Hao looks at Hanbin, confused by what the other has just said. He starts to ask Hanbin what he means by that but is interrupted by the door opening.
"Sorry to interrupt," Jaehyun says as he enters the room, causing Hao to stand up and Hanbin to wipe away his tears.
"Hao can you leave us alone, my fa-"
"What's the problem with him being here?" Hanbin asks angrily and Hao looks at him surprised, he can sense how upset Hanbin is.
"It's okay love, I've already texted Ricky to come and pick me up" he says to Hanbin, as he bends down and puts his hand on his cheek.
"Call me later," Hao says as he places his lips on Hanbin's, forming a deep peck. He gets up, says goodbye to Jaehyun and leaves the room, texting Ricky and leaving the brothers alone.
A silence surrounds as Hanbin sits on the bed, and Jaehyun approaches doing the same as him.
"Your boyfriend is a really good guy" he says smiling and Hanbin nods, wiping the tears from his face, "Hanbin don't listen to what they say, if I'd known earlier that this was how you felt none of this-"
"Your words mean nothing," Hanbin replies dryly, looking at the floor.
"It's not my fault for the words they say, I could have been a better brother but you have to understand my side"
"Your side? Did you even try to understand mine?" Hanbin says shocked, "You left home straight away when you turned 18 and didn't even bother to visit me"
"Im sorry Bin, I never intended to come back here. I needed some space" Jaehyun says choking on his words. Hanbin wipes away his tears and looks him in the eye
"Why? You are the perfect child, everything you do is perfection, the best student, the best player, the nicest boy" Hanbin says laughing and Jaehyun presses his lips together.
"They see you too-"
"No Jae, they don't" Hanbin says between sobs, "To them I'm just a fake of you, and it's all my fault for becoming that"
"Of course it's not your fault" Jaehyun replies, putting his hand on Hanbin's shoulder and he moves away.
"I'm the one who chose to be like that" Hanbin admits, looking down at the floor. "You know I wasn't like that, our parents always criticized me for being more rebellious and for always shouting or talking super loud, they always criticized me for not being like you, and when I finally did they still criticized me"
"Bin..."
"I'm not you, and I never will be. I've made up my mind, but now I can't just stop studying to be the best student or they'll hate me." Jaehyun looks at Hanbin worried, who continues to shed more and more tears.
"Of course you're not me, and I don't want you to be"
"You're so lucky, you never had to stay up late studying, spend tons of time practicing for an important game, have student council paperwork to do and have a reputation to maintain at school" Hanbin says looking at Jaehyun, "Because you're just perfect, I'm not perfect, I'm a loser who tried to follow the ways of his brother who is his great inspiration to make the people around him see him and be proud, but it seems that it only led to comparing me more to you"
Hanbin takes a deep breath before continuing, "I thought, if I started acting like you, people would stop comparing me and would be proud of me like everyone else is of you, but guess what, I was wrong" he says shrugging and letting out an ironic laugh, as he wipes away his tears.
"Let me tell you a secret" Jaehyun says and Hanbin looks at him, "You know, one of the main reasons I got the grades I did was because I cheated a lot. I wasn't as smart as you think, I had the help of a boy, who said he would help me pass tests and explain the subject to me if I did something in return."
YOU ARE READING
crossed hearts || haobin
Fanfiction"I need us to pretend to be in a relationship" Zhanghao never expected that the boy he most envies would ask him to pretend to be in a relationship with him, and Hanbin never expected that the only opportunity he had to get close to his crush would...
