Forget me not (Connor Stoll)

Monster

Lily's pov

The moment I stepped out of Camp Half Blood, tears automatically started running.

Tears that I had kept hidden for way too long, tears that showed all of my suffering and my deepest scars, tears that held my fear for this depressive quest.

I tried to look up at the sky, since it usually calms me, but it just made me feel even worse and more nostalgic of Camp.

As you know, Camp had magical barriers, and the night sky at Camp had been so beautiful, every star visible and brilliant, each with a different story to tell; but of course, outside of Camp that masterpiece was gone, replaced by clouds and smog from the highway.

The moon didn't shine as bright, the stars didn't hold century-long stories, and even the forest looked empty, stripped of all its life and secrets.

Damn, even I felt empty. 

I guess that's the opposite of how someone should feel while leaving for a quest.

They should feel thrilled, adrenaline in their veins; but no, I was the opposite.

As always.

I guess my melancholy didn't rub off on Percy and Connor, since the moment I turned around, all I heard was loud laughter and Percy almost falling several times because he was out of breath from some stupid joke Connor made about Thalia's tree.

It makes sense that Percy doesn't look one bit nervous, I mean he's Perseus Jackson, for him this quest is a joke compared to all hid other ones.

He looks calm as always, a smile on his face and his eyes glowed green in the night.

There was a hint of sadness still in his eyes, something Piper had taught me to find; it was love.

Percy missed Annabeth already probably, since he kept on opening his wallet and looking at her picture he had hidden in there.

My gaze shifted from Percy to Connor, who was too busy trying to scare Percy to notice the way my eyes were glued to his.

He looked flawless tonight.

The top of his hair was shining, capturing that tiny bit of moonlight.

His eyes were bright, filled with anticipation, and his smile was brighter than all stars at Camp.

Instead of helping me though, this all just reminded me of the night me and Connor spent at Camp looking at the stars and laughing.

It all feels so distant now, as if it never really happened in the first place.

But I KNOW it did, and I don't care how many times my mind will try to make me forget, I will remember it.

But, oh well, he's with Drew now, and I don't wanna have problems with her.

I get lost in my thoughts once again, until I see both Percy and Connor staring right at me.

"What?" I say, abruptly, my eyes going straight to Connor's.

"Oh good she's not asleep" says Percy, going back to staring at Annabeth's picture.

"Um,yeah yeah sure" I manage to say, while Connor's eyes are still glued to mine, and a small smirk is appearing on his lips.

OH HELL NAH, I think, but all I can do is roll my eyes at him and keep on walking, catching up to Percy.

"You know he still likes you, right?" Percy says, as he lets out a small chuckle.

"Huh, he's with Drew, what are you talking about?" I say back, raising my eyebrow and stopping dead in my tracks.

"Ugh, Gods, you're more clueless than I was with Annabeth" he says, this time letting out a full on laugh.

He keeps on walking, leaving me behind, until Connor catches up to me.

"Hey since you're a daughter of Demeter, can you make weed?" he says, non-chalantly.

"UM WHAT" I say, maybe a bit too loud. "There is no way you just asked that so calmly".

He looks at me, confused, as if I  was the one who was acting weird. "It's just weed" he says, still looking a little too shocked, scrunching his eyebrows.

"Damn, so this is what hanging out with Drew does to someone" I murmur, huffing and walking away.

"What the fuck did you just say?" He says, walking right behind me.

"Ugh whatever, I don't wanna talk to you right now" 

"You can't insult my girlfriend, I know you're just jealous; I thought you were better than that Lily" he says, looking genuinely disappointed, grabbing my arm to make me look at him.

"WHY THE FUCK WOULD I BE JEALOUS OF HUH? YOU TWO SMOKING WEED TOGETHER AND ROTTING AWAY?" I fully yell, stomping my foot on the ground and pushing Connor off of me.

My stomp on the ground created a hole on the ground because of my powers, and vines started coming out of it, grabbing Connor.

He somehow escapes them and runs after me again.

"What the fuck Lily, what's wrong with you" he yells, pointing at me, pain in his eyes. "Is that what you think of me now" he says, his tone softer, and his eyes shiny with tears, his hand holding mine slightly.

" WHATS WRONG WITH ME? I SHOULD BE ASKING THAT TO YOU" I yell, and all of a sudden I find myself just yelling at Connor.

Connor Stoll, the boy I love.

I start walking away, but this time he doesn't walk after me, he just walks towards Percy.

I could clearly see the tears running on his cheeks even from far away, and I could faintly hear his sobs while he was hugging Percy, who just stared at me absolutely disgusted.

Even I was disgusted with myself.

Connor was completely right, what is wrong with me?

That night we put our tents up, and Percy obviously put mine further away from Connor's, giving him and his friend the best spot to sleep.

Safe to say, I didn't sleep a single minute that night, all I did was think of Connor.

What the fuck is wrong with me?