𝐰𝐞 𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐨 𝐝𝐮𝐦𝐛 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐭
🥂🥂🥂
When she gets the call from her "brother", Kirsten practically jumps for joy at the opportunity to go to Vegas with her best friends for his bachelor party. She lives for a party, especially when it's...
"All right," Phil speaks on the way back to the hotel. "I think it's officially time we call Tracy."
"Hallelujah." Stu laughs as he drives the car. "Finally, Phil says something that makes sense."
"We don't have much of a choice." he shrugs. "And maybe she's heard from Doug. We just need to be completely honest. We need to tell her everything."
"We don't have to tell her everything." Stu shakes his head. "We can leave out the stuff about me marrying a hooker. Just stay focused on Doug."
"Can we also leave out the stuff about my tattoo and the stripping?" I lean my head in between them from the back seat. "I already have the feeling that she doesn't like me."
"What am I gonna tell my dad?" Alan looks like he's going to cry next to me.
"Alan, relax. It's just the inside." Phil turns to face him. "Come on. I got a guy in L.A. Who's great with interiors."
A blinding light burns my eyes before a car hits the side of the car. My body is thrown against Alan's, who holds my head in his lap, bursting into tears. Phil was also hit badly, holding the side of his face that was cut by the smashed window. People exit the car and walk over to us. The same guys from the chapel. Another man, with cowboy boots and a white suit, stalks towards us
"That's the guy from the trunk." Alan has the realisation.
"Get out of the car. Please." He says, calmly.
When we hesitate, he orders his men to pull us out of the car through the windows. I'm first, the man cupping his hands under my boobs as I struggle against his hold. When I'm out of my feet, I push him by his chest, shouting in his face. "Hey! Don't touch the merchandise." He leaves me to pull the other guys out.
"I want my purse back, assholes." The man growls.
"What? Your purse?"
"That's not a purse, it's a satchel," Alan whines.
"It's a purse. Okay?" The man shouts. "And you steal from wrong guy."
"Wait a second, wait a second. We stole from you?" Phil grunted. "Okay, you know what? We don't remember anything that happened last night so help us out a little here."
"Well, apparently you guys met at a craps table late last night." One of his hitmen speaks. "You were on a heater, and he played your hot streak. He ended up winning just under 80 grand."
"No shit? Eighty grand is nice." I raise my eyebrows.
"He put the chips in his purse," The man continues. "And then you guys took off with it."
"That doesn't sound like us." Stu shakes his head.
"Mine had $80,000 inside." The man groans. "And this one? Nothing."
Alan runs to pick up his bag as the man throws it on the ground. "Hey, there are Skittles in there." But the assistant punches him in the gut.
"Don't let the beard fool you." I roll my eyes. "He's a child."
"It's funny because he's fat." The man laughs.
"Now, look," Stu takes charge. "This was obviously a very simple misunderstanding. Alan picked up the wrong purse, it's no big deal."
"Okay, if it's no big deal, why, when I come after you guys" He points at Phil. "He starts screaming like crazy and throws me in trunk?"
"What, I did that?" Phil raises his eyebrows.
"Yeah," The assistant nods. "You said he was your lucky charm, and you want to take him home with you."
"That is pretty funny." I laugh along with Phil and Stu.
"Fuck you." The man shouts. "If you want to see your friend again, you get me my 80 grand."
"What?"
"Our friend?"
"You have Doug?" I exclaim.
One of the men bangs on the door of their car, making all of us look through the tinted window. Doug sits in the back seat, his hands bound together and a bag over his head. We all start to scream and bang on the window, not knowing what to do next.
"What do you want?" Phil shouts.
"Not so good now." The man taunts. "Quid pro quo, douche bag."
"Look," Phil negotiates. "We're very sorry. But this is an easy fix. Alan, where's his purse?"
"I don't know," Alan whines.
"It's in the hotel room, right?" I scold. "Yeah, we can get it."
"We can even write you a check right now." Stu panics.
"No chance. Cash only."
"There's a person in there." My voice cracks as I scream.
"Boring." He yawns. "Take nap. Come on." He starts to walk away.
"Wait. I'm sorry we're boring you!" I can't believe this asshole.
"Doug, it's okay," Phil speaks to him as they start to drive away.
"Bring money to Big Rock in Mojave Desert at dawn." He rolls down the window. "Toodle-oo, motherfucker."
I chase after the car. "Well, at least take the bag off his head!" But they drive away. "Fuck!"
