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AUGUST pulled into his driveway, parked his car and shut off the engine. August felt as though his suite was choking him as he quickly loosened his tie and took off his jacket throwing it behind him. August placed his hands on the steering wheel and then his head as he sighed deeply. His head had been pounding all day, he couldn't shake the words, the memories, the way his blood always use to run cold when he saw his father. When they both knew what he had done and as he just continued the day as if it was normal, as if he were normal.
August had been repeated two words to himself, all day.
Don't remember.
August tried to jam his head with other thoughts, other memories but it all just kept flooding back like a broken dam. Focusing on work was no longer enough, he was making mistakes he never made before, forgetting things that were like second nature, getting scolded when he was always perfect..Tried to be. Focusing on his brothers wasn't enough either, he found himself getting angry at them, resenting them, being hurt by them for something they have no clue of, something that wasn't even their fault. August felt the weight of his burdens and misery boxing him in and drowning him and he couldn't save himself any longer.
The facade, the stone cold face and the broad shoulders with his head help up high were crumbling. He felt weak in every aspect, he felt scared and alone. Haunted.
Don't remember.
Hot tears streamed down August face as he wiped them aggressively with the back of his hand. He opened his car door slamming it shut as he staggered from side to side all the way up to his porch and to his car, his door already opened because he couldn't be bothered to lock it, August just walked right inside. August slid his hands down his face as he continued to his liquor cabinet and bent down opening it as he stared at the many different bottles. Flashes appeared in August mind of his father yet again.
Don't remember
August grabbed unopened bottle of Jack Daniel's cracking it open with his teeth, throwing the cover across the room as he tilted his head and took a large gulp as the excess liquor dripped down his chin. Just as the burning sensation hit his throat and glided down he remember the first time he had liquor, the first time he had a drink, he felt that burning throat. He thought it was just another day, just another bonding moment with his father...But it wasn't. It was anything but that, after getting August tipsy..That's when it began.
That's when it started. The first time August was ever touched was when he was only nine years old.
Don't remember August kept telling himself, as he tried to push the thoughts down but he couldn't help but remember. August brought the bottle to his lips and took another hard gulp and he swallowed it down like water as tears streamed down his face.
