Somewhere in between 3

14.

Jasmin didn't wake up until 12:00 the next day. She was totally exhausted from last night.
She was still feeling the effects on her body.
Her head had calmed down, but she could still feel the pressure.
She got up and walked carefully into the living room to Hobie.
When the door opened, he switched off the TV and went over to his girlfriend.
"Hey, my dear", said to you in a gentle tone. "How are you feeling? Are you feeling better?", He looked closely at his girlfriend.
She wasn't as pale as yesterday, but she wasn't 100 percent fine.
"I'm feeling better", she replied.
"Thank you for being with me yesterday. I don't know what was wrong with me."
Hobie took her in his arms and gave her a kiss on the forehead.
"Would you like to tell me what happened?", he asked cautiously.
She nodded and walked slowly to the couch and settled down.
He followed her and put an arm around her shoulders as he sat down next to her.
She hesitated for a moment, not quite sure how to begin.
She knew she should have talked to Hobie about it before, but something was stopping her.
"For a few days now, as you've probably noticed, I haven't been feeling so good mentally. I felt something was wrong, something inside me. It felt like I was losing something inside me. As if a force was trying to snatch something from me, a part of me. I started shaking, my heart was beating faster and faster and my thoughts started going crazy. They gave me no peace. I kept hearing voices telling me that it was my fault, that it was me..
It was as if I no longer had any control over my body, my thoughts or myself. I felt like I was being remote controlled. And last night was probably the worst night I've ever had in my life. I woke up in a panic because deep down I felt something was broken. Something inside me. Within seconds, fear and panic spread more. I had lost control and was all emotions. I didn't know what I was doing or what I was saying, nor did I have control over what I was thinking. I just knew something was wrong."

Hobie looked at her with wide eyes.
He was shocked by what he was hearing.
He couldn't believe what his girlfriend was going through.
What torture that must have been.
Those voices and those thoughts didn't seem to stop.
It was like torture, he thought to himself.
He took her in his arms and gave her a kiss on the cheek.
„I'm so sorry, my love. I wish I could take the pain away from you. I wish I could undo everything." Jasmin smiles at her boyfriend.

She knew he only meant well and she really appreciated what he did for her. Without him, she might already be lost.
Without him, she might not even be here.
"I'm grateful to you for everything Hobid. You are always there for me. You're by my side to make sure I'm okay. You Comfort me when I'm sad and protect me when I lose control."
He took her hand and stroked it gently with his thumb.

He loved her so much.
There was no other person he loved more than her.
He had never felt such great fear as he had yesterday.
He had thought he was going to lose her right there in front of him, looking at him as if she had seen a ghost.
"What happened that you suddenly became so calm? He asked gently. You seem, well, like you've seen a ghost."
Jasmin sighed and took a deep breath.
Now she had to tell him, now she had to explain her theory to him.
„At that moment, I had a flash of insight. As if I suddenly knew where all this was coming from, why I felt like this. Why I was losing control of myself. She paused for a moment and looked at him. Hobie I think my world is collapsing."
There was silence for a moment.

He didn't really know what to say. He had heard that there had been an earthquake on Jasmin's earth.
But that it was going to collapse?
She saw his questionable look.
"It's an inner feeling hobby to me. I can't really explain it. I just feel it."
"And what do you want to do?" he asked. She swallowed hard.
„I have to go back to my world."Hobie's blood froze in his veins and the air caught in his throat. "You want what?" He asked, horrified.
Jasmin knew that he would be delighted to hear this news.
He was probably just trying to protect her.
„Hobie, I have to go back. I have a feeling it's my fault."
"But you don't know that", Hobie protested.
"No, I don't know that. But something inside me says that I have to go back. I've been away for far too long."
„No, Jasmin," Hobby pleaded.
"You mustn't go. If your world collapses, then you're in danger."
"But what if it's really my fault? What if I have to save this planet?"
Hobie's heart ached.He didn't want her to go. He was too afraid for her.
„My dear, you are in danger not only as far as your planet is concerned.
Miguel is just waiting for you to return.
He plans to capture you there and then throw you out of the community once and for all."
"How do you know that?" she asked in surprise. "Gwen found out when Miguel talked to Andrew about it. Jasmin, you can't go. Too much is at stake. Your life is at stake."
He was getting nervous and his voice sounded worried.
„But my planet is at stake too," Jasmin became louder.
„I can't hide from Miguel any longer. I'm tired of running away from him. I'm tired of being on guard, no matter where I am. I won't be intimidated by Miguel's plans!"
She stood up, determined that she would leave. Hobie's fear mingled with frustration.
"No, Jasmin! You stay here," he almost commanded.
„You have no idea what awaits you there. If he gets you, you're out of the community. Do you realize what that means?" Hobie was getting louder and louder.
He didn't understand why Jasmin wanted to go back to her world.
Although, he did understand.
He just didn't want to understand.
He was afraid that she would be caught by Miguel and he would never see her again.
He wanted to protect her.
She's the most important thing to him.
„Of course I know what that means. But do you also understand what it means for me? I feel like I have to go back. Something inside me says I have to go back to my planet Hobie. I can't stay here any longer and I won't stay here any longer. I've already made up my mind."
Hobie didn't know what hit him. His anger grew.

„For fuck's sake, Jasmin. How many times do I have to explain this to you? You're in danger. Stay here. You're safest here."
„You don't understand Hobie. This is my planet. My parents live there. And it's in danger of collapsing. I'm not going to risk it just to be safe."
Hobie got furious and was shocked.
He just couldn't believe what she was saying.
He tried his hardest to convince her that she would stay here, but she wouldn't.
„Why are you being so fucking stubborn? I'm just trying to protect you and you're so selfish and just want to run away?"
Jasmin was shocked. His words hit her. He had never spoken to her like that before.
„I'm selfish, even though I want to try to understand what's going on with my planet?"
„You're only thinking about yourself right now. You have no idea how you're making me feel. How you're hurting me right now!" Hobie spoke out of anger and sadness.
It was just emotions talking to him.
„You're hurting me!" she yelled back.
„This is my life, my planet and my choice!" "You'll kill yourself!" he shouted at her. It was too much for Jasmin.
She was no longer in the mood for this discussion and disappeared from the living room.

(Listen to the song „built to be bad" by Grace Gachot as the outro)