𝙁𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝘿𝙖𝙩𝙚 || 𝙨𝙤𝙤𝙣𝙝𝙤𝙤𝙣

15. Fool for a Reason

A/N:

Surprise!!!🥳

Jihoon

They say you're a fool when you already know the outcome but still waiting for it to change on its own and I guess I'm that fool. Is it selfish of me to hope that maybe it won't be the last time I'll be seeing him? Well, I guess yes.

I feel like my whole world is crumbling down little by little as the car is approaching the PLEDIS. My palms are sweaty while my throat feels dry as desert. The clutching feeling inside my stomach is killing me which I can't defer if it's fear of never seeing him or is it just my imagination all along.

But the only thing I am certain of is that I'm a coward. I can only watch him, fading away from my side and do nothing and no matter how much I want to protest, it is the truth.I wish I at least have a bit more time to gather my thoughts before I arrive but here we are, just across the main entrance of PLEDIS.

"Here it is"

I quip, looking at his face for the last time. But to be honest, I have this feeling I'll never get tired of seeing that beautiful face of his. Is it weird? 'Definitely weird' I remind for the last time as I unbuckle myself.

"The day passed by way too early, don't you agree?" Soonyoung sighs with a little pout adoring his lips while his cheeks are puffed out so cutely that I wanna kiss that pout away myself. I wish I can tell him that.

'My thoughts are surprising me lately'

"It did," I played along, putting on a professional smile that I have mastered after dealing with a bunch of old geezers but maybe it can help me today when I desperately don't wanna give myself away, "since the day was crazy."

"Are you sure you aren't telling me that just to entertain me? Cause you don't seem happy at all," he asks, coming closer to my face. I can smell the woody scent of his deodorant along with a musky layering that makes my head spin, but in a good way. I know the exact name of the base of this wooden layer but I can't exactly put my head round it which is making me more restless than it should.

'Too close!!'

I wanna scream but my mind and heart aren't allying as my words get jumbled up in the back of my throat, not to mention how it is my first time seeing someone who can actually see through my facade other than my brother. Should I be afraid? I should. But my inner self is screaming at me for even thinking that.

"Jihoonie?"

'Get a grip!'

"S-sorry, I was just zoning out," I awkwardly chuckle, not knowing what else to do. "I should go now," I quickly add, grabbing my phone before I open the door. 'That's all you could think of all things! Really, Jihoon!' I wanna hit myself with a brick but I guess it was already too late as I was standing outside of the car, on my way to close the door. To be precise, slam the door on my face since It. Is. My. Mistake.

"I'm afraid this is it," I mutter to myself, before looking up at his face only to see him sadly looking at me. Is he sad because of me? I guess not since his lips curves up into a smile. But that doesn't make me happy since his smile doesn't reach his eyes. But who am I to say? I am no one and it is the truth.

"I'll get going then," I speak , already on my way to close it until I remember something, making myself halt before looking into his eyes for the last time only to find his longing gaze stuck on me. Oh, how I wish it to last longer!

"You know," I trail. He seems like he wants to say something but stopped when I started and I take this as my opportunity to speak. "It seemed like you didn't believe me when I told Minghao that you have listened to my music. But trust me you did," I say with a genuine smile. I see him mutter something under his breath which seem like 'I know' but it can't be, can it?

I reluctantly brush the thought away as I smile for the last time before closing the door and walking away. But why does it feel like my world is crumbling? Why does it feel like a part of me is missing? And why I feel like crying my heart out?

'Does liking someone always hurt this bad?'

I am already in the campus, halfway to my department building, but why do I still wish him to come after me and tell me, "It isn't the last time we'll meet". I am pathetic, ain't I?

*drip*

.
.
.

*drip*

I look up to see it's drizzling. The freezing, lazy droplets are burning my skin, leaving the cold sensation linger against my skin. The winter isn't long.I don't bother myself to take shelter from the droplets. I can run to the closest building but I decide to lazily drag myself, letting my skin burn, soaking my eyes in pure bliss, ignoring the eyes that are looking in my way as if I have gone crazy.

I don't know anything anymore. Maybe I have gone crazy. I can't think anymore. My head feels heavy so are my eyelids. They both have gone numb in the cold. Otherwise why would I hear my name being screamed distinctly and I know it isn't just a mere voice that is calling me. It is Soonyoung's voice. I know the pitch of the voice, beautiful yet raspy, melodic yet deep. I know how it sounds when he says "Jihoonie". I know.

'But it hurts when your mind makes things up on its own'

I am taken back when a hand suddenly pulls me, making me stumble on my feet until I notice whom the hand belongs to that is tugging my hand, pulling me toward the nearest building. This back is too familiar to me and I've this feeling I'll never forget it, not even in my wildest dreams.

"Soon-young?"

They say you're a fool when you already know the outcome but still waiting for it to change on its own and I guess I'm that fool. Then maybe I'm a fool.

'But a fool for a reason'