The Other Friend

Full-time girlfriend

I kept carlos's hoodie and that night we texted til midnight and continued to text all weekend.

I caught the glances and looks my mom threw my way whenever I would receive a new text from him and I'd smile or giggle.

I was spaced out,in our own world where I wasn't betraying my best friend,where our new relationship wasn't facing an unknown,if not scary future,where we weren't from two different worlds,living two different lives.

It was just us.

Francine texts me though and I'm reminded that I will need to tell her that we have been invited to the biggest party in our school so we can plan and get ready for next weekend.

I don't know how much I should share,I would like to think maybe me and carlos's relationship can be kept a secret until we all go away to college maybe,but I know that's not realistic,carlos has no plans to keep us private.

He has already invited me to come hang out with him and his friends after school,asked if he can be my ride to and from school,plans to eat lunch with me at school everyday,he even wants me to come to his practices and games for the rest of the school year.

So I'm officially a full-time girlfriend,...I'm carlos's girlfriend and come Monday everyone's going to know it.

I don't want franny to find out that way so we need to talk.

She comes to pick me up to hang out at her house,we always go to her house over my apartment for obvious reasons and not so obvious reasons as well.

I've never questioned it but she's never been inside our apartment,just picks me up or drops me off,never lingering.

I think I don't want to know why we never sleepover at my place or just hang out there,I don't want to know the reason for her obvious avoidance of and disinterest in the place I call home,it's nicer not to know,safer.

I Meet her in the parking lot,loud pop music coming from her range rover,she smiles at me when I get in,blowing me an air kiss in greeting before yelling ,

"Hey bestie!".

I smile in reply as she pulls off going too fast as usual.

When we get to her house her mom greets me and let's us know she's prepared snacks for us in the kitchen and ordered some food as she always does if she hasn't cooked something.

" You help yourself monika,don't be shy and how is your mother?".

I fiddle with my fingers as I reply,"she's well,she's working this weekend ".

Miss Jung knods smiling,"your mother's a strong woman,you tell her Mr Jung and I said hello".

I knod," yes,ma'am ".

Miss Jung leaves us and I join franny at the counter where she's already picking through the food,I make a plate and grabbing some drinks we head up to her big room.

I often wonder if franny realizes how good she's got it,she doesn't even need a scholarship her parents are covering all the costs of her college education,including living expenses while in the dorms,food,her car and a hefty allowance each month for spending money.

As we sit in her room, frannys chattering away about end of the year senior events coming up and I'm so anxious I just have to get this over with so I interrupt her blurting out,

"We're going to carlos's party next weekend ..".

She stares at me,frowning in confusion,

"....What are you talking about Monika,we haven't been invited to that party...".

I knod, avoiding her gaze,"we have been,...Carlos,um, invited us..".

She just stares at me,blinking

"And when.. was this...?",she asks, a tense undertone to her voice.

Oh great she's already doing the math in her head,speculating,assuming.

I can tell by the tensing of her body and blank expression,it's the face she uses with outsiders normally,those she's not close with and so she doesn't want them to read her,to know what she's feeling.

Her eyes stay glued to my face,filled with unspoken words,questions,..accusations.

She knows me well and I wonder what she reads on my face.

I try to keep my face in a relaxed,open expression,and giving a nonchalant shrug I say,

" I ran into him yesterday and he mentioned his party,...he remembered me,..us...from the bonfire ".

She studys me silently and oh how I wish I could read minds,the uncomfortable silence is making me want to scream out all the things I'm trying to keep hidden from her,for atleast a little while longer anyway,when I've had more time to plan how to tell her.

I'm relieved when she does speak again,

"You... ran into him?",she asks skeptically

The relief is short lived as I feel my heart beat pick up and I start to panic,she knows,she knows,she knows!

I knod

"Hmm....and he.. Invited us?..". Franny asks.

She doesn't know Monika,I tell myself,just keep the focus on the party,I calm myself internally so my voice won't shake as I answer,

"that's what I said franny".

I cross my arms over my chest giving her my best exasperated look.

She knods, and raises her hands innocently,

"Hey,we have to be SURE,you don't just show up to an invite only party not invited Monika,it's social suicide".she pins me with a look.

I knod,"well,we were invited and my mom has already given me the greenlight as well".

At that her eyes widen and her mouth hangs open,"seriously, your mom?,she knows it's a sleepover right?".

I knod

My mom doesn't even tend to let me stay out past 7pm unless for an approved sleepover at Francine's,so I get why this is unbelievable to her.

Of course I don't mention that birthday boy himself met my mom and told her about his birthday sleepover.

After a moment franny knods and jumps up screeching,hopping up and down.

"I can't believe it!,we have to plan our outfits,do our hair,go to the nail salon for a fresh set...,there's so much to do,you should have called me right away monika!"

I give a sheepish smile,"you know how I am,these things don't excite me".

She rolls her eyes,"anyways, we can't waste anymore time, I'm going to go talk to my mom about the party and then we are going shopping".

She gives me a big hug before hurrying out of the room.

Her mom will say yes to her going to the party, she's always been indulgent when it comes to franny,seeking to give her whatever she wants,my bestfriend is spoiled, but a good girl like me,we both get good grades,stay out of trouble,we're graduating and expecting to go off to our dream schools next fall,all while not being pregnant.

We are a success in our parents eyes for those reasons alone.

As I sit in her room waiting for her,I question if I'm handling this right,if I should have told her just how close me and carlos have gotten.

That I've never liked a guy the way I like him,that he makes me happy and we seem meant for each other.

That he's my boyfriend, first one at that,which she would know since I've never dated while she's had many boyfriends during the lifespan of our friendship.

I wonder..if things would have turned out differently if I had been honest with my bestfriend.