Loving This Bitch

CHAPTER 27

"Why did you make me come back here? I was fine at the penthouse," I said with crossed arms, leaning against her bedroom door frame. She was drawing in her sketch pad.

"I have a purpose for why I did that," she said, her eyes fixed on her drawing.

"Really? Everything you do has a purpose, right? That's why you agreed to get engaged to Sheldon's dad," I said.

"Don't start with me now, Niona, I'm busy," she replied.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, you're always busy," sinadya kong diinan ang huling salita. "You know he's my tutor, right?" I asked.

"Yeah, I know everything about you," she said.

I scoffed.

"As if," I muttered angrily under my breath. "You know he's my tutor. So why did you make me come back to this house? My studies were going well and my grades have improved since he became my tutor. That's good news, right?" I said, trying to convince her to let me go back to the penthouse. I feel suffocated in her house.

"I haven't seen your grades yet. And besides..." she put down her pencil and looked at me, "I've been hearing that you're getting close to that guy. I told you not to be fooled by what other people show you; you'll only get hurt in the end."

"Yes, Mommy, I remember that very well. That's why I don't have any friends, right? Because you taught me that."

She took a deep breath and continued drawing.

"Go to sleep now, you have school tomorrow." Hindi ko alam pero parang naging mahinahon ang pagkakasabi niya no'n.

"Ah, whatever." Huling sabi ko saka naglakad papuntang kwarto.

Maya-maya ay biglang may kumatok sa aking pintuan. Tamad akong bumangon sa pagkakahiga at binuksan ang pinto. It was Manang Vicky. Bumaba ang aking tingin sa dala niyang tray na may lamang pagkain.

"What's that?" Kunot noo kong tanong.

Ngumiti siya sa akin, "Kumain ka muna, hindi ka pa kumakain simula nang dumating ka kanina."

Tahimik ko siyang pinapasok sa aking kwarto. Ayaw kong may pumapasok na ibang tao rito pero sanay na ako kay Manang Vicky dahil siya rin naman ang naglilinis ng kwarto ko.

Hinintay niya akong makaupo sa kama at isandal ang likod sa headboard bago niya inilapag ang tray sa may bandang hita ko. Tiningnan ko iyon. May kaunting kanin sa gilid ng plato at may dalawang putahe ng ulam. Kaunting adobo at chicken butter. May mangkok pa na may lamang crab and corn soup.

My favorite.

Sinimulan ko ang pagkain habang siya ay nakaupo sa gilid ng aking kama. Hinayaan ko lang siya dahil malamang ay hinihintay niya akong matapos para isahang lakad na lang ang gagawin niya mamaya.

"Nagkausap na ba kayo ng Mommy mo?"

Tumigil sa ere ang kutsarang isusubo ko sana. Sa lahat ng taong nakilala ko, si Manang Vicky ang medyo pinagkakatiwalaan ko. Dahan-dahan akong tumango at itinuloy ang pagsubo.

"Pagpasensyahan mo na ang mama mo, marami lang 'yong iniisip."

I drank the milk. "I know."

"Huwag ka sanang magagalit, hija, pero sana ay intindihin mo siya. Ginagawa niya ang lahat ng makakaya niya para ibigay ang gusto mo, para maging maganda ang buhay mo. Alam ko 'yon dahil isa rin akong ina. Kaya sana—"

Ibinaba ko ang kutsara at tinidor na hawak at tiningnan siya.

"Alam kong marami siyang ginagawa, Manang, kaya nga umalis na ako rito 'diba? Para hindi ako makasagabal dahil baka ma-stress lang siya lalo. Isa pa, wala naman akong pakialam sa kung anong gawin niya. I..." bahagya akong natigilan sa aking sasabihin. "I only ask for one thing. She doesn't have to give me everything. She's given me a lot since I was a child, but there's just one thing I truly ask for. The one thing she still can't give me," mahina kong sabi.