Manual Of The Forbidden - Ryeji

Chapter 25

*long chapter*

The guilt I felt at that moment was inexplicable. It was as if the organs inside my body had become heavy before disappearing, leaving a completely overwhelming void. I had hit rock bottom.

I was drunk, of course, but I still had a hint of sanity left.

The broken heart beneath my chest ached with the immense guilt I was feeling; it was as if I had a thorn lodged in my blood pumper. Each beat was a stronger wave of pain, and the sea to which those waves belonged had a name: Lia.

Yuna had warned me: "nothing stupid," she had said, and yet I went with a sign of 'stupid' painted on my forehead.

Surely Yuna would kill me, but that was for the best; I deserved to die at the very least, or less dramatically, leave Lia's life.

The departure time had come; I had to leave as soon as I had the chance, take the first plane to Seoul or any other means that offered me a way out of here.

My head began to throb with pain, and with my stomach still churning, I got out of bed, quickly visualizing the bathroom, where I ran and emptied the contents of my stomach.

After I was empty, I washed my face and collapsed onto the white tile floor, feeling its cold contact with my skin, and there, curled up like a thread on the ground, I lost consciousness again.

When I opened my eyes, the headache drilled intensely into my skull, making me close them again. I tried to open them again, slowly, and the bright daylight dazzled me to the point where the pain intensified.

I had a vague memory of the day before, and the more I tried to sort out the mess in my head, the more it hurt.

The bar, the mirror, Ryujin, her Audi, the kiss... Lia!

As soon as those words made sense, the memory came flooding back. I jumped up and visualized a room after a few seconds.

It wasn't mine, of that I was sure; the room's decor was black and white. It was the room of a woman with peculiar tastes in color, and the only person that came to mind was Ryujin.

The bed was unmade, but I was sure that last night I had collapsed on the bathroom floor and not on the bed. Unfortunately, nothing had been just a nightmare, as I would have wished; everything was real, and those pink, plump, soft lips, now flavored with mint and chocolate, had been mine last night, for a minute.

I tried to find a clock; I found a small one on the desk. It was twelve thirty-five in the afternoon, and my head wouldn't stop hurting.

I went to the bathroom, still feeling dizzy, and washed my face. I tried to fix my neglected black hair, and after I saw myself looking better, I decided I had to run out of this house.

I hoped and crossed my fingers that Ryujin wasn't there; that way, I could leave without her noticing and... just go.

I grabbed my bag from a nearby chair and slung it over my chest. I gathered my courage and turned the doorknob, opening it. I walked out with my gaze low, and the instant I found myself outside the room, I raised it, horrified by the clear midday light.

But there was something that dazzled me more than the daylight: Ryujin's presence in the room.

She was looking at me, sitting on one of the chairs near the table, another thorn in my heart. We both stared at each other for a long time, as if communicating with our eyes. It could have been interpreted as a painful and insulting "I hate you," or as the most honest "I love you" in history.