Scars That Mend - Kiribaku Emergency Services AU

Broken Pottery

The days before Friday dragged on as I continued to be on light-duties. Aizawa hadn't budged an inch and insisted I wasn't ready for active duties yet, regardless of how careful I was about safety. I knew it was never going to be a simple matter of proving I could wear the right gear; his problem was my inability to think about myself when there were people in danger. That, unfortunately, wasn't so easily fixed. 

Nevertheless, I made it through the week and spent my Thursday off doing the usual: working out at the gym, shopping for groceries, and cleaning the apartment. I finished my chores by 2pm and it was a gorgeous day, so I decided to head out for an afternoon walk in the nearby park. 

The afternoon sun was warm on my freckled shoulders as I meandered through the local park, pausing by the pond to take a breather. I perched on the wooden bench, watching as the water rippled with the gentle breeze. I couldn't remember a day when I'd felt so at peace, and yet...there was an emptiness inside me that I couldn't quite shake. Loneliness, a small voice said. 

I sighed. Loneliness was a common problem for me. My friends were all colleagues - so our days off together were few and far between - or other they were first responders. It was rare that I ever got to spend time with people outside of work. Even when Camie and I had dated, we'd barely spent quality time together because of our demanding jobs - which was just one of the reasons we didn't work out. 

The other being...I was clearly gay.

It was as if the kiss with Katsuki had suddenly brought everything into perspective. My lack of sexual drive; my lacklustre compliments; the need for intense, long sessions of foreplay to get me in the mood. Everything had pointed to me not being attracted to women. Perhaps I'd always been gay - it was something people usually figured out in high school or college, right? Losing those memories...I'd just assumed I was straight. 

A thought struck me like a bolt of electricity through my chest.

Did I have a boyfriend in high school? 

I thought back to the varsity jacket - the memory trickled back, less vivid than it had been that night, but still visible. That boy - '04' - we'd swapped jackets. I didn't know much when it came to high school traditions, but was that something friends would do? Or had he been...more than a friend?

I felt an ache in my chest when I realised I'd probably never know the answer to that question.

I felt like a broken piece of pottery. I'd spent eight years trying to put myself back together, but without the missing pieces I only ended up falling apart again. The pieces left were jagged and hurt anyone who got too close. Every time I tried to fill the gaps with something new, it just wouldn't stick. People who knew about my past looked at me like a victim, and people who didn't know...well, somehow they eventually realised I was only worth their pity. I'd even caught Denki and the others giving me a strange, sad look on occasion. 

No matter what I did, nothing changed. 

I felt like I'd been in a time loop; my life fell apart and suddenly everything had stopped. 

I chewed my lip as I stared at the water, so lost in my own thoughts that I barely noticed someone sit down beside me at the pond. When I eventually caught sight of the red hair to the right of me, I jumped slightly, attracting their attention.

He spun to face me, revealing split-tone hair and heterochromatic eyes - and a slight scar on the left side of his face. 

"Sorry." He said solemnly, blinking several times. "I should have asked if I could sit here."

"O-oh, it's no problem." I laughed awkwardly, unable to tear my eyes from the scarring around his azure left eye. I knew by the dimpling and irregular discolouration that it was a burn scar; I had enough of them to recognise one right away.