Listen To Me

chapter 17 ⋆ believe (in) me

past

Noel returned to school after Michael's party with an incurable sickness floating in her stomach. She told herself that she needed to be strong. Noel couldn't tell anyone because otherwise, they'd think she was weak. She couldn't even say no to sex. Even though she'd told Kelly that they would only kiss, nothing more.

Besides, the repercussions of accusing Michael of rape would be terrible. His parents held power and influence over the school. They could get Noel expelled, or they could sue her for defamation. Noel would never recover from the embarrassment.

But when Noel stepped into the hallway, she realised that she would encounter something far worse. 

Michael and Noel's old cheerleader friends stared at her like she had the plague. Whenever she went near, they moved away. Their whispers tainted Noel's mind like stains on her soul.

"She begged Michael to fuck her?"

"That's so embarrassing. I wouldn't show my face if I was Noel."

Shatter, shatter, shatter. Every word pulled at a separate shard of Noel's heart, tugging it further away from me. She chased after happiness like it was her last breath of air, but when it came down to it, Noel was never happy.

Ignoring the catcalls and laughing, she stormed up to Kelly Rowland. Her friend of five years, who would always have her back no matter what. 

Kelly turned with unseeing eyes. She laughed, and it sounded dead as anything. "What the fuck, Noel?"

"It's not true." Noel protested desperately. "You know I'd never have sex with him. I told you yesterday."

"All I know is what I'm seeing. A girl who thought she could outsmart her friends, and fuck the guy I've liked for a whole year."

What? "What are you talking about?" Noel demanded.

Kelly's eyes glinted maliciously. "I knew you were desperate, Noel, but I never thought you could be such a slut."

It was as bad as a hit to the head. Noel staggered, feeling the full burden of Kelly's words wash over her. She turned and fled.

Because now, she was truly alone.

Thus began the bullying. Michael ascended to the top of the high school hierarchy, kicking Noel down so that everyone could stamp on her. She felt like an insignificant bug. She was forced to watch her step wherever she went. Anyone would have gone insane, in a school where everyone delighted in the downfall of one person.

When Michael moved a year later, everyone fell into chaos. Nothing changed with Noel's bullying, though. People forgot the reason why she was so disliked, but Noel's peers always remembered that they were better than her. 

Inch by inch, Noel fell into the chasm until it was too late for her to resurface.

Until Jax stepped into the storm.

///

two years later

Jax

Two years, gone by just like that. I return to boarding school reluctantly, taller than before. My hair isn't quite so long or thin anymore, having regained its golden lustre. I cropped it short in August, but my hair can grow quicker than grass in summer.

My room is empty. It's the fresh start I need.

"How's the new room looking?" I turn my head sharply when I hear Georgia's voice. I'm startled to see her looking somewhat different, with no glasses and braces long gone. Her hair grew over the summer, and it just brushes the small of her back, I imagine.

"Decent." I reply with a grin. "How's yours?"

Georgia rolls her eyes. "Arden's already gone and claimed my bunk for the day. He's taking a nap. So," she wiggles her eyebrows, "Do you have any classes with you-know-who?"

"Shut up." I mutter. "My crush on Jean is long gone. I don't care about the girl anymore."

She shrugs. "Fair enough. I mean, she only spoke to you two or three times." I give my best friend the middle finger, and she throws her head back and laughs. "Looked at your timetable then?"

I shake my head and grab the envelope that the receptionist handed me, opening it. To my surprise, I see AP Sociology at the top of the list.

"That's new." I say, showing my timetable to Georgia. She grabs the paper out of my hands, analysing it.

"We don't have any classes together." she says, looking disappointed.

"Next year." I comfort her. "I have to get to my first class, alright? It's Sociology."

"Take care." Georgia kisses me on the cheek and leaves my room. I touch the spot where her lips kissed me with my fingertips, thinking. Georgia was attractive, but we were only ever friends. We'd kissed before, but it was only for fun. I was past playing games now.

With no thoughts of Noel Jean in my mind, I leave for my first class of the day. Sociology.

When I get to the classroom, I'm completely surprised by the greeting I get.

"Hey." Mason greets me. Mason, who used to be part of Michael's posse. Mason, my childhood bully and football jock.

"Hey." I repeat back, at a loss to understand why he's being friendly.

Then I realise it's not just him. Everyone in the class is looking at me like I have two heads, whispering. But they're not laughing at me. Instead, I see expressions of curiosity, even vague excitement.

"So what's your name?" Mason asks me. Then I genuinely begin to realise that he doesn't recognise me. I've been gone for two years for home-schooling, and now I'm being granted a clean slate. But fuck being friends with Mason, or any of the others. I don't forgive and forget easily.

Then my eyes slide to someone far more interesting. A girl sitting at the back of the classroom, popping bubbles from her gum, shocking pink ones blooming under her darkly lined eyes like flowers.

And my heart drops to the floor, soars into the sky. I have no idea how to feel, because Noel Jean is in my Sociology class. And she looks destroyed. In two years, she's fallen down farther than I did.

She didn't look broken, at first. Blowing bubbles with her gum at the back of the classroom, shocking pink ones blooming under her darkly lined eyes like flowers. She tilted her chair back, looking insolently at whatever the teacher was saying. Twisting the heavyset ring on her index finger.

There was something intoxicating about her careless beauty, like a pearl buried in tarnished soil. Noel was intimidating, but I caught the vulnerability behind her shield. 

And I knew that she was going to be the one to save herself, in the end.

///