said.
Jimin tried to nod and act normal.
Staff came to tell them their rides were here and Jimin saw he had the driver who usually picked him and Jungkook up lately...he gave a faint sigh of relief as he got in the car...at least he could go to Jungkooks and apologise.
"Good performance Jimin?"
"Yes,though I'm tired now,"
"Probably be good to sleep in your own home now eh?"
"Hmmm?"
"Jungkook got me to put your stuff in the car so you didn't have to make two trips..."
"My stuff....."
"Yes,he said you'll be glad to get back to your place without a nursemaid! Funny boy!!"
Jimin bit the inside of his lip,so that was it then,he'd fucked up the only chance he would have with the love of his life.Stunned he heard the words in his head,LOVE OF HIS LIFE.......you're so stupid Jimin all because you didn't have the courage he had.At least he acknowledged his feelings,how many times had he told Jimin it was real?!?!?!
The driver helped Jimin in with his luggage. After he left Jimin looked around the place he called home realising what an empty shell of a place it really was.
He unpacked his stuff looked in the fridge saw it was empty and just went to his room laying on his bed.
He was glad they had a few days off he didn't think he could talk to anyone.
Suddenly sitting up he grabbed his case again throwing bits in. He took his case and got in his car driving off despite it being late at night,he drove to the one place that would make him happy despite the long drive it would take to get him there.
Jungkook drank down the alcohol feeling it burn.How could he?How could he just give up like he had?hadn't any of the time they had spent together meant anything to him?
He knew he had been hasty in sending Jimin's stuff back but wasn't he within his rights  Jimin had thrown his love back in his face.....wait....love....he loved Jimin,that's why he felt so angry and upset ,damn he knew he had feelings for the other...jealous when others came near,always wanting to be by his side,looking for him when he wasn't in sight,accompanying him to his solo dance practices and all the times they were in bed adoring his body and showing him what he was to him.
"I love Park Jimin!" He said out aloud.
Putting down the unfinished drink he grabbed his car keys,this wasn't over he would go right now and show him they were meant to be together!.
He drove over quickly getting to Jimins place in no time and ringing the doorbell.when there was no answer Jungkook tapped in the code...he wasn't going to let Jimin hide from him!
It was dark inside and he frowned switching on lights.
"Jimin?...come on we need to talk........ "
going into Jimins room he saw drawers and closets open and empty hangers.
"Damn it Jimin what have you done!"
He tried Jimins phone but it was switched off. He went back to his car looking around,Jimins car was gone.
"Where the fuck are you Jimin!"
He drove back to his own place trying Jimins phone over and over.
At some point he drifted off on his sofa his hand still clutching his phone.
A noise woke him...his phone was ringing,looking down he saw it was Jimin and quickly answered,
"Jimin where..."
"Kookie......isn't life hard......it doesn't go smoothly or how you think right?" Jimin's voice slurred
"Jimin are you drinking?"
"Mmmmhhhm.......it makes things better,"
"Where are you Jimin?"
"Ooooh sneaky......I can't tell you....but I'm in my happy place(giggle)"
"Jimin I'll come get you..."
"Nooooo...I know you're mad......I'm a bad boyfriend....thats why you dumped me......."
"Jimin I'm not mad we should talk...I'll come to you tell me where you are."
"Can't ....this is the bestest place ever...I was happy here when you liked me...it's a bit spooky on my own maybe I should get back in my car."
"Do not drive Jimin!"
"I'm tired....I should sleep in my car.....I ruined it didn't I.....all this time I loved you but I messed it up big time ....I thought you liked Tae......I tried to stay away ....you brought me here and it all changed.....but I didn't believe you.....I was waiting for you to throw me away....I'm not good enough for you Kookie....I don't blame you......gosh it's cold have another sip Jimin it will warm you up(giggling)....you were right Kookie I knew the dance routine......your always right........I'm so useless.....wow look at the stars.....I should make a wish I......."
The call stopped as if Jimin's phone went dead...Jungkook was frantic,where was he,what could happen to him in that state?
Wait what had he said...he went over Jimins words" you brought me here"" my happy place"
He dashed to put some clothes in a bag and hurried to his car certain he knew where Jimin was,their holiday place,he remembered Jimin loved it there.
The roads weren't busy because of the late hour,he put his foot down on the empty roads stopping at a garage for a quick coffee to wake him up a bit.
He made good time and got to their place at four thirty in the morning.
He saw Jimin's car parked on the street near the place they had stayed and jumping out of his car ran to it pulling the door open.
It was unlocked but no Jimin. Was he in one of the lodges ?why was the car open!
He looked around tiredly brushing his hair back that's when his eyes caught sight of something on the beach,squinting he frowned then realised and ran quickly .
"Fuck Jimin!!"
Jimin was huddled in a ball on the damp sand empty bottles around him.
Jungkook held his hand it was cold.
"You stupid boy!"
He threw the empty bottles in a nearby bag picking them and Jimin up.
He carried Jimin to his warm car putting him inside while he threw the rubbish away in a nearby bin.
Wondering where he should go he saw the lodge sign switch on saying vacancies .
He licked Jimin's car after taking his case then drove to reception where a yawning old lady sat.
"Oh my goodness your early!"
"Er yes I just saw your sign is there an empty cabin?"
"Yes third one along here's the key how long for?"
"Er two or three days?"
The woman processed his card and he quickly got back in the car driving it the short distance to the lodge.
He unlocked it taking their bags inside before coming to carry Jimin.
Once inside he felt Jimin shake with cold.
"Jimin...Jimin baby wake up you need to get these damp clothes off."
Jimins eyes fluttered open.." Kookie ...?"
His face paled suddenly and he pulled from Jungkooks arms..." bathroom...!"
Stumbling over to it he just made it to the toilet and was violently sick.
Jungkook came and squatted by him as he wretched until nothing more came up.
Jungkook took him to the sink so he could clean his teeth.
"Come on take these damp clothes off,"
Jimin obeyed too cold and tired to do anything else.
Jungkook had run a bath and he stepped in sinking down crying out as warmth seeped into his bones .
In silence Jungkook washed his hair and washed him down as if he was a child.
"Out you get...."
"I'm sorry if you worried...I didn't mean you to drive here."
"Let's talk later,we are both tired so we should sleep."
Jungkook unpacked Jimin's bag handing him some warm sweats and a t shirt .
When Jimin was dressed he put him into bed then used the fascilities himself before coming out and sliding naked into bed.
He spooned against Jimin his heat warming the other up and soon he could hear Jimin's breaths as he fell into a deep sleep.
Jungkook lay tense for a while as all sorts of things went through his head,Jimin could have been attacked,or hurt in some way,become ill from the cold or hod forbid drowned if the tide had come in.
A moan made him realise he had gripped the other tightly while thinking so he loosened his grip.
Jimin turned in his sleep and curled into him his head on Jungkooks chest his little hands holding onto him.
"Don't worry baby,I'm not letting you go again,"
As if Jimin had heard in his sleep he sighed contentedly nuzzling against the other .
Sheer tiredness made Jungkook eventually fall asleep but his hold on Jimin never faltered the whole night.