Lost in Translation

Chapter 44: You May Have the Floor

———Anthony———

Sunday, July 21st, 2019

When I woke up, I stared at the unfamiliar ceiling for a moment, confused as to where I was. I tensed up when I realized I was in the master bedroom. Ben's arm pulled tighter around me, and I relaxed as his scent washed over me like a wave.

"G'mornin'," Ben mumbled sleepily half into his pillow.

"Good morning," I replied softly. "You want to go back to sleep or get breakfast?"

"Both," Ben answered, still sounding groggy. I laughed as I sat up and swung my feet out of bed. I went to the kitchen and returned with a pizza box containing the leftovers from yesterday. As we ate in bed, I started to feel apprehension settle in my gut as I thought about the conversations we needed to have today. But before I could get too worked up about it, Ben beat me to the punch.

"Why is this room so empty?" Ben asked as he looked around at the blank walls with a curious expression. "Isn't this your room?"

"No, it's, um... it was my mom's, actually," I said as I fidgeted with the blanket in my lap. "James and I cleared it out this week. I figured that if I wanted to make this space something that could be, you know, ours... I needed to start with a blank canvas that wasn't shaded by the ghosts of my past."

Ben turned to me with a concerned frown. "What do you mean?" he asked. I took a shaky breath and threw a quick glance at Ben.

"I guess I should... I should tell you about what happened to my mom... and me." Ben nodded with a concerned look on his face.

As I told Ben how my mom died and why I shattered, I kept my eyes glued to the blanket, careful not to look at the spot where the wardrobe used to be. The wardrobe had been gone for a long time, but I had kept this room shut because of how the memory of it haunted me. James had helped me clear the rest. I even got rid of most of the furniture, save for the bed, although I was hoping we could replace it with Ben's.

I could feel Ben's eyes on me, despite me not looking at him. His gaze didn't leave my face the entire time. He held one of my hands, squeezing gently whenever my voice faltered. He didn't say anything at all until I was completely done.

"That... explains a lot. I can see why you don't put much faith in Fate." Ben said with a sad expression. "I'm sorry, Anthony,"

"Yeah, well, maybe Fate doesn't always suck," I said with a weak smile. I cleared my throat and braced myself.

"When Sarah said stuff about me coming back after graduation, I... I didn't really mean it about not coming back. I just... didn't like that she had decided for me," I said. I figured since we were already in the weeds, I might as well rip the entire bandaid off.

"That's kind of how I felt when you said you weren't planning on coming back," Ben said, causing me to wince. "I mean, if you want to talk about leaving—"

"No, I— I think it's better if we stay. If you are ok with that," I added hurriedly. "I mean, my whole reason for staying away in the first place was to avoid sensing a mate, so..." Ben snorted.

"Well, if you're ok with it, I want to stay in this pack. I'd like to stay close to my family," Ben said.

"Yeah, of course," I agreed. "But, um, before all that... James and I are probably going to go back a few days early. He found an apartment that we are going to look at renting for next year."

"Isn't that more expensive?" Ben asked with a puzzled look.

"Well, yeah, but... with an apartment, we could have our own rooms. With our current situation in the dorms, having guests would be... difficult. There's not a lot of privacy," I explained. Ben laughed and bumped me with his shoulder.