We Will Meet Again

Boomerang: So it goes

APOV

There is change in the air. I can taste it. I can't help but smile when I think of Christian. He has a strong grip on my soul. I can definitely feel it. It makes me feel very excited for the future. It has been long since I last felt like this—being pleasantly excited about what life has in store. I have been living on autopilot, trying to get through life, forgetting that I exist and that I have a life I need to live. I am grateful to my friends and family for being there for me, but at times it just felt like it was not enough.

In the same breath, what I feel for him scares me. The more glimpses of himself he shows me, the more I catch a bit more. Its addictive and almost compulsive. I feel crazy, maybe because I don't want to stop it. I have never felt this much about someone before. I wonder if the same thing is happening to him—the more feelings I catch, the more he catches along with me. 

His dad left a while ago. He left me with a nice peck on the cheek and a promise of what is to come. I look over to Teddy watching cartoons. It is something that he is clearly not used to and I could sense the disapproval from his father. It is going to be a challenge staying with Teddy. His grandparents and father have their own expectations and ways of raising Teddy, and they seem quite different from mine. I can confidently bet with my last money that it is all due to money. 

"Why are you smiling Ana?" Teddy is looking over to me as the credits roll.

"Smitten as a kitten." I smile at him, preparing to make lunch for us. He scrunches up his face confused. "You don't look like a cat Ana" he mutters confused.

"But I sure am smitten!"

he laughs at me and asks again what it means. "It means that you must listen in class"

"Yes, Ms. Steel," he smiles as he makes his way back to the couch.

CPOV

All I see is a sea of blue eyes gaping at me, shock zapping through my body. My body freezes for a few moments, cursing out shit knows who. I fucked up. Badly. Ana shrivels away from me, scared, with her hands over her neck. What the hell happened?

"Dad, what did you do?". 

'Shut up!' I scream at him in my head, trying to make sense of what is happening right now. Ana is still dragging herself away from me towards her kitchen, tears streaming down. 

"Ana,"  I whisper to her, praying it is all just a dream, a dream within a dream.

"No, you shut up!" Theo screams at me, hitting my back. I instinctively push him off, causing him to crash and land on his butt. Fuck all of this. Why is this happening to me? Pray to God I am still dreaming. I look at him confused, questioning why he was acting like this. It is then that I realise I said it out loud. To add insult to the injury, he screams out, "I fucking hate you. You have never been good to me."

"The fuck are you talking about?" I scream at him, pissed at Theo for being disrespectful and uncouth to me.

"Hit me! Hit me like you hurt Ana! I know you did it. I didn't need to see you do it. I know it" Theo screams out. He quickly stands up and rushes to the room he was sleeping in, crying like a baby. This honestly can't be my child.

"Open the fucking door Theodore. This is a command. Don't piss me off more than you already have." i bang at the door, trying to get it open because he locked it. I feel heat wrap over my left shoulder and I instinctively jump. This scares Ana and jerks away from me a few inches, quickly removing her hand from my shoulder. It breaks my heart what I see. It looks like she is scared of me. How fucking great !

"I'm sorry," I mumble, still banging at the door. "I'm sorry," I say again. She looks at me doe eyed. Her eyes are dead set on me and slowly I watch the dear dissipate from her small form. She should eat more. She needs to eat more. I shake my head and whisper, "I don't know what happened. I just remember waking up..."

"Let me talk to Teddy. I know you didn't mean it," she whispers to me and faces the door, her hand hovering over the door handle. She turns back to me still whispering, "Right?". I nod in response.

"Please talk to him. I did not mean it."

She turns back to the door and I walk away from her instinctively. I can feel my heart thrashing. I don't know if it is still from the dream, or from what Theodore said to me, or from what Ana is thinking of me now. It scares me how much i care about the opinion of Ana compared to my own son. I always knew I was not worthy enough to be his father. I am clusterfuck and a piece of shit wrapped up nicely in skin and a pretty face. Who would want such a father? I wouldn't. I find myself facing the front door from the outside. I walked out this much, almost like I was in a trance. It was as if life knew I wasn't meant to be here in the first place. I was clearly forcing things I shouldn't have.

Should I stay. Should I continue walking? I have already walked this far, and I am sure i can handle going further. It is such a not a big deal. I look out to Theodore's room. It is now open. Two sets of eyes are staring at me as I close the door. I run down the stairs and begin jogging back to my place. I shouldn't have been there in the first place. With every step I take, I remember the look of shock that washed over her face as she saw me leaving. Whatever. And Theodore? Whatever. I was able to survive a life without my biological father. Theodore will be fine. I call Elena the moment I enter my apartment. With her hoarse voice she answers the call.

APOV

We had an amazing evening. When he came back from work, we ordered pizza and had some fun. We watched Toy Story then after that we listened to Teddy ramble on what toy he wants next and the adventures he will go on with his toys. Maybe that was the problem. Today was just to perfect. Something had to go wrong, but why that out of all things?

He ran. I never thought he could do it, but that bastard did. Is this the same person I thought was going to be the love of my life?