Repulsive Beauty || Hisoka

10. On Juxtaposition

I was scared to open my eyes, or to move, or to even breath. What if it was all a dream? Will he forgets that I exist, now that I've given him what he wanted? Most frighteningly, why did I care? I wasn't the girl that fell in love after a one night stand.

His arms were still around me, though we had shifted to spooning in the middle of the night. I let my fingers trace the definition of his muscles, relishing in his warm breath pouring over my shoulder. I wish I could look at his face, I'd love to see what he looks like while he's asleep. I can't imagine the word peaceful would ever come to mind when thinking of him, but if it was, it'd be while he slept. I don't want to move too drastically and wake him just to find out. I guessed it was probably 7am, by the light in the room. I'll just savor this moment while I have it.
"Are you not going to say good morning?~" he hummed in my ear.
Startled, I flinched before I could respond. I'd imagine that was his intention.
"I didn't know you were awake. I was trying to let you sleep"
His chest shook with a silent laugh.
"I've been awake for a while sweetheart. I didn't have the heart to disturb you."
His voice was still sleepy and had more rasp than usual; somehow even sexier than it's ever been. I stretched a bit and rolled to face him. His head was propped up on his hand, his hair even messier than the night before. Seeing him a little undone like this was a little jarring, compared to his usual composed self.
"Well. Good morning then Hisoka." I said while rubbing my eyes and face, trying to wake up.
"Good morning indeed. Though I am a little sad that I can't watch you sleep any longer, you looked so sweet." he said cupping my cheek in his hand, his eyes resting closed with a lazy smile.
I'd love to think that he really thinks I look sweet, and that he knows how intimate a moment like this is, but I don't think he does. It hurts to think his sweetness has nothing behind it. It hurts that it doesn't mean anything to him. That I don't mean anything to him. It's scary how literally over-night I've become reliant on his attention. I wonder if he had been cultivating that all this time.
"You look upset. Is my morning breath really that bad?" he joked, giving my cheek a pinch before slinking out of bed. "Keep it up and you'll get worry lines."
I was immediately cold with the lack of his touch.
"Gee, isn't your clown aesthetic just so perfectly fitting?" I moan.
I saw his shoulders shake with a laugh as he made his way to the bathroom. A few moments later I heard the shower turn on.
I needed some fresh air. I don't know what to think or how to proceed. I stepped out of bed, out the balcony door and made my way to the railing. It's unfathomably high, the 267th floor. At this point even some of the buildings look like ants.
I sat there bathing in the sun for I don't know how long. Nature really is so grounding. Though I'm not sure if it's fair to consider the balcony on the 267th floor of a building in York New City 'nature'.
Eventually I hear the door click open behind me.
"I'd thought you'd left when I didn't see you in my bed." he said, coming up behind me and holding the rail on either side of me, "I would have been a little offended"
I did consider just leaving as he was in the shower, but it felt rude after he's been so gracious.
"No," I leaned back on his chest, "didn't want to leave without saying thank you."
"What for? This has certainly been all my pleasure." he said with his chin propped on top of my head.
"Even so, I appreciate it. I think you've shown me much more kindness than I deserve fro-."
"Enough of that." he dismissed.
We sat in silence for a minute, enjoying the sun and the breeze.
"I should take you right here, over this railing sometime.~" he suggested, pushing me forward so I'm leaning over the edge a bit.
Not being a huge fan of heights, I reflexively pushed back against him and braced myself on the rial.
"Oh, afraid of heights, are we, princess?" he said leaning further forward to provoke me.
"Oh you know, I uh, don't prefer them" I stuttered still pushing against him, knees now shaking a little.
"Have you ever heard of exposure therapy?"
He wouldn't dare.
"His-"
But before I could finish he'd started lifting me by my hips.
"NO no no no" I pleaded, squirming like a child.
He put me right back down, but must have been pretty pleased with himself with how hard he was laughing.
I turned around probably looking as pissed as I felt.
"Dick." I said, pushing past him to get back inside.
But I knew he had seen the smile at the edge of my lips.
"Oh you WOUND me, princess. I was only teasing you.~" he said as he turned to follow me.
I huffed off the anxiety and flopped backwards on the bed, covering my eyes.
"I almost slapped you when I turned around. But I figured you might actually throw me off the edge if I did that." I admitted.
"Far from it, I would have just kept my word and fucked you over that railing. I really wish you would have.~"
I just shook my head. I should have known he'd get off on that.
I felt pressure on the bed on either side of my head, and uncovered my eyes. His face was hovering over mine, upside down, with a big smile and closed eyes. His hair was back to its usual slicked back style, and his cheeks adorned with their typical ornaments.
"I am sorry for scaring you, but only a little bit."
His lips landed on mine for only a brief peck before he was off the bed again.
"You're more than welcome to stay here and use the amenities, but I have a fight at noon and some business to take care of before then, so I'll be out."
"That's okay. I'm going to head back to mine and clean up." I felt sticky. I must have been sweating from how hot Hisoka's body was under all the blankets.
"Alright then. Well, thank you for your company, kitten." he said as I stood up and started towards my clothes, "perhaps we can play again sometime.~"
I pulled the borrowed shirt over my head and stepped into the dress.
"Maybe." I said nonchalantly, half because I didn't want to seem eager, and half because I doubted he really meant it.
I could feel his eyes burning into me.
"Need a zip?" he offered.
"Yes please."
He stepped behind me and zipped my dress up before running his hands from my shoulders down my arms.
"Don't be a stranger now, you always know where to find me.~" he said before planting one last kiss on the side of my head, and starting for the door.
"Knock 'em dead in your match today!" I called.
"If you insist." he said with a chuckle.
What the hell does that mean?
Left alone, I couldn't resist the urge to snoop a little. I can't imagine he kept a diary but there must be something interesting or telling laying around somewhere. On the surface there isn't anything particularly interesting, he had made the bed while I was on the balcony. Everything was neurotically organized by the looks of it, which seemed way out of character for such a dislocated guy.
The kitchen was mostly white, adorned with red towels and purple rugs. The only thing on the counter was a single red rose, gingerly placed in a slender glass vase. I didn't think he'd keep that, but it's somehow sweet that he did.
Somehow I thought if I dug through anything, he'd probably notice. Plus he's plenty deserving of his privacy, no matter how unyielding my curiosity was.
Stepping into my heels and grabbing my purse I headed for my own shower.

The hot water felt good on my skin, soothing my newly sore muscles. There was a series of small stinging sensations as I soaped up, correlating with the small crescent bite marks. All reminders of him.
I couldn't help but wonder what fight he could possibly have at noon. It's pretty uncommon for a floor master to fight more than once every few months.
After eating some leftovers cold out of the fridge, I put on a t-shirt dress and some old sneakers and headed to the ticket stand.
Gon? That little kid is fighting Hisoka so soon? What kind of death wish does he have? I hope I don't regret watching this fight. Oh god. I hope he doesn't take my advice literally. I'd hate to see little Gon 'knocked dead'.
It was sold out when I got to the stand, but they allowed me an extra ticket, as floor masters are entitled to any fight.
I had to get out of Heaven's Arena for a while so I wandered around some of York New city and decided to treat myself to a haircut and a manicure. The manicure wouldn't last, knowing me, but it was nice to pretend I was a normal woman for a few hours.
Despite my dilly dallying, I still made it back to Heaven's Arena with some time to spare. The stands were filling quickly. I watched people pour in from where I sat, further to the back. People were still filtering in when the lights dimmed and Cocco started introducing the fight. Hisoka wouldn't kill him would he? He's just a boy.