A Poet's Secret

Chapter 14

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"I'm gonna go get a drink" Ezra gets up and makes his way to one of the coolers and I  feel like utter shit. I know he still has feelings for me and that I've just pressed a knife into a wound that hasn't even started to heal. I still want to love Ez, I really do but now I get why I couldn't really commit to him. I hate that I still have feelings for her. And I want to blame her and say it's all her fault but there's no one else to blame but me for falling in love.

So instead of following Ezra, I leave the party like a dumbass. I leave my gifts and the cake, and I throw the birthday crown away, call an Uber, and go home to cry myself to sleep once again. A girl's birthday is never complete without her crying.

Ezra

I'm drunk.

Watching Zora kiss Sierra like that brought a rush of emotions I thought I got over. It's just frustrating because it's so obvious that Zora likes Sierra so much and Sierra is being a daft bitch and I  just feel so helpless.

Like, the girl I love is in love with someone who keeps hurting her unknowingly, but she still hurts her. Just because you didn't mean to do something doesn't mean the damage isn't already done. That's why manslaughter and homicide are both still charged as crimes.

I go to grab another drink when I see Sierra pass by me with a different girl heading upstairs.

"Damn dude you need to chill on the drinks," Dylan says taking the red cup from my hand

"Give it back Dylan" I  sigh

"No I  saw what happened earlier at the truth or dare thing and I  know it fucked you up because you're not over the breakup but you can't just drink and drown in your sorrows"

"Drowning in my sorrows has been working perfectly fine so I  don't see why I  can't just continue," I  say as I  try to grab my drink back from him but he pulls it away

"I know you're sad, what you need to do is sober up and go get your girl," he says, making a show of his point by pouring the alcohol down the sink and filling the cup with water instead then handing it to me and he stands to watch me drink it.

I take Dylan's advice and go to find Sierra.

I knock on the guest bedroom door and walk in to find Sierra in just a bralette and her jeans and her partner way more indecent with nothing on.

"What the fuck Ezra!" Sierra yells annoyed. The girl on the bed quickly covers herself with a blanket

"I need to talk to you"

"I'm a little busy at the moment bro" Sierra says infuriated

I glance at the girl on the bed "You, out"

"You can't order me around" she whines

"I  ts my fucking house I  can do whatever the hell  I  want and I  want you to get out." she shuts up and grabs her clothes and leaves.

"What the hell dude why are you being a cock block?" Sierra mutters as she puts her shirt back on

"What happened earlier was not okay Sierra" I  say my jaw setting

"What happened earlier?... oh the kiss?" she laughs
"It was just one kiss bro get over it if it's any consolation, I'm pretty sure she still likes you so you can get back together if that's what's got your panties in a twist"

"Don't you get it?! It wasn't just one kiss for her you imbecile!"

"What the fuck are you talking about?" she scrunches her eyebrows in confusion

I sigh, for fucks sake "You idiot, read her stupid journal… or whatever is left of it"

I leave her standing there baffled but I don't feel bad for it but as much as I  want Sierra humbled, it's not my secret to tell. On my way downstairs I heard the girl Sierra was starting to ask her who I was.

Despite the atmosphere of the living room still remaining lively, the mood has been significantly ruined. I turn off the music on the speakers and yell "Shut the fuck up everyone, party's over"

A series of groans and shouts echo my announcement.