A Bullet to the Heart, ₗₑₑ Fₑₗᵢₓ

18.

⇝ ⇝ ⇝ A new day dawned. Mentally and physically, I felt like I had been in a deep sleep for more than a week. My eyes were swollen from crying last night. The rest of my body continued to ache and hurt since I opened my eyes. Regardless of the pain, I sat up on the couch, the blanket which was covering me last night was now sitting around my waist.

Slowly, I woke up properly. The light from the morning sun shone through the windows making me feel lighter. I could smell something, alongside the smell was a sizzling sound. I couldn't feel the threat from the sounds so I checked on my wounds before standing up. The wounds had bled through just slightly, but the blood was red. If my blood had come out purple or black, it meant I was dealing with an infection that could potentially kill me.

It's one less thing to worry about.

I slowly stood up, my knee in immense pain but there was nothing I could do so I stuck through it and walked to the sizzling sound. As I walked into my kitchen, I was taken aback by the sight that greeted me.

Felix was standing by the stove, his back turned towards me, and the smell of delicious food wafting through the air. My heart skipped a beat when I realized that it was the person I had been crushing on, he stayed the night. My heart beat loudly in my chest with the thought he had stayed just to watch over me. I wanted that to be the reason.

Watching him cook breakfast was such a warm and inviting moment, something that I never expected to witness. It was a simple yet intimate gesture that made me feel right at home. Even the bitter feeling of being in a new apartment with injuries wasn't enough to sour this sight.

I smiled, limped forward and hesitated, but eventually rested my hand on the bottom of his back. He jumped at the touch but calmed down as we locked eyes. I could put the smell to a source now - he was cooking bacon in a pan, eggs in another pan and toasting some toast.

"Is this for me?" I asked him, a small smile etched into my face.

"Of course," He replied, "You shouldn't be on your feet,"

"Thank you," I said to him, choosing to ignore his last comment.

I watched the sun paint the kitchen in streaks of light, and when Felix moved, his beauty was illuminating the room in my apartment and my heart. I had a sudden feeling surrounding my body, a desperate want to have him to myself. I've been struggling with a sense of insecurity lately, as I've found myself developing feelings for a man for the first time in my life. Initially, I was worried that this might be a strange or abnormal experience, but as I've spent more time with him, I've come to realize that it's a very natural and normal part of life to develop feelings for someone who you connect with on a deep level.

"Yongbok," I called out to him as he put together two bacon toasties with an egg in too.

"Yeah?"

I wanted to ask why he chose to stay the night here, but I knew he would probably answer with something that proved his complete innocence and kindness. He probably stayed to check I didn't die during the night because despite how taxing his job is on him, he would do anything for the people closest to him. He was cute like that. I decided to ask something else.

"Do you think I should retire?" I asked him and he frowned in thought.

"A part of me wants to scream yes right into your face because you got shot," He took a deep breath, "But this is your job, you're used to this and...what's my opinion to you anyway?"

I frowned at his clear attitude but I couldn't fault him. After the way we ended things, and the scare I gave him yesterday, he had every right to be angry with me. The thing we had between us had been balancing on rocks for a while and I had been selfish and scared. I do want to fix things, desperately. There are so many things I regret in my life, I don't want Felix to be one of them.