Scars That Mend - Kiribaku Emergency Services AU

Afraid of Falling

I glared at my bare chest as I looked at myself in the mirror, a plaid shirt clutched in my left hand. The skin there was mottled with scars - some newer, some older. I gently raised my right hand, twisting to drag a faint line across the darkened skin of the oldest scar. It was shiny and smooth to touch, as well as hairless in places. The colour ranged from silvery in places to deep red and warm brown in others, spreading from just below my armpit to above my hip, stretching horizontally over my body to reach just shy of the centre-line of my chest. 

I could barely feel my finger brush the skin, and raising my arm tugged on the tight scarred tissue with tension but not discomfort. I let my arm fall slack, sighing as I shrugged on the shirt and stared at the disappearing reminder as I fastened the buttons.

A few weeks had passed, and it was my first day of leave. I'd arranged to visit my Mom on the first day, wanting to get the confrontation out of the way as quickly as possible, so not to spoil the rest of my time off. I was supposed to be seeing Katsuki, after all - on the following day, no less. I didn't want to be anxious about the conversation with my Mom when I was supposed to be having fun with him. 

I checked the time; nine-AM. It was a two hour drive to where my Mom lived. She'd moved out to the coast a few years back, following an attractive job offer. I didn't mind too much; I could visit her frequently, and her house was right on the seafront. I let myself out of the apartment and locked up, dragging my overnight case behind me as I hopped in the elevator. I didn't plan on staying, but she liked to keep me overnight if she could, so I'd eventually learned to come prepared. 

The drive felt longer than usual. I'd spent most of my time on the highway drumming my fingers on the steering wheel, hyper-focused on every signpost and billboard. The anxiety crept in as I grew closer to the small coastal town, taking the exit as directed by the GPS. Another ten minutes passed and I was pulling up to my Mom's cottage, parking my old car in the designated parking spot. I grabbed my case and locked up, letting myself into the house with my spare key and removing my shoes.

"Mom?" I called into the house. "I'm here."

There was a slight scuffle from the kitchen, then my mother appeared, her auburn hair scattered with white perfectly swept back into a neat bun. She wore an apron, and her small hands were sudsy. 

"Eijiro." She mumbled, giving me a half-hearted smile. "Go make yourself comfortable in the lounge. I'll be right in."

I rolled my eyes as she disappeared. She was never 'right in' - especially if she was doing chores. She was a bit of a neat freak, and obsessed over cleaning since she had few other hobbies. I guess I'd learned that from her. I sat down on the couch, leaning back into the cushions as I waited for my mother to finish what she was doing.

It was about thirty minutes before the auburn-haired woman reappeared, straightening out her cardigan and sitting carefully on the edge of the opposite couch. Her garnet eyes didn't soften as she smiled gently at me, folding her hands neatly in her lap.

To an outsider, she looked like a perfectly lovely mother. Kind, gentle, attentive, caring...and I'd believed it for most of my life. Only after the incident did I start to question her behaviour. I knew it wasn't completely her fault that she acted the way she did - she refused to acknowledge it but I'd always known she struggled with mental illness. OCD, depression...I wasn't a psychologist, but the signs were there. 

"How have you been?" The woman asked eventually in a calm voice, her dark eyelashes fluttering. "It's been a while since you visited."

"I'm fine." I huffed. I could feel the anxiety bubbling up; I'd been agonising over the reason for my visit during the entire car ride over. "Work is good - I'm off active duties right now after I had an injury-"