I was sitting at my desk, just doing my homework from earlier cause I had forgotten. It was 11:43 PM. Even if it's math, I can't even concentrate anymore after what happened yesterday with akito. I thought we could be friends for longer, but I genuienly failed badly over there. Now he hates me.
I don't feel like there's anyone I can trust anymore other than nene or emu, or my mother. Everyone's just going away and it's so tiring to me, that I'm soon just going to give up.
I don't want to talk about it to anyone... I don't even want to---
"Oh, that's it. I don't need to go to school, my mother wouldn't know. After I come back there, I'll just tell them that I was sick." I say to myself, looking up at my window again.
The stars kept on shining. They wouldn't leave. One of the stars ominously shine more than the others... it can't mean anything though.
I go to my bed, and tuck myself up into my blanket.
...
No one's POV
In the morning
Rui had just gotten up, and he looks around his room. He checks the time; 7:56 AM. Like he had said, he's going to stay home for today, not caring if he's actually sick or not. All of the stuff that had happened 2 days ago was too much for him.
The day went pretty fast, and it was boring. There wasn't really anything to do, or eat. Rui hasn't eaten anything after breakfast which was 7 hours ago.
(yes, I put a timeskip. 😿)
Rui's POV
I heard a knock on the door. Akito? No, it can't be, he doesn't know where I live. I walk to the door and open it... nene.
"Hey, rui... why weren't you at school today? Are you sick?" She asks, her usual quiet demeanor showing as always.
"Oh... I was a bit sick earlier, yeah."
...
"Quit lying."
"What?"
She wouldn't know.
"I'm not lying, nene. I'm not that type of guy to just stay home when nothings actually wrong."
"I know that something happened yesterday, rui. Akito today seemed pretty upset, while talking with Toya. And I heard your name mentioned from them. Nothing bad, just heard that something had happened between you and akito."
"...but why would you just listen into their- nevermind. To put that aside, it's not a big thing. Just.. didn't let akito protect me from some guy who was basically trash talking about me right infront of him, and then he got mad." I tell her, looking away and fidgeting with my fingers. How does she always know? Goodness.
"But why wouldn't you let him protect you..?" She asks now.
"I don't wanna make akito do too much work, you know... we already did so much work on the project, and his art made it 100 times better, so I don't see why I should let him protect me."
"That's sweet, rui. But it doesn't mean that you can't protect yourself either. You know that, right?"
...
We both sat on my bed in my room. I hug my knees as I sit, looking down into my legs, frowning.
"You know, I'm worried about your state, rui. You're being so.. I don't know, careless about yourself. It's after tsukasa passed away. You have me and emu, you know? There's no need for you to be like... this, when you know that we can protect you."
Nene says quietly, trying to put her hand onto my shoulder. I look over at her, eyes narrowing.
"Yes, I know, but tsukasa was the.. one I loved.." I mutter out quietly.
"If he's the only one you actually could be with, then go with him. You're basically just calling me and emu useless."
Her soft voice turned colder, I think to myself.
"You guys aren't useless, of course not! I just... miss tsukasa alot. The stars in the sky remind me of him, that shirt in the closet he gave me on Christmas, I wear it, the sun reminds me of him, the sunset reminds me of him, the sky sometimes reminds me of him, orange cats remind me of him, oh my god there's too much.. I just can't stop thinking about him anymore, and I don't know how to make it stop..."
"You're literally obsessed with him. That's more than just missing him."
"Can you literally just stop worrying about me? I am fine. Completely fine, and no matter how much you deny it, it'll always be true. Im tired of you worrying about me when EVERYTHING is fine."
...
"I'm trying my best for you, and you're always just worrying and worrying and worrying til I'm sad of your state again and everything goes downhill, until we're both miserable. Can't you just TRY to not worry about me? I get that you care, yes, but it's a too much. I bet emu is even jealous of how much you care for me and not her."
"...shit", I think now.
"..."
"...wow, rui."
"You've basically done the exact same thing as akito now. Not letting me help you. Can't you fucking see that you're not fine?! You've literally been starving yourself and taking less showers, obsessing over tsukasa, take a look at yourself!" Nene yells, her eyes narrowing towards me.
"I care about you and emu SO much, and now you're backing away? What is wrong with you? We want you to live happily even if tsukasa died!"
"SHUT UP!" .
"Shut the FUCK up. Do I look like someone you would CARE for? No. You only care about me just because emu does, isn't that why?!" ...
"That's not true! We met a long time before emu met me!"
"So what? You were so careless back then, and suddenly, when emu came back, you run up to me everytime we see, hug me til I'm giggling, and back then, you'd just wave."
"Maybe cause I was younger and didn't understand?"
"I was young, and I literally gave you hugs everytime we saw eachother."
"That still doesn't mean I don't care about you!"
"Shut up and don't say anything anymore. Go away. NOW." (😿.... rah)
...
No one's POV
Nene had left the house. Rui was sitting on his bed, tears rolling down his face.
"Why did it have to go this way..." he thought to himself, trembling as he squeezes his arms around his knees more.
"I'm always the one making others sad.. now nene.. she's probably going to tell everything to emu, and I'll lose them too. I hate myself for that. I could've just told her that I don't want to talk about it, cause I know she wouldn't force me."
Rui looks out of the window, and suddenly he feels something forcing him to get out of the house in his head. He looks around, and sees how the sky for some reason was just red. Rui felt intense emotions at this point.
(Hes seeing hallucinations. It's inspired by pjskbsso, when ena jumps off..! Pjskbsso is a very good roblox pjsk game, it's like an au. Recommend playing it if you haven't!!
Project Sekai, but something seems off... is the actual name)
Maybe...
It's time?
YOU ARE READING
"the pain will never end, will it?" || ruikasa angst <3
Romancean AU where tsukasa had committed, after saki had passed away due to her sickness. tsukasa knew that it'll be hard for rui to cope with this, but he just couldn't hold it in anymore. rui got to witness this happening infront of his eyes, after he go...
