Things We Wish We Had Said Or Did.

Mentions Of Suicide

if i'm at peace, will you be too?
do you ever wish you never opened
the door to my room?

my stuffed animals stare at my body
beady eyes, fabric ragged with time
they're lined up on the edge of my bed
all of them other than one
I've had this teddy bear since I was two days old
he's wrapped in my arms
I wanted to go with something I know
I just want to go home

the air is stagnant and heavy
and light filters through the blinds
fuck, I thought I closed them this time
at least I made my bed, right?
will you remember me, family?
can you forgive for lying?

the wood beneath my feet rots
soaked in my own blood
I barricaded my door so no one will find me
not until I am a shell,
hollow and cold,
my door locked and my heart is stone
please do not find me here
I want to be alone

bid me adieu, come say your farewells
I laid out the outfit I want to wear for show and tell
show me off, tell my stories
cry and yell, whatever is comforting
i'm so sorry, this is advanced notice
i'm so very sorry for what is coming

all fours of my alarms go off at once
it was alawyas hard for me to get up in the morning
this time they blare on and on and on and
something is very wrong
turn the doorknob and notice it's locked
papi, i'm begging you, don't do this to yourself
you'll try and erase this moment forever
as you stand frozen in shock.