———Anthony———
Tuesday, May 28th, 2019
I listened to James make excuses for me to who I assumed was Ben, based on James' responses. I was bundled up under several heavy blankets on the couch with a Netflix show James had paused on the TV. I didn't feel as bad as I had Sunday night, but the idea of... well, anything to do with leaving the house aside from driving back to Savannah made me feel like my skin was crawling.
James went into the kitchen, and I heard him bustling around. He returned, set a short vase full of bright, colorful flowers on the coffee table, and disappeared back into the kitchen. The next time he came back, he handed me a large, steaming mug with a spoon sticking out of it.
"I told Ben you were sick when he asked where we've been, so he came by with soup," he explained. "I know you aren't hungry, but you've barely eaten the last few days. It would be great if you could try eating at least some of it."
I said nothing but gave a slight nod and sipped at the soup. I squeezed my eyes shut as a spike of guilt hit me. It was really good, obviously homemade. The flowers must have been from his garden, too.
James sat back down and unpaused the show. We were already on season three, but I honestly couldn't even tell you the main characters' names. Although it took much longer than it normally would have, I finished the mug and wordlessly handed it to James.
"Do you... want more?" James asked in surprise.
"No. Um... could I have my phone?" I replied. James' already raised eyebrows jumped higher as he said "Sure," and headed upstairs. He returned with my phone and handed it to me with an uncharacteristically nervous look on his face.
I felt another wave of guilt as I saw how many missed messages I had from both Ben and Darius. I knew I wasn't being fair to Ben.
Me: The soup was good, thank you.
Me: The flowers are very nice, too.
Ben: Oh, no problem
Ben: Thanks : )
Me: You didn't do anything wrong. I just... haven't been feeling well. I'm sorry.
Ben: Oh, that's good
Ben: It's ok
Ben: I was feeling a little paranoid
Ben: I hope you feel better soon
It wasn't untrue that I felt like shit, but I felt like I was lying to him by letting him believe I was sick. Before I got a chance to respond, another message came in that made my stomach drop.
Ben: I miss you
"Ant? Everything ok?" James asked, his voice laced with worry. I squeezed my eyes shut as I felt them welling up with tears. I had felt numb the past three days, but now it felt like I was feeling everything I should have all at once. I wordlessly passed the phone to James.
"What are you feeling?" James asked as he passed it back to me. I shrugged in response. I wasn't sure where to even start, and I didn't trust myself to speak without breaking.
"Do you miss him?" James said, softer this time.
"I don't want him to see me like this," I said, my voice hoarse. I leaned forward and put my elbows on my knees.
YOU ARE READING
Lost in Translation
Hombres LoboBen is a 22-year-old with anxiety issues and no idea what he wants to do with his life. Anthony is a college junior who knows exactly what he wants: to socialize with as few people as possible for the rest of *his* life. Ben wasn't looking for a ma...
