55. Self-Doubt

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"How laughable."

Who...is speaking?

"You've forgotten your true self. Your pathetic self." A man full of scars with striking resemblance says.

It's the adult me from the past timeline.

"Shut up..." I reply weakly. "I resolved myself to change my fate."

"Yet you ignore experiences from your previous life, blindly charging forward." He smirks. "Heh...you would still be the talentless and weak bastard if not for the goddess' help. How to overcome talent? Effort is not the answer, divine intervention seems to be the true solution."

"Effort can-"

"Do you remember your duel with a young child from a village in your mercenary days?" The older Loi asks me. "It's not that you didn't put proper effort into your training. The boy was simply too talented. You lost in five moves, a shame to every swordsman."

"My way of effort was wrong. There are better techniques and methods to train. If I knew them, my effort would prevail!" I persist.

"Hahaha! At the end of the day, you still require the help of others to thrive! Anyone can do that! Look at your squad members! Each one of them became decently strong thanks to your help! But it can only go so far. They will hit a wall soon that not even effort or experience can help."

"You-"

"Loi...you've experienced worst things than that fucking vacation to the mountains. You experienced the tip of death many times but what did all of that do? It sharpens your senses but that's it. You still lost to a fucking five-year-old boy." The older Loi says. "If you wanted to repay your debt to your subordinates, you would have discouraged them, forced them to quit their life on the battlefield."

...

"Their dreams..."

"You had a dream too. Remember it?" The older Loi says.

...Wait.

That's right. I had a dream...but I can't remember it.

"Of course you can't, you knew you couldn't achieve it and gave up. At least, you kept your life and can help your family. That's the most important thing to both of us."

...

"If there is a true protagonist in this world, Mina wouldn't fit that role. It would be that guy, the guy who stood on the frontline when the Martial Artists attacked and single-handedly stopped the advance of individuals capable of ending this world. If you can't even match up to Mina, you can't save this world. Talent is the true deciding factor in the end."

A man six years younger than me would be called the "Hero" of this world. If he is here, he definitely will take care of that strange creature easily.

However...

I meet my sight on my older self and smile.

"SO WHAT? So what if I get help from others to make up for my talent?! So what if I rely on resources to grow? Is that the wrong thing to do? At the end of the day, only results matter. If I lack four times of talent, I will put in five times more effort," I say. "I learned something that you never experienced. Hope."

The older Loi stares at me with a nonchalant gaze.

...

"Then show it to me. WAKE UP!"

My eyes spring open.

"HAH!! HUFF HUFF HUFF..."
I'm back in the mountains after temporarily losing consciousness.

Searing pain settles on every muscle fibre. I'm certain fractures sprinkle my body. Still, I must move.

The growls of monsters creep. Many footsteps approach my immobilized self.

If I don't move, I die. I must move. I MUST MOVE AT THE COST OF EVERYTHING.

Demonic mana within circulates with haphazard aggression, overloading my spiritual roots and triggering uncomfortable suffocation.

"KRAGHHHH!!!" I scream. My muscles move and twist through every torn ligament, every blood vessel bursting with aura. Controlling the mana to move my body, I pull myself up through agony worth thousands of stabs.

"HUFF HUFF...UGH...HUFF HUFF HUFF..."

Red and black crawl my blurry vision; I'm on the verge of death.

Still, I refuse to give in and slowly move toward my sword at a distance away.

I extend my hand. The sword vibrates as small particles of mana surround the blade, launching the weapon into the air.

"ROAR!!" Several wolves of iron spiky skin pounce at me, mouths wide open and canine teeth going for my neck.

I swing the blade and tear one line through the group. Afterwards, I reach out my trembling arms and demonic mana from each carcass flows to my body.

"I...need more..." I mumble.

"Grrrrrr..."

Hiding in the dark, many droplets of red fury gazes lock their gaze, pressuring the air with a palpable sense of doom. The horde encircles me, closing in on all sides.

"Grrr...RARGHHHH!!"

They leap in together, raining from above.

My body stumbles awkwardly with a weak grip on my sword. Suddenly, a field of aura expands, stunning every beast as if time stops momentarily.

One second and my blade whirls three rounds, butchering a hurricane of bloody meat.

As the surrounding demonic mana seeps into my body, I drag my legs and sword towards the remaining beasts, trudging like a soulless zombie.

The quivering wolves can only stare at my eyes. Something stops their movement; The air screams in dread.

The roles of predators have reversed.

=================
Ten minutes ago...
=================

Vincent Krist tears through the sea of monsters attempting to traverse deeper. The narrow landscape in the mountains prevented detours when every monster in the region seemed to be gathering.

Fortunately, as if hypnotized, the monsters focused more on moving than the knights.

"Sir! At this rate, it will take us a long time to reach the epicentre! Most of our equipment is worn out from the defence, we can't keep up with the pace!!" A knight reports to Vincent.

Vincent furrows his brow and throws his weapon at the horde with all his might. It rips through countless bodies and spews rivers of blood. Yet the monsters pay no heed to Vincent.

"FUCKKK!!" He curses.

Mina clicks her tongue. "Sir Krist, I will head forward myself."

"Alright, please find my son!"

Mina nods and zooms off, combustion after explosions boosting her across the blizzard.

*BAMMMMMMMM!!!!!*

!!!!!

A ridiculous creature punches a figure into a mountain far away.

"LOI!!" Mina exclaims.

She turns back to the creature and widens her eyes. Her fists clenches as veins of anger pop out.

"It's you..." She mumbles.

"YOU AGAIN!!!" She screams at the top of her lungs.

Fiery wings emerge behind her small physique, her hair erupts into red flame, and her eyes paint crimson. Her outburst manifested a sun in the sky, vaporizing every snow and changing the weather.

Her god-like appearance descends mirage of doomsday as meteors emerge from the sky, charging right at the creature.

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