Kingdom of isolation - you can't hide

Eighteen ~ Aurora

Aurora

Age 19

Gentle wind caresses my skin and ruffles my dyed hair, the salty air a constant reminder of my incredible feat that came with a heavy price. Uncle Noah wasn't happy when I threatened to abandon him for this place after that night at the hospital. He's never been happy with anything that's concerned with my 'safety'. I assured him that I was the safest I'd ever been but he didn't listen—typical Noah Evans behaviour—his apprehension clear as day. So I ran away, like a thief from my own house, and left him a note saying how sorry I was. That I'll come back for the holidays and he shouldn't be too mad at me. I did go back for my Christmas break and he was still adamant about me leaving the place because it was starting to get risky. He wouldn't tell me why that was and I didn't want to know. We parted on a bittersweet note. It might sound crazy, but at one point, I think he was trying to kidnap me so I'd be hundreds of miles away from HRU. It must have been the tickets I accidentally came across in his jacket pocket that raised my hackles.

Needless to say, I still managed to make it back to HRU for the remainder of the semester. My ass tingles from sitting in one position for too long but I'm afraid that if I move, any semblance of calm will cease to exist. A little something about not heeding the consequences—you still have to face them no matter how hard you ignore them. I realised soon enough how selfish and immature it was of me to ignore his warnings altogether. I'll admit, I may have made a mistake by staying here because this place that I praised so much, actually sucked. It sucked in a way that is hard to describe, it's more of a nefarious feeling. I must have truly lost a few brain cells while I stayed here because of how quickly I got comfortable in making friends and hanging out with them like they were my long lost buddies. I mean, what the fuck was wrong with me? Prior to attending HRU, I was never like this because I made sure to cut that weakness out of me like it was a parasite. But, no. Someone suddenly shows me a hint of kindness without any malicious intentions and I nearly lose my mind, throwing caution to the wind along with the years of training to avoid getting attached to people. Maybe that's why my uncle's always been so protective of me, clearly I cannot take care of myself.

I was so blown away by the sudden friendships that I disregarded and completely disrespected what Uncle Noah was telling me from the very beginning. He wouldn't have been so adamant if he wasn't sure about something. I kick the little pebble beneath my shoes with unnecessary force and it has the audacity to not even waver. I may have felt wronged by many but my uncle has never been one of those people. He's the only one I can wholeheartedly trust and if he was telling me something, I should have listened. I love my little family with every fibre of my being and I will not do something that jeopardises their safety. You've probably done enough damage already, you selfish idiot. I sigh, hoping I wasn't too late.

It's funny, isn't it? For as long as I can remember, I've hopped from city to city, country to country without ever getting comfortable and suddenly I was starting to get too comfortable in a place that was strictly forbidden for me from the very beginning. I think back on how I celebrated my 18th birthday and got Uncle Noah to sign the papers for this University—without him knowing about it at first, obviously. It was a completely different story when he did but I still managed to convince him even after he dropped the truth bombs on me. The fact that he agreed to let me go despite his initial reluctance should have been my first warning. Did my dumb ass pay any attention? Of course not. Then, he asked me to stay as inconspicuous as possible, something he's never had to ask me because it was an unwritten rule between us. Again, that should have made my spidey senses tingle and yet it didn't.

He even laid down some conditions which were fairly simple in theory but should have had me questioning them: wear contacts, face must remain hidden and for the love of all good things, don't bring attention to myself or mingle with the royal crowd. So I chose to wear a mask on campus and outside of it thinking that would solve all my problems while hanging around with actual royalty. My course didn't have too many students who took interest in it and therefore, my classrooms were rather vacant. I didn't know creative writing had become this redundant, since there were about 12 of us in a classroom and I happened to wear a face mask that immediately made me an outcast. In hindsight, that was a colossally dumb move because it made me stand out even more. It's almost like I wanted to defy the man. I grind my molars in frustration, just thinking about it all is making me want to dig a hole and die in it. I've been having these thoughts for a while now, the regret is starting to creep up on me. Have I finally let him down?