Kendall was sure everyone else in the ward could hear his shouting through the walls, but he didn't care. Only moments before, some guy who Kendall rarely spoke to had decided he had a problem with James - he started telling everyone in the room he had no talent. James was annoyed, a little upset, sure, of course he was, but it was nothing compared to what Kendall felt. It always went this way. He could take most of what was thrown at him - he didn't really care - but the second it happened to someone he cared about, it was like a switch was flipped inside of him, and he couldn't control himself. Everything happened all at once - yelling, being aggressive, sometimes he even got physical - he hadn't hurt anybody yet, but he often wondered with dread if he would. When thinking about that, a situation like this came to mind. At some point he had stood up on the table. He didn't remember when, but he knew that now he was up there, yelling in the boy's ashen face.
"Dude, I didn't mean it, chill out!" He said, shrinking back.
"Chill out? How about you fucking apologise? Or can your tiny brain not comprehend what that means, as it clearly can't see that James has more talent than you ever will in your pathetic life! Does it make you feel better, being a jerk to everyone else? Do you feel good about yourself? Do you?" Kendall clenched his fists at his sides.
"Kendall, I'm okay, please calm down." James stood next to the table, reaching up to touch Kendall's arm.
"It doesn't matter, he's still a dick, he deserves this." But even as he said it, Kendall felt the anger subside slightly, giving way to sadness. This always happened. He would blow up, overreact, and then feel ashamed of himself. He looked over at the boy, and then back to James. Embarrassed now, he climbed down to the floor. Not wanting to, but knowing he should, and more importantly James would want him to, he apologised in a stiff voice, and let James lead him away to his room. James sat him down on the bed, where he stared at his feet.
"Are you mad at me?" He asked. It was a cliché question, but he still wanted to know.
"No. But I know it upsets you when you get like that - I wish you wouldn't, for your own sake."
"I'm sorry. I try not to." Kendall was quiet now, the complete opposite of himself just minutes ago. James sat down beside him, putting his arm around his waist.
"I know. You're going to get better, I know you will."
"What if I don't? And don't just say I will."
"If you don't, you don't. It's not the end of the world. I'll still love you." He kissed his cheek quickly.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"No matter what?" James nodded.
"I'll love you too."
