An Adventitious Meet

CHAPTER 24

HELLO SHREEF BACCHO!!🤭

I'M SO HAPPY TO TELL KI TUM LOGON KA THODA ACCHA RESPONSE AAYA HAI...SO THANK YOU SO MUCH AUR AISE HI PYAAR BANAYE RAKHO
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*TRIGGER WARNING*: Mentions of p*nic attack , self h*rm
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DHAARA'S POV

It was him...all along it was him that's what kept going on in a loop in my mind on my way home, even though I told him to forget about all this but today after seeing him..and listening to what he said I did feel relieved that too in a very long time.

It still feels unbelievable cause what are the chances of the stranger I'm talking to turns out to be the same person whom I already met, seeing him today after so long I feel as if..I don't know but that feeling was not negative for sure , yet I feel as if this moment will be short-lived

I knocked the door and Mumma opened it and took the bag from me and I sat on the sofa witha tired sigh

"Kaisa Raha din!?" She asked me while taking a seat beside me on the sofa (how was your day?)

"Accha thaa but kaafi thak gayi" i answered leaning my head head back( It was good but tiring)

"Got to your room and freshen up .. I'll bring something to eat till then you relax" she said and I stood up giving her a quick peck on her forehead and i took my bag and went to my room

After getting fresh I sat on my bed there was food on the side table ...I started eating the food while i opened the latest text messages and my inbox was bombarded with Kashish's messages and as I saw all of them and I reacted to one of them and she immediately came online and within ten seconds my phone rang

"Hello" i answered as i picked upt he call

"What in the hell was that!?..and why am I not aware of whatever it was!?" She asked with clear disbelief and excitement

" Ohk so ...this is a long and quite unbelievable thing to be honest even I got a suprise today" i told her which is absolutely true cause not even in my wildest dreams I ever thought of this happening

" I'm all fucking ears...SPEAK!" said asked and it was clear how much she wanted some tea

"Okay so I've been talking to someone from that anonymous dating app that you once recommended to me and i tried it once and I found someone and we started talking about stuff and telling about uss but we only told each other out name...and no pics I mean i didn't even told him that I was from Delhi ..i told him I live in Gujarat and earlier I told him I'm 22 later I told him the truth also but due to something i happened to ghost him out telling him that this is all an infatuation and nothing more ...but I have to say that in that one month we were together i never felt so connected..like we are literally the same persons even our birthday's are same, can you believe that and now after a month he's back and saying that in this one month nothing has changed and whatever we had was not nothing...and today is the first time I saw him and you know what is the crazy part... he's the same guy I met in Vrindavan about whome i told you ..the one who colour me with gulaal..what are the damn fucking chances that it's hum" I told all this in one go

"OH MY GOD...OH MY FUCKING GOD, are you for real ..is this some movie going on what the actual hell..I have no words" she replied in pure shock

"Exactly..now I don't know what to do" i said as I was very confused

" Are you crazy ....the guy is back for you after YOU told him a goodbye from your life...wait is something wrong with him is he dangerous!?" She asked

"To be honest he is a complete green flag if I must say... he's very considerate..very compatible & kinda sorted in his life,in some questions he is always making sure if I'm comfortable or not to answer them.. he's just too good that be true and that's what is unbelievable..and he found about who I am what I look like and where I was that's how he found me out so I'm a little scared ..but not as much as I should be" i confessed

"Are you seriously sick in your mind...when the guy is like this then your doing all this and still he's making an effort to communicate, are you blind?" She asked me and practically her voice is so pitched .. clearly she's screaming

"I don't know I have my own things to deal with!" I told her in my defence

"There no logic..what do you mean?"she again asked

"Look..I don't trust him fully, he will leave once he gets to about everything.. nobody wants this kinda shit to deal with and he doesn't deserve this disfunctional kinda relationship, so that's what best for him" i told her sternly

"Oh please.. Don't make your own perceptions, let him decide this" she said in a very normal tone

"Till then what ..I wait and watch and when he leaves after that what ..huh!?" I asked in a very irritated voice

"And how come are you so sure about it?" She asked

"Oh c'mon, I know" i said laughing dryly

"Look i am suggesting you should give it a chance please ..and don't let your last ruin your present " she said calmly

"Not past ...MY PRESENT, IT IS MY PRESENT and that is the reality of me and my life ...topic over now.. we'll meet tomorrow, bye" i said as I disconnected the call without listening to her and i focused on my breathing which was quite heavy..and i closed my eyes and all those memories were rushing to my mind all those words.. bruises.. slaps.. punches.. kicking..the objects being thrown ..

I stood up and locked my door ...I started pacing back and forth in my room ..I was feeling very restless, again those memories and my mind playing those words and sounds on repeat I could feel my heartbeat ringing in my ears things started to blurr out and head felt as if it'll burst, i was not crying but the tears were rolling down my cheeks..I started gasping for air as if I'll drown and again that fear of abandonment..at this moment all I want is to vanish away and not feel anything..and I started searching my drawer for my blade I found it after a few seconds and i hold it firmly in my shaky hands after taking few heavy breaths I slide it across my left wrist slowly as I see the skin tearing and after 10 seconds the blood is oozing out of it ..I repeat that 2 more time till I am normal.. I'm still, completly still

After a few minutes I go that bathroom and wash the blade and my wound before putting a bandage to it i loo up to and see in the mirror..I keep starting at it..I don't know who I am staring at..I used to be so happy but now I don't even remember when was the last time I was truly happy..

I might be the person people around me think I am..the bold, funny, sarcastic person I am..but when I look at myself I see nothing as pathetic as I am but some things are not meant to be yours..so maybe that is why I don't know what to do when you're being given this respect and care.

I keep starting at the ceiling as I'm laying on my bed ...
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