First at Last (Updated Version)

Chapter Fourteen

William and I walked down the street to the estate, without the commander, for a change. Neither of us said much on the way, both contented to simply listen to the silence. My hand was intertwined with his and my palm tingled at the warmth radiating off of him.

At last, we came to stand at the top of the steps before the door to my house. He turned to me and I looked up at him, met his eyes. Then, I stepped up on my toes and kissed him. He pulled me against him, deepening the kiss between us. My eyes fluttered shut, my breath catching in my throat.

After a moment, I pulled away, placing my hand on the brass door handle. "Good night," I said softly.

"Will I see you tomorrow?" He asked.

"I should hope so."

"Well, then," he took my hand and pressed it against his lips. "Good night, My Lady," he murmured, his breath just brushing against my knuckles and a pleasant shiver ran up my spine.

"'Goodnight, sweet prince: and flights of angels sing thee to they rest,'" I said, remembering the lines from Hamlet. They seemed appropriate for the moment. Context aside, that is.

His eyes sparkled in the moonlight. "Hamlet," he said thoughtfully. "'What is it ye would see? If aught woe or wonder, cease your search.'"

My heart thudded painfully against my ribs as he quoted Hamlet back at me. Smiling a little, I pulled my hand out of his grasp and pushed open the door into the entryway, shutting it behind me. Though, my moment of joy was short-lived.

"There you are, Erika." The familiar voice sent ice running through my veins. I turned to see Mother sitting by the door, holding a book in her hands.

I did not know how to reply, so I stayed silent.

"Where have you been?" She asked, setting the book down the table beside her. Her voice was deathly soft and I would have much preferred she yell at me and get it over with.

"Out," I hedged.

"Out where?"

I met her eyes, then, refusing to back down quite so easily. "It isn't really any of your business, is it?"

I had never dared be so bold with Mother and I regretted the words almost immediately after having said them.

Her gray eyes darkened, her mouth pressing into a thin line. "You are my child, therefore it is my business. Of course, one can assume where you were. I believe you were told to cease seeing him, were you not?"

I took a shaking breath and nodded. "I was. But, you do not understand, I had to. I needed to see him—"

Her eyes flashed. "You think I do not understand? I am nothing but a cold, bitter woman who knows nothing about love, is that right? That I could never understand the need to be around a person, the wanting, the longing."

I blinked at her, uncertain. That is shockingly close to what I thought about her, but I did not realize she knew it. I did not realize she knew how I felt either. "If you understand, then why are you so against us, Mother? Why wouldn't you want us to be together?"

"Because you cannot be together. He and Alice are going to be married, Erika."

"But, Mother, I—"

"Enough," she snapped. "I am not going to argue with you. You and the prince will never be together."

There was so much I wanted to say. I did want to argue. I wanted to know why. Why it had to be Alice. Why it could never be me. But, of course, I bent to Mother's will as I always did.

I swallowed around the lump forming in my throat. "Yes, Mother."

Her hand shot out and latched onto my wrist. Her nails dug into my skin and I bit back a yelp. She pulled me up the stairs and I did not fight her. We reached my room, where I found the door unlocked, but I could have sworn I locked it. I looked up to find Mother smiling cruelly at me, holding a key in her other hand.

"You are not the only one with a key, dear." She shoved me inside. "Now, give me your key." She said, holding out her hand, palm up, expectant. I did as she said, my eyes burning. "You will be in here for an undetermined amount of time. You will take your meals in here, Miss Grimoult will teach you in here, you will not be dancing anymore, and you will not be allowed out under any circumstances. Understood?"

I nodded, swallowing against the tightness in my throat.

With a last look in my direction, Mother turned and left, shutting the door behind her. There was a loud click as the lock slid into place and I was alone in my room, with no way out.

Tears blurred my vision as I sat on my bed. There was nothing I could do now. He would end up marrying my sister and I would still have to be around him. I unlaced my gown and undressed, which was a lot more difficult without Agnes's help. Once I'd dressed in my nightgown, I laid down in bed and pulled the sheets over me. I blew out the candle on my nightstand and shut my eyes tightly, but sleep was a long time coming.