Delirium

Chapter 8

He couldn't practice because she was on his mind.  It was the way her baby blue eyes gazed into his. The connection was still there and it drove him mad. Dallas wanted to devour Ella but at the same time love and protect her. That was why it had almost worked between them. He was attracted to her yet the way he felt with Ella, was a way he never felt with anyone before or after her.

Dallas grunted and stood up, "Damn you, Ella." He murmured.

He flipped the switch off, closing the studio door behind him. He shuffled his way past the drum set and up the staircase. Dallas overheard muffled voices as he approached the top stair.

He opened the door to see Griffin holding Ella's hands.  Dallas hid around the kitchen corner. He opened the black fridge reaching for a vodka while listening in. They walked toward the living room while Dallas followed discreetly.

"Ella, what's going on between you and my brother?"

"Nothing Griff." She said firmly.

Dallas took a sip of his vodka, swallowing hard. The liquor burned his throat and produced an itchy feeling.

"Nothing is going on."

Griff took a deep breath, "I know, Mikey just told me what happened."

He heard her voice drown out as she wandered out the front door.

Griff shut the door, "Dal, I know you're there."

"I don't see how it affects you ." Dallas propped his body on the corner of the wall.

"It doesn't but I do need to know how much you heard ."

"Not much." He said hiding the vodka.

Griff shook his head, "Dallas, I know you have alcohol."

Dallas took another sip. He longed to get wasted. The intoxication made him forget the pain he felt seeing Ella and Griff together. The vodka also caused him to not remember his toxic past. Dallas always felt as if he could never escape the trauma.

Hard liquor was Dallas's way to escape his reality. It helped him cope with everything that had happened to him. It helped Dallas accept abandonment. "Why did you begin to drink Dallas? I remember you always saying you'd never do it."

Dallas pondered for a moment, "It covers up my scars for a little while, allowing me to forget who I am."

                                            ***

Ella sat on the edge of her bed replaying that intimate moment with Dallas. His hands on her waist were so familiar. She had missed his tender touch. He still handled her with care.

Ella shook her head. She couldn't do this to Griffin. He was as hot as his brother sharing the same features. The only difference was their eye color and shape. Griff had hazel eyes and an almond shape whereas Dallas had jade green eyes and a monolid shape. People often thought they were twins despite being three years apart.

"Hey, Ella?" Esteè asked entering the door.

"Hmm?" Ella responded. 

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay. Something just happened with Dallas earlier." She said with a wave of her hand.

"What did the asshole do now?"

Ella filled her best friend in on everything that happened with her ex-boyfriend.

"Ella, it sounds like you still care for him."

"No, I don't." She denied.

Esteè gave her a look, "Ella Nicole Cross, I know you better than that. I can tell you love Griff but I don't think you feel for him what you felt with Dallas."

"How so?" Ella asked.

Esteè took Ella's right hand in hers, "because even when you speak of the way he hurt you, your blue eyes still show your love for him." Her dark green eyes meet Ella's. "And when you talk about Griff your eyes just don't shine the same way."

Ella knew Esteé was right. She still loved Dallas even after all that he did. Despite being with Griff for half a year, she didn't love him the same way.

And as if on cue he called.