With You

Chapter 19: Go Back

Chapter 19: Go Back

Ang totoo bang dahilan kung bakit ayaw niya akong mabuntis ay dahil talaga sa ayaw niyang magkaanak pa sa akin? Because after all, he would just discard me, anyway... After all this, maaring balak niya lang din na itapon ako kapag pagkatapos na niyang mapabagsak ang pamilya ko...

But he said that he wants to destroy my father... "Why?" I asked him.

He looked away. He looked out the window of his office study. "May kasalanan siya na gusto ko lang singilin, Vienna..."

Umawang ang labi ko. "Ano'ng kasalanan niya sa'yo?"

He looked at me again. "Malaki."

I saw hatred in his pair of eyes. His beautiful brown eyes now turned dark...

At halos mapaatras lang muli ako sa nakikita ko sa kaniya ngayon. I think I've not seen him like this before. Para bang talagang may malalim na pinangagalingan ang galit niya sa ama ko.

I know that my father wasn't a completely good person. Pinabayaan niya nga ako noon hanggang sa magkasakit na lang si Mama. And he hurt even his own wife and daughter. I thought of him as a selfish man. Pero ano pa kaya ang maari niyang nagawa rin sa kay Harrison, para magkaroon ng ganito kadilim na ekspresyon si Harrison ngayon habang tinitingnan ko siya...

Napalunok ako. "Alam ko na hindi ganoon kabuting tao ang Papa ko... Pero, ano ba ang nagawa niya sa'yo? That you would want to destroy my family?"

"I am your family now, Vienna. You are not anymore a De La Cerna. You now carry my family name, too. You're an Abella now." he said.

Umiling naman ako sa kaniya. "But my Ate Rosie and Tita Rachel is not my father... And they are still my family. Kung ano man ang nagawa sa'yo ni Papa, hindi iyon kasalanan nina tita at ate—"

"Your father used my sister, Vienna!" tumaas ang boses niya nang sabihin ito.

Umawang lang muli ang labi ko habang nakatingin ako sa kaniya.

I don't understand... His sister... His older sister who died? "What happened to your sister, Harrison?" I asked him.

I want to know! As I was already feeling frustrated, too! Hindi ko maintindihan, hindi ko alam! Wala akong alam dito at sobra akong naguguluhan ngayon. And I'm still in shock of what I just discovered!

Hindi ko alam ang kaugnayan ni Papa sa kapatid ni Harrison...

Bakit... Ano ba kasi ang ginawa niya?!

Umiling lang sa akin si Harrison. Pagkatapos ay mabilis na niya akong nilapitan. "It's not your fault, Vienna. So you don't really have to worry yourself about it." He held my cheek with his gentle hand on my face...

Umiling naman ako at muli lang lumayo sa kaniya. Natanggal ang hawak niya sa pisngi ko. "No. How can I, Harrison? They are still my family!" Sina Tita Rachel at Ate Rosie...

Harrison looked at me. "You call that man your family? When he only discarded you and your mother? Do you forget that your mother died because of him?!"

Nagugulat pa rin ako sa tono ngayon ni Harrison. At medyo nakaramdam din ako ng konting takot. Because he felt like he's not being his usual self around me right now...

I shook my head. "Nakakalimutan mo na rin ba, Harrison? I only married you... because I want to save my family!" Nabibigla lang din siguro ako sa mga nasasabi ko ngayon, pero hindi ko na rin napigilan ang sarili ko.

"And... pinaglaruan mo lang ba ako?! I told you that I want to save my family! But I never thought that you had a plan of destroying it!" Malakas na ang pintig sa dibdib ko. At halos hindi ko na rin ma control ang mga emosyon ko.

Umiling din sa akin si Harrison. "You should know that your father is not a good person, Vien..."

I know that, but it's too much kung madadamay pa pati sina Ate Rosie...

At ano ang balak niya sa akin?

"That plan was a long time ago..." he said.

"What do you mean?"

Tumingin siya sa akin. "I never expect you to come to me. But you did, and my plans actually got ruined..."

Umiling ako sa kaniya. Hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala sa nalaman ko lang hanggang ngayon. "I don't know, Harrison... I do not know what you're really planning now..." I looked up at him.

Nakatingin din siya sa akin. "Will you trust me when I say that I wouldn't go with the plan anymore, well, actually... matagal ko na nga rin hindi ginawa..." aniya.

Pero umiling pa rin ako sa kaniya. "What's your reason?" I need assurance that he really won't go with his plan anymore...

Ayaw ko lang na madamay pa at mapahamak din sina Ate Rosie at Tita Rachel. Sila lang ang naging mabuti sa akin. I won't be able to survive without them. And I consider them my family.

Harrison was looking at me. "You're here now, Vienna... That's it."

Umawang lang ang labi ko bahagya sa sinabi niya. I still don't understand. And I already have my doubts and fears now...

Kaya hindi rin nabigyan ng linaw ang pag-uusap namin ni Harrison sa loob ng study niya. Pagkalabas ko doon ay naguguluhan pa rin ako. Dahil pakiramdam ko ay may hindi pa rin siya sinasabi sa akin. And I cannot be reassured anymore. Ang gusto ko lang na makasigurado ako na hindi na niya talaga papakialaman ang business ng mga De La Cerna.

Lalo na at si Ate Rosie na ngayon ang siyang talagang namamahala nito. And my sister have been working hard for the business our grandfather had made. At alam ko rin na pinaghirapan ito ni Lolo. At nalulungkot din ako kapag naiisip ko na babagsak na lang ang pinaghirapan ni lolo nang dahil lang sa kasalanan ni Papa na hindi naman namin kasalanan...

But since then, medyo lumayo na rin ang loob ko sa kay Harrison...

At ramdam ko na ramdam niya rin iyon. Kaya nga malalaman ko na lang na hindi siya natulog sa kwarto namin at sa guestroom siya nanatili. Because he knew that I wasn't yet ready for us to just go back to how we were before of what I just discovered in his study.

And I doubt if we'll ever go back to how things were between us before...