The Royal Heir - Dancing with my eyes closed

Situationship

**this chapter is NSFW and includes a spicy art scene by IG's michaeldrawss**

***

The next day, my mood is, uh, how do I delicately put this, a tad more erratic? Bella wakes me up early, and even if she hadn't I think I'd still have been making a quick getaway this morning. Because as dreamy as it is to wake up all warm and comfortable in Tommy's arms, I feel way too conflicted about it all in the light of day. I think he picks up on the fact that I need some space, he doesn't question it when I dash off to see to Bella without exchanging any affectionate gestures, and he keeps his distance from me today.

Until now. I'm now putting Bella to bed, and I'm sitting in the chair next to her cot bed reading one of the Marvel comics that Tommy recommended to her. She's absolutely loving it, especially when I put on my silly narrator voice.

"Spider-Man swings gracefully between buildings, his red and blue costume vivid against the dark sky. Ny-ow. Does Spider-Man go ny-ow, Bella? Ny-ohhh! He does not! He's silent, so his enemies don't know he's there until it's way too late! Same for Mary-Jane, but she never minds too much, huh? She likes a surprise kissy kissy, who doesn't? Ooh, here's Iron Man, look. Iron Man lands with a metallic thud in the heart of Times Square. I've been there, Bella, with your mommy! Big, busy place. Not a lot of room for Iron Man to make a landing, but hey we'll roll with it. His suit gleams in the neon lights, and the arc reactor in his chest emits a soft glow. He surveys the area with determination. Do you think he's looking for mommy, Bella? Or is Captain America looking for her? Look, here he is on the Brooklyn bridge, That's very very near where your mommy used to work."

"Totty," I hear Bella say in her sleepy voice, reaching upwards.

"No, Bella, that's not Tommy, that's Bucky Barnes, but I can see where you're coming from."

"Hey."

Yikes. My head whizzes around and I realise Tommy's leaning against the nursery door. "Heyyy."

"Please continue, by the way," he says. "I think we were both enjoying that, right Bella?"

Bella stands up and bounces around now, pointing towards Tommy.

"Looks like she wants you to read," I joke, and then I realise what a super-adorable idea that is.

He laughs, but Bella doesn't stop bouncing as she looks in his direction. Duchess strolls into the nursery now, and winds herself around Tommy's legs. He crouches down to pet her, then stands back up again. "Alright. But only because it's Marvel."

I leap out of the chair and pass him the comic book. He shoots me a look as if to say don't get used to this and sits down where I was. Bella giggles and lies down, peering up at him through the bars of her cot bed. I lean against the wall, taking care not to disturb the animal art prints that Hana lovingly created, while Duchess curls up at Tommy's feet.

"Meanwhile, Thor stands on the balcony of Avengers Tower, with Mjolnir held aloft, and lightning crackling around him," Tommy reads, calmly. "His cape billows in the wind as he prepares to take flight, a beacon of hope for the city and beyond."

A beacon of hope, yeah. I'm looking at mine right now. His voice is so soothing, and his presence reassuring. It's like he's meant to be here. Bella adores him, and he seems to adore her right back. It's almost as if he could be part of our family. Maybe he already is? He snuck into it without either of us realising what was happening. It's a good job he's going to be working here for at least three more months until we get to the grape harvest, because I can't imagine him not being around now.

But after his confessions last night, I'm not sure this is healthy. Because he's been into me for a long time. And I've.. well. If I'm honest, I've been into him ever since we met, but I'm not in the right place to give him everything I think he needs from me. Sure, from a physical point of view, I can do that in the bedroom (or anywhere else he damn well likes, chortle chortle. Ahem). But emotionally? I care about him too much. I don't want him getting hurt a few months down the line when I've nothing left to offer him.