Her Stain

38.

The Chauhan's mansion was deadly silent after Siya left. Paravati finally burst out angrily, "Woh chhote Ghar ki ladki--"

"Bas, Maa." She was cut off by Yuvaraaj. Her body freezing, at the blankness in his voice. Her voice came out as a whisper, "Yuvi?"

Yuvaraaj looked up, and Parvati flinched at the endless pain in her son's eyes. Yuvaraj's jaw clenched, an expression she had seen again, after 5 years.

The eyes that seemed absolutely shattered, but couldn't even find their own voices. How could it, when the person with whom he was at war was his own heart.

The mother that he had positioned in his heard, her name engraved so deep that saying a single hurtful word was like ripping himself open, the crown that he had worn on his head. He could've lost the kingdom, the heritage yet it wouldn't have hurt him, for the one who truly made him the King was his mother. His Raani Ma, the woman for whom he had matured all too early to please, the woman for whom he had never let himself rest to provide only the best.

How could he find the voices to battle his own heart? His own flesh and blood?

It was as if by hurting Siya, Raani Paravati Rajveer Singh Chauhan had ripped open her own son, crushed his heard and destroyed his very soul. Yuvaraj, for a second couldn't even formulate words.

All these years, Yuvaraaj could hold seminars at the young age of 15, could lead a company through bankruptcy and reach the top spot of business industry, learn to be a king and burden all the problems on his shoulder. He could go through all the pain and stand alone, still strong.

He had learnt to do everything, everything but speaking of his pain. Rana Yuvaraj Singh Chauhan could speak about everything, his love for his people, his will and determination in the meeting room, but this lonely king couldn't speak of his majesty's pain.

He could win the world single handedly, but alas lost at the hands of his own people. He swallowed, before his voice spoke hoarsely, "Jaan hai woh meri," Paravati's eyes teared up in an instant, aching for her son, he continued, "Unhe chhot pohochate hue, aapne kabhi yeh nahi socha ki, aap hum pe bhi waar kar rahi hai?"

He blinked his eyes, biting his cheeks. He shook his head a little ironic smile on his lips, "Kya bachane ki koshish kar rahi thi aap, Maa Sa? Konsa ruaab, konsi izzat bachali aapne do begunah logo ko chot pohochake?"

Paravati finally cried, "She was hurting you, beta!"

Yuvaraj laughed, hollow and blank, shaking his head. A breathy chuckle left him, his hands clenching he spoke, "No, Maa Sa. No...," he discreetly wiped the corner of his eyes, "No. She didn't hurt me." His eyes when found his Maa Sa's there was a fire which stabbed at Paravati's heart. "You did."

He took a step forward, "Hurting her that way, you hurt me."

Paravati started crying, "Beta, she wouldn't say yes to the wedding! How could I not give you your only desire? Its been years since you even smiled, how could I take away that smile from you?!"

He bit out, "I never asked for anything to you,  Maa Sa." He looked at his mother, bitterly, "Nothing but Siya."

He sighed, "But Maa Sa, she isn't an object. Zinda hain woh, koi cheez nahi jisse aap jhagad kar, chhot pohocha kar haasil karle."

"She's somebody who deserves the whole world's love, every happiness all at her feet but this?"

He shook his head, he whispered, "Not this. This pain, hurt and guilt. She didn't deserve any of this." He clenched his jaw. He straightened up, walking away.