Repulsive Beauty || Hisoka

18. On Being His

The rest of the week passed with little news. I'd been anxiously anticipating meeting Hisoka's 'boss', mostly because I can't imagine the type of person it would take to subjugate him.

My phone rang in my pocket, and it was Hisoka.
"Hey"
*Hey, I have the details for tonight, it looks like the boss will be visiting my flat at 7. We have some business to discuss before you come over so you should shoot for 8. Does that work for you?*
"Yeah that's fine. So your place at 8. Any advice for me?" I asked, pretty nervous to meet whoever this guy was.
*I'm sure he'll love you, don't discredit yourself. I'll leave the door propped open, let yourself in. I'll see you then, kitten*
"Okay. See you then."
*click*

I figured I'd clean up for this very formal and high stakes interview. Hisoka just wears his usual so I'd imagine it's pretty casual.
I showered and shaved, dried my hair and straightened it, moisturized and applied make up. I had some pit in my stomach about this, like the pressure to represent myself was through the roof. After staring at my closet I decided on some sexy but full coverage black leather pants, and a blush pink tank top made of a silky material that hung loosely off my body in contrast. Looking in the mirror I was pretty shocked that I'd managed to walk the line between sexy feminine, and business casual. I was pretty hot when I tried! The marks left on my skin were very faint, nearly gone, but even still I covered them lightly with makeup. The elevator ride up to Hisoka's was only hardly a minute, so I had to be really patient to not show up early. I gave myself a second to step into my black heels, and grab my phone and wallet before heading to the elevator.
I checked my teeth in the shiny metal walls just before the lift settled at Hisoka's floor. He had left the door open, but I still knocked to be polite before entering. I took a few strides in before I could see anyone, but when I did, my heart nearly burst out of my chest.
My vision flashed red before the room was engulfed in rage filled bloodlust, causing Hisoka to stand from his seat in surprise and defense.
"Ahh. So my suspicions were right, when Hisoka mentioned you I wondered if it could be the very same, Tess." Chrollo said, slowly standing from his seat.
His movement, even though slight, was enough for me to warrant summoning my whips. My body was shaking, and I could feel tears welling in my eyes.
Hisoka had taken a few steps forward to be nearly between us.
"I didn't realize you two knew each other. What a small world it is. Tess, I don't think this is necessary, why don't you come sit." Hisoka said, trying to moderate.
"It's fine Hisoka, I'm not worried. I am amused at your choice of conjuration, I don't suppose you chose whips for the intentional irony." Chrollo said, never moving his eyes from mine.
I couldn't speak. I never meant to see him again. I never planned on ever having to face him again once I got out. Tears were streaming down my face, and my hands were shaking violently.
"Hisoka told me about your abilities. If only I had known how powerful you'd become, maybe I would have opened your aura nodes sooner." He said with his face lifting to a smile.
"I'm not understanding the nature of your relationship. You were friends in the past?" Hisoka asked the both of us.
"No." I finally spat.
"No, we were never really friends. She and I dated for several years." he explained finally turning to Hisoka before turning back and looking me up and down, "You look great by the way, though seeing you blonde is a big change."
"Eat shit." I growled.
Hisoka was staring at me with concern in his eyes, not knowing how to help.
"Come on now, why the hostility? Put your nen away and let's catch up." he said gesturing to the couch.
"Nothing has changed, Chrollo. When I said I'd rather die than spend another second with you I fucking meant it." I barked, my aura growing wilder.
"I didn't intend to open any old wounds. Clearly there's no need to further this meeting, I think it would be best if we stopped here." Hisoka said lightheartedly.
"I wasn't lying when I said I'd be interested in adding her to the troupe, her skills could be quite valuable. I'm sure we can put our past behind us and work together, Tess, no?" Chrollo offered, now walking towards me.
"I was your slave for years, Chrollo. I will never submit to you again." I said with my voice lowering.
