Repulsive Beauty || Hisoka

21. On Being Too Close

"You want to peg me, kitten? I'll have to g-"

"No. I want to be in charge."
"Oh? In charge, hmm? You're so cute." he mocked as he pulled out and stood up.
"I'm serious, His, please? I don't want to do anything crazy, I just want to have the final say is all. You can pick a safe word but I doubt you'll need it." I begged as I turned to sit on the edge of the bed.
"Well. Let me get a cloth to clean us up before we talk." He dismissed before going to the bathroom to dampen a rag.
He returned and motioned for me to turn around before he bent me over at the hips. I had gotten used to it by now; him wanting to be the one to clean me up after sex. I don't mind it.
"So you want to be in charge. What, do you want to cuff me? Blindfold me perhaps?" He asked in a snarky tone.
"No, His, I just want you to do as I say." I snipped.
I don't like that he's doubting me or making fun of me.
"Just pick a safe word and I'll go until you say it. Just like what you did with me."
"A safe word? For me? Darling I've never said no to something in bed. I have no limits." He teased as he crawled over me, positioning himself between my legs to hover just over my face.
"Just pick one, clown." I teased.
"Fine. Rose works for me as well, but don't expect to hear it." he spoke against my lips.
"Good boy." I spoke back against his, mostly to get a rise out of him.
It worked, he chuckled against me.
We let the kiss progress naturally from innocence to something more needy. Everything seemed perfectly normal until he reached to touch my chest.
"Don't"
"And why not?" he whined.
"Because I said so, His. How's this; you can touch me but only lightly, no man handling." I mocked, returning to our kiss before pushing up at his shoulders and telling him to sit against the pillows at the top of the bed. The pillows and headboard allowed him to be sitting up enough for my liking but have an open enough hip angle for me to ride him.

Hisoka's perspective:

She crawled over top of me and kissed my lips as our chests met.
"Just let me do all the work okay? I just want to make love to you." she whispered so casually as she lined me up to fill her.
I had to swallow back my initial reaction.
"I don't make love, dear."
"Yeah whatever. Tonight you do. Sit still."
Fine. All I have to do is just sit here. I don't even have to put my hands on her.
She sat her hips down, and looked up at my eyes before moving again, her eyes were wildly bright blue and her face was adorned by a bitten smile.
She went back and forth between bouncing and rocking her hips. Her breasts bounced as she did, her nipples puffy from how hard I had been pinching them earlier.
Her weight felt so good in my lap, and pressed against my chest.
I let my hand move to her waist, but focused greatly on not squeezing at all. Just following her rise and fall, letting my head lay back on the headboard.
Her mouth found my neck and she planted soft kisses between moans, until she whispered in my ear, slowing her pace.
"This is a form of letting go too, His."
What? This is the opposite of letting go.
Her face was in front of mine again, and she had all but stopped moving.
"Your face tells me you're unconvinced. That's only because you can't let go." she said as she scanned my face and ran her thumb across my lips.
"Let go of your power for just a minute. Let go of needing to be in control. I know I joked the other day and called you an out of control freak but you're incredibly bound in bed."
"Oh bound, am I? I love bondage." I smiled, trying to deflect the conversation.
"Because it's not intimate. You want the control to avoid intimacy. Just for ten minutes, His, let yourself go with me. Okay?"
"I'm not sure I'm following you fully but I'll try my best." I lied, completely understanding (and terrified of) what she was asking of me.
"Mmm," she hummed, smiling, "Wrap your arms around me like a hug, only don't squeeze me."
"This seems like the absolute opposite of letting go, kitten." I teased, but did what she told me.
"Good... Don't be so literal" she laughed, but it didn't last long until she pressed her lips to mine again.
She wrapped her arms tightly around my neck, and pressed her whole body flush with mine. She was moving but there was no rhyme or reason, she moved like a ship in a storm, tossing her hips around. It was like sex in a world with no rules. I jerked my hips of to meet hers and she broke our kiss for half a second just to bark,
"Don't move."
And she returned to her dance. The weight of her laying on me, pressed against me, wrapped around me. It felt as if she was everywhere.
She broke the kiss again and propped her forehead on mine, breathing heavily. Her eyes were on mine as she moved. Eventually one of her arms unwrapped from my neck and her hand pressed against my chest. She was getting close. It was difficult not to reach down for her clit to push her over the top.
I watched her hair flounce around her, occasionally falling into her face. Her hand clenched against my chest and she rolled her head back, leaning away from me slightly. She snapped her gaze back to mine and I felt her climax. Something felt different, with her face being as close to mine as it was. The details of her pleasure had nowhere to hide, I could feel and see every inch of her.
In her frenzy of orgasm, she somehow had brought me close to my peak as well, despite the subtlety of her movement. Coming down from her high she rested her forehead against mine for a moment before she decided to break me with just four words.
"Cum for me Hisoka."
And like a dog told to sit, I obeyed without thought.
She smashed her lips against mine again as I finished, catching all of my moans and purrs.
I felt like my chest was caving in. My mind was silent somehow, for just a moment.
She moved with me through my climax, and when I was finished she lightened her kiss. We quietly breathed each other in for I don't know how long.
"Your arms are shaking." she whispered against my lips.
She was right. My arms were resting on her back but shaking nonetheless.
"Can I actually hold you now instead of this lunacy" I mocked.
"Yeah" she giggled and wrapped her arms around my neck again.
I buried my face in her neck and panted against her.
"Gee, doing nothing really takes a lot out of you doesn't it." She purred into my hair.
"I get it, I struggle with not being in control, no need for the sarcasm."
"It's the intimacy of it that's freaking you out. If I had just chained you up and brought out the whips and floggers you wouldn't be having this reaction, despite the same lack of control. Anyway..." She trailed off.
I didn't want to think about the implications of her being correct.
Physically I felt incredible, like I had after taking my frustration out on her after my fight with Gon. Only this time, the pleasure has left me uncomfortable.
"Okay sweetheart. I'll be right back, don't move" and she got off of me and walked to the bathroom.
I'm not sure she'd ever used a pet name for me. 'Sweetheart' seemed like a strange place to start.
She was back in only a minute, approaching me with a washcloth.
"Don't even think about it." My mouth snapped before my brain could process.
"His, don't put the pole back up your butt just yet." she teased and reached to clean me off with the washcloth.
I grabbed her by the wrist and held it there, though I'm not sure why. Her face looked unamused, like she was expecting this reaction out of me. How was she less surprised than I was?
"You said to tell you if you were ever hurting me, right?" she said plainly.
I froze and watched her face, it was sickeningly sympathetic. Eventually I relaxed my grip and let her go.
"Do you want to use your safe word or can I try that again?" she asked sincerely.
I just nodded my head.
Watching her carefully wipe her wetness and my cum off of my cock and groin was excruciating. I found myself cracking my knuckles and balling my fists up just to keep from grabbing her again.
It only took a couple of seconds, and she tossed the rag to the floor.
"I don't have to stay the night, I don't mind. But I'm emotionally exhausted still and honestly, most exhausting of all, was therapizing you." she huffed, getting into bed next to me.
Therapize was a good word for her emotional torment.
"Stay. I'm going to clean up and get a drink first though, I'll be right back."
"Mhm" she hummed, propped on a pillow watching me.
When I got to the bathroom I almost vomited.