Buhos na Ulan, Aking Mundo'y Lunuring Tuluyan

CHAPTER 8 - Melancholy Mikha

—MIKHA—

As I saw Aiah leave the shop and walk towards the car, I followed her with my eyes. It was Colet. "Shit. She finally asked her out," I muttered to myself. I felt a sense of defeat, knowing Aiah would likely enjoy Colet's company.

I hid inside the shop, peeking through the window as Colet assisted Aiah into the car. Shit. It felt like something pierced through me.

I felt jealousy and bitterness, but more evident was regret because I could have asked her out. I could have confessed that I liked her, even though it meant we would be breaking some unspoken rules.

I sank down to the floor, my back against the wall, lost in thought. The shop, usually a place of comfort and purpose, now felt like a prison cell, confining me with my regrets and what-ifs. I replayed the moments we shared, from that unexpected night in Cavite to our quiet conversations.

The echo of my own words haunted me: "My job now got a little more interesting because of you." Why didn't I say more? Why didn't I take the chance when I had it?

I heard the soft hum of Colet's car as it sped away, taking Aiah with it—the person I couldn't stop thinking about. My heart ached with a mix of emotions that felt overwhelming.

Outside, the sky was beginning to darken, the setting sun casting long shadows through the shop windows. The vibrant colors of the baked goods on display felt mocking in their cheerfulness, contrasting sharply with my mood. I buried my face in my hands, trying to steady my breathing, but the weight of my feelings pressed down on me.

In my mind, I could see Aiah's smile, hear her laughter, and feel the warmth of her presence. It all felt so tangible, yet painfully out of reach now. I had to accept that tonight, she was with Colet. But what about tomorrow?

...

Later that night, I went to Bank Bar in Makati and called Gwen to accompany me. The bar was dimly lit, with soft jazz playing in the background. The air was thick with the scent of cologne and expensive liquor. I sat at the front, ordered a whisky on the rocks, and let the cold glass rest against my lips as I sulked over thoughts of Aiah. The ice clinked softly, a stark contrast to the turmoil inside me.

Someone tapped my shoulder. "Mikha, are you okay? Kamusta?" It was Gwen. She slid onto the stool beside me, gesturing to the bartender for a Cosmopolitan.

"Gwen, thanks for coming," I said, my voice tinged with a sadness I couldn't hide.

"What happened?" she asked, concern etched on her face.

"I have this girl that I like but I can't confess because we cannot be a thing," I confessed to my best friend. "...And a friend of mine also likes this girl."

"Teka, kilala ko ba yan?" Gwen's curiosity was piqued, her eyebrows knitting together.

I looked into Gwen's eyes, silent. Suddenly, she got it. Her face registered shock, her eyes widening.

"Si Aiah ba 'to?! Kasi I remember Colet told me she was going to ask her on a date, and I knew you cannot date this girl kasi she works for you." She figured it out instantly.

I sipped the rest of my drink, the burn of the whisky a momentary distraction. "Ang talino mo talaga, Gwen," I said, dropping my glass on the table and signaling the bartender for another.

"Huy, dahan-dahan lang, magd-drive ka pa," Gwen warned, her voice filled with concern.

I let out a heavy sigh, the weight of my unspoken feelings pressing down on me. "I saw them leave together tonight, Gwen. It felt like something tore right through me. I had my chance, but I didn't take it. Now Colet is with her."

Gwen reached out and placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. "Mikha, if you really like her, you have to tell her. You can't keep this to yourself forever. I know it's complicated because she works for you, but you owe it to yourself to be honest about your feelings."

"I know, but it's not just about me. It's about her too. If I tell her and things go wrong, it could affect her job, her future," I replied, the frustration evident in my voice.

"Love is always a risk, Mikha. But living with regret is worse," Gwen said softly, taking a sip of her drink.

The bartender brought over another whisky, and I took a long, contemplative sip. The liquid warmth spread through me, dulling the edges of my pain but not erasing it. Gwen's words echoed in my mind. Love is always a risk.

...

Later that night, Gwen left, and I was alone in the bar, nursing my drink and lost in thought. The dim lighting cast long shadows, and the soft murmur of conversations around me felt distant. Just as I was about to take another sip, I felt another tap on my shoulder.

"Gwen, akala ko umalis ka na?" I muttered, turning to face the person. But it wasn't Gwen. It was Maloi, my first love.

"Maloi? What are you doing here? How did you find me?" I asked in shock. She looked exactly the same as she did two years ago—beautiful, with her signature bayoneta glasses.

"I always come here, hoping I'd find you. Especially after I heard you were back," she replied.

I turned to fully face Maloi, and she hugged me. The mix of emotions that surged through me was overwhelming. My feelings for her were resurfacing, but at the same time, I had feelings for Aiah.

"Kamusta ka na? Baka naman pwede tayong mag-usap," she pleaded, her eyes filled with longing and sincerity.

"Ano pa pag-uusapan natin, Maloi? It was two years ago, at ikaw yung umalis," I told her, pain evident in my voice. The feelings were starting to come back. I had never loved anyone the way I loved Maloi.

"I regret what I did, Mikha. You know I had to go back to Manila because of my family situation. I didn't want to leave you," Maloi explained, her voice trembling.

"Not now, Maloi. Not now. We can talk about this another time," I said, standing up and leaving some bills on the table. I started walking towards the door.

Maloi followed me outside, her footsteps hurried. "Mikha, please, don't leave me like this. I want you back, I need you back. Ikaw pa rin hanggang ngayon," she said, her voice breaking.

"Well, those are the words I wanted to hear from you two years ago. Bakit ngayon lang? Sorry pero you're too late," I uttered, my heart heavy with conflicting emotions.

Before I could leave, Maloi grabbed my hand and made me turn to her. Then she kissed me. The world seemed to stop for a moment as our lips met. All the memories, the love, the pain—it all came rushing back. But this kiss felt different. It wasn't the same as it had been before.

I pulled away, breathless and confused. "Maloi, this isn't fair. You can't just come back into my life and expect everything to be the same."

"I know, Mikha, but I had to try. I still love you," she said, tears welling in her eyes.

"I... I need time to think," I replied, feeling torn between my past with Maloi and my present with Aiah.