He looked almost exactly the same, like time hadn't touched him. His hair was the same smooth black, his eyes the same soft brown. Hearing his voice felt like being 17 again, falling in love and kissing in cars, drinking too much and skinny dipping. Giving parts of yourself to someone you love, trusting in them to protect you. I could feel my heart tearing itself to shreds.
"Stop that. You were never anyone's slave, Tess, I loved you, and you loved me too. You had your free will the entire three years we were together." He said with his voice lowering with mine.
He was only a few feet away now, standing with his hands in his pockets.
The tears were free flowing now. My arms relaxed and I let my nen whips disappear, my blood lust fading slowly.
"You do look beautiful Tess, you've changed so much since I last saw you. It's almost a shame you've moved on. Though maybe Hisoka is good for you."
I couldn't bear to hear that. I spent years fighting to earn his love and respect, killing myself trying to be beautiful for him. Hearing him say it after all this time was like being hit by a fucking car.
"Stop, Chrollo, please." I begged, now entirely sobbing.
Hisoka had moved to be just behind Chrollo until now, he walked around him and stood at my side.
"Chrollo I think perhaps it's time you left, seeing as this obviously isn't the meeting we all had anticipated." Hisoka offered, but with a lilt of threat in his voice.
"I understand," he said, walking past me before stopping and putting his hand on my shoulder, "The offer still stands, you're welcome to get in touch with me anytime."
His breath swept across my face like it had so many times before. It smelled like fucking in hot tubs. It smelled like leather whips and blood. It smelled like breakfast on Sunday morning. It smelled like screaming and crying.
I couldn't even look at him, I jerked away from his touch and moved to put my back against the wall, turning my face away to hide my sobs.
"I'll see you Hisoka. Best of luck with your relationship, truly." Chrollo offered, his voice rancid with malice.
"Luck has never had anything to do with it, Chrollo, fear not." Hisoka spat in retort, with a fake smile.
"Well. Take care." Chrollo said, stepping out of the door.
My body returned to its shaking, my face feeling hot like I was about to vomit.
"Tess." Hisoka started, turning to me.
My eyes couldn't meet his, they were glued to the floor. My knees gave and I slid to the floor, crumpling like a tossed rag.
I could hear Hisoka talking for a while before he eventually squatted in front of me. I looked up and watched his lips move for a minute before he stopped. Next thing I knew he was picking me up under the arms, and leading me into the bathroom. He stood me in front of the mirror and started undressing me, in no hurry. Looking in the mirror I had no more tears on my cheeks, but my face was still puffy and red.
I twisted and stepped as he finished undressing me, leaving me to look at my naked body in the mirror. I was beautiful now, I'd finally done it. This is what he wanted all along. Just when I had stopped concerning myself with his approval, I had found it.
Hisoka was now behind me, naked as well. The room filled with the smell of strawberry, finally bringing me back to consciousness just as Hisoka picked me up bridal style and stepped into the tub, lowering us both into the water. I sat sideways on his lap, and let my arms wrap around his chest before laying my head on his shoulder, returning to light sobs.
"Shhh...", running his hand up and down my back, "I'm so sorry..."
"Stop." I finally squeaked.
"I didn't know. I never would have set this up."
"Hisoka, stop. Please." I begged, burying my face in his neck.
"Okay."
I tried to let the hot water steep some life back into me, focusing on Hisoka's movements. His arm washing over my back, his breathing, occasionally he'd readjust how I was sitting on his lap.
I stretched the extra two inches and kissed his neck, which threw off his steady breathing for a moment.
"I'm feeling better." I mumble into him.
"Good. Care to talk about it?" He asked, meaning well but also probably just trying to sate his own curiosity.
"No." I mumbled again, stretching to kiss his neck more hungrily this time.
"Oh, I see. Looking for a distraction, hmm?" He asked, pulling me in more tightly.
I sat and thought for a second.
"I want you to hurt me." I whispered, almost embarrassed.
"Hurt you? How do you mean that?"