𝙁𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝘿𝙖𝙩𝙚 || 𝙨𝙤𝙤𝙣𝙝𝙤𝙤𝙣

31. Swirling emotion over a cup of hot chocolate

Jihoon

"Here," I say softly as I offer him a dry towel. He takes it without uttering a single word, yet his heated gaze remains fixed on me, tracking my every move with an intensity that makes the air around us feel charged with unspoken emotions. It's as if he's cautiously testing the water by dipping his toes in before fully immersing himself.

It has been like this ever since I saw him standing downstairs in my apartment complex. He hasn't uttered a single word or moved a muscle until I eventually coaxed him to follow me upstairs.It's incredibly frustrating to witness him in this state—consumed by guilt and regrets—when the person I know is always lively and talkative, barely able to keep quiet for even a moment, with a dazzling smile constantly lighting up his face as he speaks.

Frustrated, I run my fingers through my damp locks, trying to find a moment of clarity. "Sit wherever you want until I come back," I say, my voice tinged with irritation. "And if you dare to leave by the time I walk back in here, I'll hunt you down to death," I continue, my eyes narrowing to emphasize as I point my finger at him with a stern expression, stepping towards him until his back hit the couch. Then, without a second thought, I spin on my heel, leaving him flabbergasted and speechless. A sense of pride washes over me as I confidently jog towards my room, quickly shedding all my clothes before stepping into the comforting warmth of a hot shower. I really can't afford to fall ill at this critical time, especially with my exams looming right around the corner.

By the time I return to the living room, Soonyoung has managed to shed his damp jacket, which I notice now hanging on the hanger by the shoe rack. His hair, no longer looking as wet and unruly as before, appears quite tamed as he sits on the couch. The way his leg is restless, hopping up and down, makes it clear how nervous he feels being here. With his back turned towards me, I have the perfect opportunity to observe him without being detected and, without realizing it, a soft smile creeps across my lips.

I head to the kitchen, carefully balancing two steaming mugs of hot chocolate in both of my hands. As I place them gently on the coffee table, my attention is caught by a small, unmarked paper bag already resting there—something I definitely hadn't left.I then make my way to the couch and sit down beside him, my eyes searching his face, but he keeps his gaze fixed downward as if avoiding any connection.

"Soonyoung," I finally say, my voice tinged with exasperation as I rub my temples in a futile attempt to relieve the tension. Taking a tentative sip of the hot chocolate, I find it's still too hot to drink. Keeping my tone as casual as possible, I ask, "If you aren't going to talk, then why are you here?" His sudden movement catches me off guard; he lifts his head, and when our eyes meet, I'm rendered speechless. The intensity of his gaze sends a shiver down my spine, making the hairs on my skin prickle beneath the thick fabric of my sweatshirt.

"I'm sorry," he whispers softly, his gaze unwaveringly fixed on me.I can't help but think that perhaps I shouldn't have sat so close to him, because all I can focus on now is the way his lips move with every syllable. My instincts are screaming at me to lean in and capture those lips with mine. I feel as if I'm going crazy—my mind is shouting at me to control my erratic thoughts. Yet, this guy in front of me seems completely oblivious to my inner turmoil. He leans even closer, leaving me no room to retreat. "I really am sorry, Ji," he breathes, his minty breath washing over me and causing my mind to quite literally short-circuit.

"Wh-what are you talking about?" I stammer, quickly averting my gaze and shutting my eyes in an attempt to calm my nerves as I bring the steaming cup of hot chocolate to my lips. Nervously, I take a cautious sip, feeling the warmth spread through me, my fingers gripping the mug as though it's a lifeline. "If anything, it's me who should be sorry.I had something important to take care of, so I didn't have the time to talk to you," I lie effortlessly, surprising even myself as I moisten my lips, trying to maintain composure.

"Can you not lie?" His voice is low and dangerous as the words roll off his lips, compelling me to meet his gaze, his eyes burning with a mix of anger and disappointment. "At least not to me," he finishes through gritted teeth. "I—I ain't," I stammer, unable to find my voice under his piercing eyes. "You are, Jihoonie," he argues back, more calmly this time, the nickname slipping from his tongue with such ease that it sends a shiver down my spine, the sensation alone nearly coaxing a moan from my lips.

I duck my head low as he leans back onto the couch, allowing himself to finally relax for the first time since he's arrived here. "All this drama is just getting into my head," he murmurs softly, licking his lips one last time before closing his eyes, his sharp features becoming more pronounced. I blink a few times before averting my gaze from his, sipping on my hot chocolate, which is no longer steaming but still pleasantly warm enough to drink. Meanwhile, his own cup, resting untouched on the coffee table, serves as a constant reminder of his presence beside me. Our thighs are just barely touching, a subtle contact that’s enough to send a shiver through me, making me acutely aware of every movement and breath in the shared space.

"Jihoonie," his hoarse voice jolts me out of my thoughts. I quickly look away from his thigh and up into his eyes, a faint blush creeping up to my neck. He straightens himself, his eyes locking with mine. "I have something to tell you about this whole ex thing of mine," he begins. "Riha isn't someone I ever liked, I mean romantically."

His words catch me off guard. He can't be serious, can he? I involuntarily lean away from him, and I can see the look of hurt in his eyes, which immediately makes me feel guilty. "I get it, she's your ex, but you can't say you dated someone and didn't like them. Do you know how disrespectful you're being?" I lash out, my voice shaking with frustration. It's hard for me to imagine liking someone who doesn't respect others. No, I can't like him.

He bites his lips as if trying to come up with an excuse to defend himself, and I know I can't let him. "If that's what you want to talk about, please leave my apartment," I say, standing up and pointing my finger towards the exit. My rage has taken over me, and I feel my vision blur, fearing I might break down right in front of him.

He steps closer, "Jihoonie, calm down," he says softly, reaching out and bringing me within arm's length. My tears start to spill uncontrollably down my cheeks. He swiftly pulls me into a tight embrace, gently patting my back as soft sniffles escape my lips. I can't seem to stop the flood of emotions as I bury my face in his baby blue woolen sweater. Despite my overwhelming desire to push him away, make him leave my apartment, and never see his face again, I just can't bring myself to do it.

"Jihoonie, listen to me," he murmurs softly, his fingers gently stroking my back, the tender gesture bringing a strange mixture of comfort and anguish. The nickname only makes me cry harder, each syllable digging into my heart. "I know you think I'm the bad guy, well, everyone does," he continues, his voice holding a sorrow so profound that I can't help but give him my full attention. His fresh cologne fills my nostrils, bringing an unexpected sense of calm amid the storm of emotions swirling within me.

"But you're the first one I want to tell my side of the story," he continues, and though I can't see his face, I'm certain there's a sad smile playing on his lips as he speaks.My fists tighten around the soft, comforting fabric of his baby blue woolen sweater, and I bury my nose deeper into his warmth, unwilling to face the smile that surely will bring heartache to me.

But what he says next surprises me, and I pull away from his comforting embrace to see his face, my heart pounding. I'm sure the eyes I'm seeing aren't lying either. "Riha and I never dated, Jihoonie. We were never exes," he says with a sincerity that makes my breath catch, and a flood of emotions rushes through me, making me question everything I thought I knew.