Never Let Me Go

Chapter 5. All is revealed

With a mischievous glint in her eyes. Lucy pulled Tim further into her apartment, shutting the door behind them. The click of the lock sent a thrill coursing through both of them. Ignoring everything around them they kicked off their shoes as they stumbled deeper into the bedroom, their lips never parting. Their tongues tangled together in a sensual dance that left them both reeling. Tims hand wandered higher up, cupping her breasts possessively as he lifted her up against him. She wrapped her legs around his waist instinctively, arching her back to meet his hungry kisses as he left hickeys all over her bare neck. The passion created an intoxicating aroma that filled the room. Lucy pulled his shirt off, whilst he just pulled her dress down revealing her bra,their exposed skin had fuelled the growing fire. Tim's hands travelled up Lucy's spine, stopping just short of her bra clasp. He nipped at her earlobe, sending shivers down her spine. "Tell me you want this.." he breathed against her neck. She whimpered "i-i want this.." she stuttered out, her face all flustered as she arched her back further into his hold. With one swift move he had unclasped her bra and tossed it aside, revealing her perfect breasts bouncing free. She was so perfect, she was like a goddess..

Within seconds, Lucy's hands fumbled with his belt buckle, eager to feel his skin against hers. They stumbled back, as the moonlight shone through the window. Tim's muscular frame stood in stark contrast to Lucy's delicate curves. As he laid her down on the bed she ran her fingers through his hair. Their kisses turned fierce and demanding. Suddenly, Tim found himself pulling down her dress further, Lucy winced as it dawned on her..

Her fucking self harm. She drunkenly went to go push his hands away, but she was too late. He had a full view of her thighs.. her bloody, cut up thighs. Her breathing hitched as she waited for a reaction. Tim froze mid-movement, his eyes wide with horror as his eyes glazed over her scarred and wounded thighs. Fresh tears welled up in her eyes as she realised she had completely forgotten about the mental breakdown she had a few days previous which led to her cutting herself up. She tried to push him away as she attempted to cover them up, but he held her tight, refusing to let her hide anymore. "Lucy.. we need to talk about this..." he whispered hoarsely brushing tears from her cheeks with tender fingers.

Lucy buried her face in his chest, ashamed of herself and the mess she had become. "It doesn't.. matter.." she spoke tearfully, hoping he wouldn't press her further. However, Tim refused to be dismissed so easily. "Did you do this to yourself?" he asked quietly as he tried to look at her face for a reaction. "I-i no! get out!" she stuttered, her mind a mess. Her eyes were filled with fear and hurt. Tim staggered backwards, feeling so incredibly helpless as she curled into herself. For a moment, Tim debated on arguing or even pleading his case, but ultimately decided against it. He knew there was time for explanations, but right now all that mattered to him was giving her the space she needed to sort through her whirlwind of emotions, she was also so very drunk. His heart ached as he grabbed two paracetamols and a glass of water - putting it on her bedside, they'd come in use for the major hangover that was approaching her in the morning. Tim walked to his house, deep in thought- seeing that sight.. It had sobered him up completely..

Lucy could hear his footsteps getting further away, until finally the door slammed shut, leaving her alone with nothing but silence and her thoughts. She collapsed onto the floor, hugging her knees tightly to her chest. The room seemed to shrink around her as she sobbed and sobbed, it closed in on her until there was no escape from the suffocating darkness. She cursed herself for being so incredibly stupid, for letting someone in who clearly couldn't handle the weight of her dark secrets. Most of all she cursed the demons that haunted her, they'd ruined something that was truly special and now it would be tainted forever.

Lucy dragged herself out of bed wincing at the throbbing headache that threatened to split her skull into two. Last night lingered like a bad taste in her mouth as she remembered all that transpired between her and tim. She felt sick. He had seen her cuts, would he report her?

As she made her way to the station she steeled herself for a day of pretending, a day of pretending that she had in fact not had that alteration with her training officer last night. She spent the day avoiding and ignoring tim. Tim watched as Lucy busied herself in paperwork, he couldn't help but feel a twinge of anger simmering beneath the surface. She was ignoring him? They needed to talk about what he saw last night..

Tim walked over to where Lucy was sitting, grabbing her arm firmly and pulling her into a supply closet. Once inside, he closed the door behind them and then immediately turned to face her. "Look, we can't keep avoiding this." he said, his voice low and urgent. "You're hurting yourself lucy, and I won't stand for it." before she could protest he put his finger to her lips. "No talking needs to come from those pretty lips, unless you're explaining." Lucy looked at him with a pout. Her eyes filled with tears. "I don't know how to stop.." she whispered, her voice barely audible. "Sometimes the only thing keeping me alive is the pain.." Tim's heart broke upon hearing those words leave her mouth. He wanted nothing more than to take away her pain and shield her away from the harsh realities of life. Gently, he pulled her into a hug- rocking them both back and forth. "I don't feel pretty.." she whispered.

Lucy shook her head, tears streaming down her face. "Tim.. you don't understand these scars make me ugly.. they ruin me. Nobody wants to be with somebody who looks like this." her voice trembled with self loathing. But Tim wouldn't have any of it. He pulled away from her, looking deep into her eyes. "I don't ever want to hear those words leave your mouth again, you're fucking perfect Lucy. I want you.. ever since day one, your beauty has entrapped me. The way you laugh, the way you smile, the way your lips pout whenever you can't get your words out. Even if every single inch of your body was covered in scars and cuts, I'd still choose you over anyone else in the world." His words hit her like a ton of bricks, an angelic smile tugging at her lips. Tim smiled as he wiped her tears away, "there's that pretty smile I love to see.." he whispered. Lucy blushed furiously. She felt so understood, and maybe there was hope..

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-E