A Poet's Secret

Chapter 4

Most Friday nights I love the peace and quiet that comes with my mom's absence at conferences out of state but Ezra really wanted to go to his friend Dylan's party tonight so here we are.

"Damn your friend is loaded '' I say as we make our way through the multitude of sweaty drunk teens.

Dylan's house was huge like mega massive rich guy type huge. Downstairs was obviously the only place he wanted people to be because there was caution tape blocking the wrap of stairs off. The place was giving very old-money vibes. There was a bar and seeing as the 'bartenders' were very drunk and definitely unqualified teenagers, I plan to stay away from there.

"Yeah I  don't even know what his parents do but they're never home so he always has huge ragers," Ezra said.

Some rap song was blasting over the speakers. Since all the bedrooms upstairs were blocked off, people were eating each other's faces off on the couches in the living room. Ezra and I make our way through the crowd trying to find a place to settle.

We enter another room that looks like a living room with a different set of couches though yet there was the same behavior from the horny motherfuckers basically fucking on the couches drunk out of their minds. I guess that's what's expected.

"Ez, why the fuck does he have 2 living rooms?"

"He actually has 3. Well according to him he only has one. The first one is was the living room, this is the living area, and the third is the parlor"

"What's the difference between a living room and a living area?" I  ask as we make our way to the 'parlor' which has significantly fewer people

"That's a question for either god or Google and I'm neither babe" he replies

"Where's Sierra?"

"Where do you think" I  roll my eyes playfully

"Why?"

"I was gonna go find Dylan and hang out with some guys for a little but you're gonna be all alone so I'll just  find him later"

"Nono you can go I'll just... make a friend"

"Zora honestly it's fine I'll just stay with you," he says smiling

"What? You don't believe I can make friends?" I  bring my head up to face him

He put both his arms around my waist "I  didn't say that" 

"Then go"

"Now you're just trying to get rid of me" he smirks as he presses his nose to mine

"Never" I smile as he brings my chin up till our lips meet.

At first, it was just a small peck but then I felt his tongue dive into my mouth. His fingers snake around the back of my neck pulling me in for more and I follow without protest. At that moment I forget that we're at a party and that there are people around watching us. I forget that we now look like one of the teenage couples I judged when we walked in. I  forget. I love that about Ezra. The way he kisses. He kisses like he wants you to remember every single detail of the kiss. He wants you to remember the glide of his tongue against yours, the grip of your waist when his huge hands have held onto you, he kisses like he wants you to remember the kiss forever, and to accomplish that, his kisses make you forget everything else.

I pull away flustered "That's unfair"

"Whatever do you mean" he tries to say innocently but his smug smirk shines through

"You're trying to distract me"

"Don't know what you mean" he says pulling me in again

I resist "Seriously Ez go hang out with your friends I'll be fine"

He waits another moment looking me in the eyes as if to ask if I'm sure and I nod.

"Okay fine, do you want anything to drink?"

"Anything that's blueberry flavored if they have it and make sure it's canned because I  don't want none of them cocktails those unqualified bartenders are shakin' up"

He laughs "Okay, okay I'll be right back," he says pecking me on the forehead before he leaves

Sighing, I walk around a little, finding a comfortable spot beside the stairwell. Even though I wanted Ezra to go hang out with his friends, which would usually be fine, I'm kind of bored because I can't seem to find Sierra. She came with us but she's been nowhere to be found after we stepped over the threshold of the door.

For someone who's hella loaded his wifi sure is shitty. I try to scroll on Instagram but there's no signal so I just shoot Sierra another text before I try to take in my very pleasant surroundings; drugs, alcohol, and teenagers grinding on each other to the really really bad rap music.

As I look around for a familiar face somewhere, I spot Sierra across the room. I try to yell for her but she becomes... preoccupied.

I see her with a girl, not Jenny, but another girl and they're kissing. Making out really. Sierra has her hands in the girl's wavy brown hair and the girl is pulling Sierra in by the belt loops of her baggy black jeans. Sierra's hands trail down the girl's body grazing past her chest and dropping to the girl's waist, her pink tube top exposed.

I'm ashamed to admit it but I was mesmerized. Jealous really, but I couldn't look away. I couldn't help but imagine the brunette girl to be me. I wish I were her, I wished Sierra was sticking her tongue down my throat and kissing a trail down my neck, slipping her hands down my body till she reached the end of my white pleated skirt. I wish Sierra was putting her hands up my skirt and doing unspeakable things to me as she whispered sweet nothings into my ear. I wouldn't care that we were in front of people or that there were people around us, I would only focus on her and want her only.

Even though I couldn't hear it over the loud music, I'm sure the girl was moaning Sierra's name as her leg quivered. Finally, her head rolled back to hit the wall and she closed her eyes in ecstasy as she finished. Sierra smiled as the girl panted and whispered something into her ear before they took each other by their hands and left no doubt to continue this whole encounter somewhere else.

I find myself panting, squeezing my thighs together.

This was creepy and I was weird watching but I  couldn't stop and now I  hate myself not just for wanting my best friend but also for having these disgusting thoughts. Why couldn't I  be normal and be happy for her that she's getting laid?

"Zora!" my head whips around so fast I'm scared that I  might get whiplash when I  hear Ezra's voice behind me

"What the heck? Were you watching them fuck?" he says warily, trying to comprehend what he'd just seen

"I  -" I  had nothing to say

He was hurt. I could see it in his eyes as he stuffed both his drink and the one that was meant to be mine into my arms before turning and leaving without another word.

Sighing, I took down the rest of his drink. I didn't know what it was but the burn that followed as the liquid slid down my throat was somewhat comforting. After nursing his, I took down the blueberry one that was meant for me. This drink didn't have as much burn but anything I could have was sufficient. I need liquid courage if I am gonna face Ezra again. I didn't want to lose him because I basically watched my friend make someone come.