It had happened three times already. They say once is an accident, twice a coincidence, and three times a pattern. And this was definitely becoming a pattern.
The first time it happened, Namjoon had had a long day at work. Long days at the BigHit building weren't out of the ordinary, let alone Namjoon being the overworking artist he was. He was preparing himself for a big meeting with the executive board to prevent a certain campaign from happening. It was a topic he didn't want BTS associated with, something that just didn't suit their goals nor their style. There had been a few hiccups during the day, resulting in him being far behind in preparing the presentation, so he had to stay at the company for a few hours longer after all the other members had left.
Really, he didn't think much of it when it happened. He had ordered some food, went to town on the greatest PowerPoint he had ever made, and headed home to get a few hours of sleep in before the next day. To him, it seemed only normal that he felt dizzy, his vision a little blurry, and his mind a little fuzzy. He blamed it on his sleepiness, because really, that was all there was to it, wasn't it?
But with blurry vision and a fuzzy mind, he almost didn't notice the car that came his way as he crossed the road walking home. It raced at him, honking for him to get out of the way, and only with half a mind did he manage to jump back just in time.
It was scary, but more than being tired wasn't to blame, right?
The second time, a day or two later, the workday had started earlier than usual and Namjoon had to lead the group from place to place for various photoshoots. The entire morning consisted of shooting and Namjoon stayed up to date with the schedule and everything that needed to be done. The entire afternoon consisted of dance practice, which went as well as it could go, without any of them getting injured or frustrated.
Again, things seemed to become fuzzy somewhere in the evening, after Namjoon had taken off to his own studio and had dinner there. The members had asked him to come along with them as they went to a restaurant to eat, but Namjoon had lyrics to finish. There were days he could push deadlines further back, but that day he couldn't afford it.
The fuzzy feeling in his head increased the more he tried to focus on the lyrics he wanted to write. He couldn't seem to think of the right words, couldn't come up with anything, really. And again, was that really a strange thing to happen? Namjoon didn't think so. He had felt dizzy after such busy days before, he had had difficulty coming up with lyrics before.
But he did have a strange feeling in his gut. The way he couldn't think straight seemed to bother him and he hoped it would get better if he just slept for a few more hours that night.
The third time it happened was a few days later. This was the first time he was with the members when his mind seemed to turn fuzzy.
In the middle of the late-night meeting the seven of them were having with two producers, Namjoon's thoughts seemed to have left him almost completely. He unknowingly ignored questions or trailed off when it was his turn to speak. He felt out of control, the whole meeting seeming to pass in a blur.
Hoseok had asked him what was wrong in front of everyone, but Namjoon just told them he was tired. They had had a lot of long and tiring days in a row, so the answer didn't come as a surprise. Jimin and Hoseok firmly told him he had to rest a little longer, and Namjoon agreed.
After all, he always told the members not to go over their limits, to take time to rest if their body told them it was needed. And Namjoon was a logical thinker, he logically assumed the dizziness and the zoning-out had to be his body telling him he needed more sleep.
So that's why he took a day off the next day.
That evening, he was in his room, scrolling on his phone and listening to some chill music while taking a spoonful of the sujebi he had ordered. He had ordered it along with some fried chicken, because why not? It was his day off, he could have some fried chicken dammit.
Just as he had finished the soup, he got a video call from Jimin. Namjoon looked at the screen with a smile and answered the call, holding the phone half up to his face. He had to blink a few times to focus on Jimin's face on the screen.
"Namjoon-hyunggg~," Jimin called out, pouting.
Namjoon raised an eyebrow in amusement. "Yo, Jimin, what's up?"
"Hear this! Hoseokie-hyung said we need to stay longer to practice. And you know why? He said I was too slow! Hyunggg, talk to Hobi-hyunggg, he's being too mean to us!"
Namjoon chuckled, the sound almost foreign to his ears, but he paid it no mind. "You were slow yesterday too, Jimin-ah. Hoseokie isn't mean, he's just honest. But you shouldn't take much longer, it's going to be way past midnight by the time you get home."
He felt himself get tired as well. The evening was getting late, he didn't want the others to stay out for much longer either.
"Right! Tell him it's too late, hyunggg, tell him!"
Namjoon chuckled again, though it turned into a yawn that he tried to hide from Jimin. But Jimin, ever so observant, stopped pouting and looked at the phone with worried eyes.
"Hyung, you've been very tired lately. Go to bed soon, okay? We won't be home too late, you don't have to worry about staying up."
Namjoon heard what Jimin said, he really did. He thought he answered, but Jimin asked him again and it confused Namjoon.
"Hyung, go to bed soon, yeah?"
"Yeah, I told you I would," Namjoon mumbled, staring at the phone.
"You didn't say anything, hyung. You were quiet for a full minute, just... staring. Are you okay? If you're tired, just go to sleep, it's okay. I'll tell Hoseokie-hyung that we have to go home soon, okay?"
Namjoon nodded. He put the phone on the desk in front of him, rubbing his eyes with his fists. God, his head was fuzzy again. He had rested the entire day, just chilling on the couch, eating food, sleeping. He hadn't felt dizzy at all, and his mind had seemed clearer than the past three days. But now? Now the fog was back.
"-Joon. Namjoon. Hey-"
Namjoon could hear Jimin's voice, but exhaustion settled in full force and he fell into a deeper daze.
"-tta go home, he's not responding- .... -get the others-"
Somewhere in the back of his mind, Namjoon understood that Jimin was worrying. That Jimin wasn't even talking to him directly anymore. Jimin's voice was panicked. But Namjoon couldn't feel any of that, he felt pushed far back. Black spots were forming around the edges of his vision.
Oh, was he going to pass out?
Maybe he had to lie down.
Yeah, lie down. Sleep. He had to go to bed. Wasn't that what Jimin asked of him?
Without another look at his phone, he pushed himself up with his hands on the desk. His arms were shaking, he saw. That was a little strange. But then he took a step away from the desk, towards his bed, and his legs were shaking too. Huh.
He was out before he knew it, never even reaching the bed.
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Dazed || BTS Namjoon Fanfiction
FanfictionDazed /deɪzd/ adjective 1.unable to think or react properly; bewildered. Namjoon seems to zone out a lot, leading to dangerous situations as it gets worse and worse. Is the stress of being Bangtan's leader causing this, or is something bad going on...