Lost in Translation

Chapter 20: Netflix and Not-Chill

———Ben———

Sunday, May 26th, 2019

I was so nervous when I showed up at Anthony's. I had no idea what to expect, and after last night, I didn't know if he had any... expectations or if I would be able to meet them if he did. I was so on edge that I ended up being about 15 minutes early. When he said he wanted to stay in, my nerves got worse.

It seemed like there wasn't much reason to worry, though, because Anthony seemed more freaked out than I was. He couldn't seem to stay in one place for more than a minute. He also kept positioning himself out of reach, so I doubted he had any expectations for something physical to happen today.

When he pulled out the Hawaiian pizza, I felt something burst in my chest. It wasn't a huge deal, or it shouldn't have been, but it felt like one. The fact that he invited me on a date seven hours after our last date and still managed to find my favorite type of pizza, even though he hated it, made me feel light and bubbly. Even though my anxiety was still present (as always), it was amazing to feel this much positive feeling coming through the bond.

After we were done eating, Anthony grabbed my plate before disappearing momentarily into the kitchen. I reached out to grab a handful of popcorn and froze when I touched the bowl, wheels turning in my head. I quickly snatched the bowl and put it in my lap as Anthony came back into the living room.

He perched on the opposite end of the couch and pressed play. A few seconds later, I held out the bowl slightly and said, "Want some?" My heart was pounding. Time froze for a second, and I worried I was doing too much or being too obvious.

"Sure," Anthony said with a slight nod, to my relief. I kept the bowl close to me and felt a sense of victory as Anthony scooted closer to the middle of the couch to reach the bowl. I was staring at the screen, but my attention was on Anthony.

I had a goal in mind but didn't want to spook him by moving too fast. I started testing the waters, using excuses like reaching for something on the coffee table to brush up against him. He tensed up the first few times, but after a while, he seemed to relax just a bit.

My chance arrived as Anthony leaned forward to grab a candy bar. I reached my arm out just in time for him to lean back so my arm was around him. I felt a moment of fear as he came in contact with me and froze. I gently tugged him towards me, and my fear half turned to excitement as he let me pull him against my chest.

"This ok?" I asked softly. I felt like if I made any sudden movements, he'd bolt.

"Yeah," Anthony replied. His voice came out as a rough whisper, and I could feel his heart hammering.

"Good," I said. I couldn't help but smile at the effect I was having on him. I leaned back and settled back to pretending to watch this movie. Anthony was completely stiff for a while, but eventually, I felt him relax and lean more into me.

My heart was doing all kinds of calisthenics. I tried to keep up a casual facade so I didn't scare him, but I was flying on cloud 9. Kristen and I never cuddled, and I never particularly wanted to, so I didn't know it would be like this. I didn't want it to end.

"Want to watch another one?" I said once the movie was over. I kept a smile on, but inside I was freaking out. I didn't want to let go of him.

"Yeah, okay," Anthony said softly. I beamed and started flipping through the movie selections. I don't think it mattered too much; Anthony didn't seem to be paying much more attention than I was, so I found a romantic comedy I'd seen with Val a while ago and turned it on.

I reached out and grabbed one of Anthony's hands. I just held his hand at first, giving him the chance to pull away if he wanted to, but he didn't. My chest felt warm as I played with his fingers, examining every detail. I didn't know it was possible to be this fascinated with someone.

About halfway through the movie, Anthony's head landed on my shoulder. I shifted to look at him, and he slid so his head was on my lap. I let out a shaky breath as I realized he was fast asleep.

I grabbed one of the throw pillows and put it under his head so he would be more comfortable. As soon as I did, he shifted and snuggled up against me with a sleepy murmur. His hair tie had fallen out. I hesitated for a second before running a shaking hand through his hair.

He made another noise, and I froze, but he didn't wake up. Once I was sure he was still asleep, I resumed what I was doing. His hair felt so soft. I still felt a little bit of anxiety, but now my excitement and the positive resonance of the bond were winning out.

The movie ended, and I let it stay on the home screen. I was scared that Anthony would wake up if I reached for the remote, and I'd much rather continue to sit here like this. After about an hour of this, the front door started to open.

"I'm back. Make sure you guys are d—" James froze as he caught sight of Anthony and locked eyes with me as I made a shushing gesture. He broke into a grin and then tiptoed past me to head up the stairs quietly.

It was too late, though. As James disappeared up the stairwell, Anthony stirred before his eyes shot open, and he bolted straight up.

"What— I— fuck..." he stammered. "Uh, sorry, I guess I... fell asleep."

"It's ok, really," I said quickly. "You seemed really tired."

"Yeah, I... didn't sleep much last night, I guess," Anthony said without meeting my gaze. I felt a bit of apprehension as he scooted away from me. There was an awkward silence where neither of us said anything, and Anthony continued to avoid eye contact.

"Um, well, it's getting pretty late. I guess I should be going," I said as I stood up. Anthony walked me to the door and awkwardly hovered as I put on my shoes.

"I had fun. Good night, Anthony," I said.

"Um, yeah. Good night," Anthony replied in a mumble. I was sort of hoping for a kiss, but he was even more distant than he was before the movie. I chalked it up to him being really tired. There was always next time. I gave a small wave and headed towards my truck to begin the trip home.