He Who Laughs Last

CH 8: Partners in Crime

The man who called himself Joker was bored. In fact, he'd been bored for a good month, now, and nothing seemed to be picking up. Sure, he had practically a legion of hired thugs rampaging through the city at any given point, but he felt like he was running out of steam. He was pretty much constantly directing his men this way or that, fighting against police, rival gangs, and he had the far more organized and established mob taking notice of him. When he had first started his reign of crime and terror, however many months ago that was, it had been fun, blowing things up, running down pedestrians on the sidewalk. He had set fire to a school and had his men set up inside, shooting every fireman who came in to rescue anyone. At some point he found out there was a guy online posing as him, beating up homeless people and running around like a chicken with its head cut off for views. He had him strung up between two buildings, right in the middle of downtown, and hijacked a news station again, for a little PSA. No one was going to try to be the Joker. Not while he was around. But maybe... He sat up, something of an idea forming. But maybe someone like him wouldn't be so bad. Not someone pretending to be him, he wouldn't stand for that. But maybe a similar minded person, someone to cause mayhem and chaos with. Two heads had to be better than one, right? Part of him said no, that he was the only one who really got it, the only one who really saw the punchline. Even his men were only in it for the money and general lawlessness of it. The rest of him was desperate, though. Desperate for any sort of change, any sort of lifeline out of this empty void of fun and destruction. He got ready to make another PSA.

.....

Gotham watched with bated breath as the Joker once again stood before then. When the Joker was on TV, something bad always happened. Jim Gordon scrambled to get as many men as he could to the news station. People were going to die today. They always did. Bruce Wayne watched, unable to make himself look away. He knew what was about to happen would be in his dreams, but he didn't care. He had to watch anyways. He was a coward and he deserved it. Jonathan Crane watched as well, though with significantly less interest. This Joker was a self centered idiot, who wouldn't know the true delight of fear if it hit him in the mouth. Alfred Pennyworth was unconscious, sleeping off a major hangover after what was effectively his sixth night of partying that week. It was Wednesday.

.....

The Joker readied himself, slicked his hair back, and breathed. As much as he wanted to burst out laughing at what was to come, he had to make an entrance. The look of surprised horror on the newscasters' faces never got old. He couldn't give himself away just yet. The weatherman finished up, really he didn't know why they kept that portion in. Gotham was always dreary, gray and overcast. All the years he had spent there and he didn't know that he had once seen a sunny day. He stilled himself, trying not to giggle at the thought and kicked the doors open. He nearly had to stop himself from bellowing out "For Sparta", but managed to keep his composure. At some point they'd probably start chaining the doors shut or something, and then he could have a "Here's Johnny" moment. He laughed at the thought. They had, however, started having an armed security guard stand in with the news, but the overweight man was just as surprised as the newscasters and was dead before he had his gun out. The Joker strode in front of the camera, hopping up onto the large desk on set and addressed the city yet again.

"Gotham! Let me tell you, it is so good to be here, and seeing all of you here today. I've got some news for you today, so I think I'll take over for you guys." He turned to the newscasters with an especially winning smile and put a bullet in each of them before resuming. "You see, I don't think you guys understand why I'm doing all this. I'm not here just to hear myself talk, though that certainly is a bonus. Nor am I doing all this crime...ing... criminaling... whatever, just for the crime's sake. Just to get rich or whatever the hell. I'm doing all this because it's fun! And it's been shockingly less fun as time goes on. Very disappointingly so. So I think to myself, Joker, why are you trying to do all this alone? Two's company, right? So why not find somebody who enjoys this just as much as you do and work together? So that's what this little chat is about. Because, as of this moment, I'm looking for a partnership. I'm down by the docks if you want to come sign up. It's the building painted purple and green with a massive smile on it. You can't miss it." The Joker grins at the camera and hops up and starts to walk away. "Hold on, I remembered something. Commish Gordy!" A smile. "I know you're watching, and I want you to know that I have a list here" he pulls a few sheets of paper out from his jacket with a barely visible list of names and pictures, "of all your guys, what they look like, and their addresses. If a single cop shows up to my little soiree, they and their family will die. If anyone wearing a wire or anything similar shows up, I send this little paper to a few rivals of mine, we'll say as something of a peace offering. You get me? Hahaha, I know you do." The overly colorful man walks away.