Line Of Fire •L.A•

27. Bittersweet Memory

"Sorry, that was sudden. I mean what Louie said earlier. It's not true. You're worth a lot to so many people. Including me. You're my..." Luke goes silent for a second unsure of what words to use.

Love of my life?

Girl of my dreams?

The words just wouldn't roll off his tongue. "Best friend." Is what came out when he finally managed to speak. It was the truth, but oh how he wished he dared himself to say more. But the fear of ruining what they have held him back.

"You're my best friend too." She whispers after a few seconds.

Luke beats himself up as he leaves her apartment that night. He had stared down psychopaths with unwavering confidence but he just couldn't tell a girl how he truly felt.

How pathetic.

The next day...

The next morning Luke finds it a little harder to get out of bed. He lays there for a few extra minutes with Roxie asleep beside him. His eyes drift to his nightstand, a photo of Phil and him laughing sits on it. He can't remember what the joke was, but it had them both laughing till their sides hurt. The memory leaves a fond smile on Luke's face.

The minutes tick by and finally he pulls himself into sitting position, waking Roxie in the process. She's up within seconds, jumping around him in excitement.

He chuckles softly as he hugs the dog to his chest. She wiggles out of his embrace and runs for the kitchen. When Luke doesn't follow she comes running back and stares at him expectantly.

He gets up from bed, and walks to give her food and water. Which she begins gobbling down immediately. "You act like you've never been fed, mi amore."

He takes a cold shower, letting the water run over his face until it goes numb. He wonders for a moment if that's his cue to get out but he brushes the thought aside and stays for a few extra seconds with his head leaning against the wall. Sudden hot tears warm his face. His mind immediately goes to his father.

"Los chicos no lloran, mi hijo."

("Boys don't cry, my son.")

As much as he loved his father, Matteo Alvez had been a set in his ways, don't show weakness type of man. For years and years, Luke was embarrassed to shed a tear for anything at all. But when he started saving people... and losing some, he realized tears were inevitable. And it didn't make him any less of a man. It made him human and that was okay.

Luke finally steps out of the shower, and puts on his black suit. He thought it appropriate for this day. Phillip Brooks would always deserve the best.

Felicity meets him at his apartment at 8:30. She's holding two drinks and hands one to him when he gets close. "Thought you might need some caffeine for the trip to New York."

He accepts it graciously." Thank you."

She nods a quick you're welcome before asking." How are you doing?"

He wets his lips, unsure of what to say. "I uh, I don't know."

Felicity just nods in understanding. There's a moment of silence before he steps foward and they walk to his car. The 4 hour drive feels like a lifetime. When they finally reach NY, it's past noon. They grab a quick lunch before heading to a flower shop.

They're greeted by an energetic brunette woman in a white milkmaid dress and a long yellow cardigan. Her wrists and neck are covered in colorful heavy-looking jewelry. She reminds Luke of Penelope. "Hi I'm Erin! Welcome in! What can I do for you two today?"

"We're looking for some flowers." Luke blurts out before thinking to himself he should have let Felicity speak.

Erin giggles." Well I'm not sure we carry those."

Felicity hides her smile. Luke sighs but a smile plays on his own face. It was nice to laugh on such a sullen day. "Sorry I don't usually...buy flowers."

Erin pretends to be shocked. "You have such a beautiful girlfriend." She smiles at Felicity with this." And you don't buy her flowers, well I'll be."

"We're not dating." They say in unison, both flushing a brilliant crimson.

Erin nods." I see, I'm sorry for assuming. What are you looking for?"

Luke is glad she changed the topic so quickly. But the flush stays on his cheeks regardless. "I'm not sure..."

"What's the occasion?"

"I'm bringing them to the cemetery..."

Erin's face turns sympathetic." My condolences."

Luke thanks her and soon she's navigating them around, showing them all the flowers that would be best. They finally settle on a bouquet of white roses.

They find themselves at the cemetery after an hour. They walk onto the yard together. Luke feels the sorrow wash over him as they near the grave. The last few steps felt like they are in slow motion. The sun glints off the headstone illuminating the engraved name and dates. It seems almost too sunny of a day for this visit.

Felicity says something and steps away but Luke is hardly listening. He kneels down onto the grass and slowly sets the flowers down. And as he stares at the engravings, memories they'd shared flood his mind. He closes his eyes, allowing himself to be enveloped by the bittersweet memory of what had been and would never be again.

In the quiet of the cemetery, he speaks softly to him, the words he didn't know he possessed coming out in a single breath. Afterwards he just sits there for what feels like hours.

As he lingers there, a sense of peace washes over him. For the first time in a year, he felt lighter in spirit. He finally rises to his feet, and takes one last look at the gravestone before turning and looking for Felicity. He finds her staring down at a grave with a sad look on her face.

"Felicity?"

She doesn't look up. She seems to be in a trance. He steps closer and peers down at the headstone. Engraved in it is a name that makes Luke understand. Avery Coben.

"I haven't been to visit in a long while." She whispers finally, guilt sounding in her tone. "I always hate coming back here due to who is buried beside her." Her eyes only drift slightly before coming back to Avery. "I should have came, regardless. I was just being selfish."

Luke stays quiet, but he slides his large hand slowly into Felicity's, hoping to consul her. He didn't know if it was the right thing to do but he couldn't just stand there. Felicity squeezes it gently in thank you.

He looks over to the neighbor grave. It's a small headstone that reads: Liam Coben
Loving father and husband.

"Your father?"

"Yeah." She says bitterly, now staring down at the inscription with disdain. She's quick to look away.

Luke didn't ask any more questions as they stood there. Occasionally Felicity would say something but it was mostly to herself. His hand stays in hers the whole while.

Finally she turns." We should head home."

Luke nods and together they walk for the car. Their hands slowly fall from each others as they do so.