"Burn it all"

I can't seem to have enough

Kellin's POV

I wake up covered in sweat and blood.

I look around my room, my vision still slightly hazy from my sorrow-filled relapse.

I find that I've cut myself which I do not remember in the slightest. 

My body has open wounds, scabs that have re-opened, and fully healed scars.

I groan in disapproval as I stand up and walk to the bathroom.

I strip off my clad and start the shower, getting in. The water stings my open cuts but I gaslight myself into believing I like it. 

Tears start forming in my eyes, clouding my vision as I start sobbing. 

I am so ashamed of my actions, I swore to myself never to take part in such unhealthy coping skills ever again; yet here I am. 

I turn off the shower and step out without doing anything about cleaning myself. 

I dry off my damaged skin and get dressed in clean clothes. I check my phone to see a paragraph from Gianna. 

Gianna: Kellin, I'm so sorry for crying. I know nothing I say will make you forgive me but I am so sorry and I understand if you don't want to be with me anymore. I know I'm annoying and I'm trying my best. I am trying!

Kellin: You're fine, Gianna. This situation doesn't even warrant an apology like this, it's not like you killed my dog.

Gianna: Okay, I'm sorry!

Oh my fuck. 

Kellin: Are you out of the hospital? 

Gianna: Yes, Marie is driving me home now. 

Kellin: Stop by tonight, okay? I miss you.

Gianna: Awwwwwwwwww okay :)

Kellin: Good. See you then. 

I feel like doing more heroin