Listen To Me

chapter 8 ⋆ lose me

Noel

"This is stupid." Arden says flatly. He's visiting me in my dorm, despite the rules banning mixed-sex interactions in the dormitories. He flops onto my bed, peering up at me. His dark hair falls over his forehead. "He wants to talk to you, Noel. Just let him try."

I'm sitting on my couch with a bottle of vodka, staring defiantly back at Arden. "Jax made it clear that I'm no longer part of his life. If he wants to be friends with Georgia, he's a free man. I'm not chaining myself to his problems." I shrug and take a swig from my golden bottle, ignoring Arden's puppy dog eyes.

"You don't mean that." Arden says sadly. "You used to be sharp and cutting, but I see you. You're better than this, Noel."

I sigh. "Am I better, Arden? Being with Jax didn't change me. I'm still the same fuck-up as before."

"Jax feels the same way." Arden says quietly, and my head turns to face him against my will. Arden believes what he's saying, it's clear from his determination. "He feels like he's messed up, and he wants to explain himself. Give him a chance."

"Jax never made me doubt myself until yesterday, Arden. I need time and space." I say.

Arden sighs, getting up from my bed. "I'll come back tonight with some food, okay? What do you want?"

I think to myself. "Some bulgogi would be nice. There's a good Korean food place, only a few streets down."

"Got it. See you later." Arden says softly. He looks at me before he leaves the room.

I get down from the couch and pad over to my secret drawer. I open it, assessing my range of drink choices. Being an alcoholic was never my aim in life, but it's become my crutch. The brief week that I've spent dating Jax reduced my reliance on alcohol. But now that Jax betrayed my trust, my crutch surges back in full strength. 

So I spend the rest of the morning wallowing in my own self-destruction, until it's time for Sociology. We're still doing the assigned project on Nietzsche. My kind teacher says that yes, I can do independent work for this week's lessons. As long as Jax is okay with it.

I don't bother to inform my boyfriend that I'm not going to be at the library. Instead, I sit in my room with my computer and I work on compiling an essay. Worst case, I'll submit that for my 50% in this project.

As promised, Arden returns to my dorm that night with food. But as his tall frame appears in my room, I observe Georgia's beautiful face appearing around my door, just behind him. She steps into my room cautiously, looking around.

I frown at Arden. "What the hell are you doing?"

"There's no need to be aggressive, Noel." Georgia says sharply. She toys with her earrings as she speaks to me, her dark eyes fixed on mine. "Arden told me about your situation with Jax."

This is too much for me. I look over at Arden, feeling completely betrayed. But he's looking back at me with no regret in his face. Furious, I turn back to Georgia and cross my arms. I'm aware that I look like I haven't slept in days. "If you have a speech to give me, then say it." I say, straightening my hair.

Georgia sighs, sitting on my bed. She looks over at Arden. "Can you give us a second?"

Arden holds his hands up and retreats from my bedroom. Georgia turns back to me, running her fingers through her straightened hair as she speaks. Her eyes are coolly fixed on mine. "You know I really was happy to meet you on Arden's birthday? These boys keep to themselves, most of the time. Seeing another girl, especially someone close to Jax, is all I wanted."

"But you have a problem with me." I argue. "You treated me like I was part of the car seat when we met."

"So what does that have to do with Jax?" Georgia asks. I can tell that she's trying to understand my perspective, which I simultaneously appreciate, for her empathy, and dislike, because it comes across as patronizing.